Over DD’s passport

[AngelicaSchuylerAndHerSisters]

ExDH wants to take the kids abroad to meet his gf’s parents in Spain in two weeks. I know the kids would love to go. I mentioned to him that he should check the expiration dates on the passports - which he denied having. He then texted me yesterday accusing me of lying about not having the kids’ passports. Eventually they were found at his mum’s house. DD’s passport is out of date. He asked me to apply online for a renewal, but I tried and it wouldn’t arrive in time. Now he wants me to take her to the local passport office to get the 7 day service. I am happy to do that but the only appointments are when I’m at work. I have said I can go after school or at the weekend. I explained I cannot take the day off because half the office is isolating and my boss would refuse. He just called me an ‘obstructive fucking cow’. Am I being unreasonable for not wanting to call in sick to sort a passport he should be doing himself? I am so angry I’m not thinking straight.

@ArnoldBee

I would check as I didn't think you could fast track kids ones. Could be wrong but it would certainly stop the argument if I'm right!

You can use the 7 day service to renew a child passport

What a psycho.

op make sure you leave a email message/text trail telling him everything you have done & what he has said so he can't say to the dc it was your fault

@dementedpixie she can't get an appointment so 7 day fast track is irrelevant

Please stop doing this. He is responsible for the holiday he has booked, not you. Tell him to sort it out himself and do not back down.

[quote mumwon]@dementedpixie she can't get an appointment so 7 day fast track is irrelevant[/quote]
Yes, she can't get an appointment. Nothing to say that he can't get one though. I was replying to a comment that said you can't fast track a child passport renewal

stop enabling this ass hole..if he wants his DC to meet his new girlfriends family he can fire off and take them to the passport office. Time for you to stop thinking it is your 'job'. Keep telling him - here is the stuff you need- leave it at that

[quote AngelicaSchuylerAndHerSisters]@Theworldisquiethere because he is an overgrown manchild who expects things to be done for him[/quote]
So make sure you disappoint him. Do it thoroughly.

Absolutely not your problem.
And no way would I help anyone who spoke to me like that.

His holiday, his problem. Agree he will be a massive pain in the arse about the passport if you ever need it if he has to renew it and pay for it though.

Of course YANBU. If he wants to take the kids abroad he should be sorting out the passport problem. Why was the passport at his DM's house anyway?

Stop pandering to him. Just keep saying, "No I'm not doing it. I cannot take time off work and I am not your personal assistant. You want to take them abroad so you need to sort out the passport."

And repeat ad infinitum.

The moment he started being abusive was the point at which you stop doing anything to help him.

'Tough shit, shouldn't speak to me like that then, should you?'

None of this is your responsibility.
He decided to arrange the holiday, he should have thought about passports well in advance.

To all those asking, my DS asked me to please sort this so they can go abroad. My ex is really unreliable. I am not prepared to take time off to arrange this or PCR tests etc so I will bet £50 this trip won’t now happen.

[quote AngelicaSchuylerAndHerSisters]@Daphnise you are exactly correct. He will see this passport as his property.[/quote]
I think that would require a report that the new passports he obtains (because you aren't doing it now) were lost after the holiday and purely coincidentally just before you decided to book one yourself.

Well, they were lost last time, weren't they? Might just as well order some new ones rather than put him out by asking him to look for where he put them when you're planning your next holiday.

There is such a lot of extra admin to travel anywhere at the moment. I bet that even if he got the passport he would forget to do the covid related stuff.

He expects YOU to take time off work, to get a passport so that HE can take your kids to meet his new GF's family???

Seriously.

Then calls you an 'obstructive fucking cow’

Jesus, I can't think why he's an ex?! At least tell me she wasn't the OW? Mind you, if she was I'd be thanking her.

Did he send you flowers, an Solihull fir accusing you of lying about the passports, when they were at HIS mothers?

...is that a pig I see flying past the window?!

@AngelicaSchuylerAndHerSisters

To all those asking, my DS asked me to please sort this so they can go abroad. My ex is really unreliable. I am not prepared to take time off to arrange this or PCR tests etc so I will bet £50 this trip won’t now happen.

Tell your DS, that his father is the adult flying and HE can take time off work to sort it out!!

It's obvious why you're divorced; he's a massive entitled twat.

he can do it and pay for it himself or he you can apply for one when you have the time and money.

And I wouldn't lift a finger for someone who called me a liar about something like this either ... can't imagine he's apologised after his mother 'found' the passports that she should not have been in possession of in the first place no doubt.

Good for you OP, you are right, stick to your guns!

@AngelicaSchuylerAndHerSisters

To all those asking, my DS asked me to please sort this so they can go abroad. My ex is really unreliable. I am not prepared to take time off to arrange this or PCR tests etc so I will bet £50 this trip won’t now happen.

You need to tell DS that when they are with their dad or their dad arranges things, it is his job to sort things out and when they are with you it is your job.

Otherwise DS will grow up into an entitled shit that thinks women are there to serve men just like his twat father.

Why are you even facillitating his irresponsibility?

First he calls you a liar instead of making the effort of checking, then he expects you to sort it out. You are encouraging his fecklessness.

So, he is taking the children out of the UK - he really should have your permission. Lots of times I have gone out the UK with the DCs and tbh, it was only ever flagged up when I had a different surname to them (DH and I not are married so have the same last name).

Remind the entitled one that you are happy for the DCs to go, but he needs to act like a parent.

Huge backlog on passports just now. Little chance I'd say that he (you) will get an appointment. I can see why you are trying to facilitate for DC's sake and so he doesn't claim said passport as his own though. He sounds V unreasonable. The holiday won't go ahead due to his lack of organisation and planning which is more necessary now than is normal, which most people understand. You will probably be blamed but you know you're not on the wrong!

Not really the point but I renewed my passport last month. I filled out the online application form on the Monday. It was delivered 8 days later on the Tuesday. Same for DP who applied a couple of weeks ago. Struggling to get used to the colour though.