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AIBU?

To leave 3yo in park whilst going to the loo?

737 replies

DoormatBob · 11/09/2021 21:55

Not sure if this is an AIBU or more WWYD but was at a rural touristy attraction. When we arrived both DD (3, nearly 4) and me needed the loo. DD went then refused to wait for me and ran out to the play area (toilets were within the play area but not staffed/ticketed).

I told her to wait but she said no and was off, told me she was going on the slides as she legged it away! We've been there before so she knows where she's going.

I had to go to the loo and therefore she played in the park for 2 minutes unsupervised.

AIBU
YES - i should have got her back and made her stay with me.
NO - she is OK for 2 mins, she knows where I am.

What would others do? She is very independent and confident but it's just the safety aspect.

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

4890 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
93%
You are NOT being unreasonable
7%
Cocomarine · 11/09/2021 22:25

@DoormatBob

That's unanimous!

She was in the cubicle with me but she went first then opened the door and went out, I followed but had to go back, I can't really hold to be honest.

Asking as I hated it and knew it wasn't right but unsure how bad it was.

I wasn't concerned she would be anywhere other than where she said, she would not have left the play area. The concerns are general safety (hurting herself) or the more sinister.

But not the concern that she’s not even started school yet but knows that she doesn’t have to do what you say? 😳
driftcompatible · 11/09/2021 22:25

She's confident and independent you said? That's good. She would have told any would be kidnapper to F-off then, rugby tackled him to the ground and alerted the authorities.

Are you actually serious?!

I would have sooner urinated myself than left a toddler alone in a public place.

Figgyboa · 11/09/2021 22:25

Hell no!

Twolostsoulsswimminginafishbow · 11/09/2021 22:26

This has to be a reverse somehow. No one would leave a three year old unattended like that.

Ourlady · 11/09/2021 22:26

Shocking OP. I would rather have peed myself and ran after her than let her just run off and leave her.

Doggiedementia · 11/09/2021 22:26

So she doesn’t do what you tell her and stay in the cubicle, but you know she would stay in the park?

FortunesFave · 11/09/2021 22:26

@DoormatBob

That's unanimous!

She was in the cubicle with me but she went first then opened the door and went out, I followed but had to go back, I can't really hold to be honest.

Asking as I hated it and knew it wasn't right but unsure how bad it was.

I wasn't concerned she would be anywhere other than where she said, she would not have left the play area. The concerns are general safety (hurting herself) or the more sinister.

Honestly if she was in the cubicle with you, you should have just stopped her physically....put your foot on the door or whatever if you were already sitting on the loo!

I can't believe you let a three year old open the door and leave. You're naive to not be concerned she'd be anywhere other than where she said...she's THREE! They're not reliable.
Plumtree391 · 11/09/2021 22:26

You really should have made her come back, anything could have happened. Things even happen sometimes when a parent is present, you only have to take your eyes off them for a few seconds! I'm sorry to say that if it triggers panicky feelings but it is true.

Had you been in the cubicle in mid-wee and she ran out, that wouldn't have been your fault.

I'm glad she was safe. All is well. I'm sure you won't do it again, try to put it behind you.

If the situation arises again and she desperately needs the loo take her into the cubicle with you and you go first, she wees second.

Snookie00 · 11/09/2021 22:26

I’m quite relaxed/ slack about parenting in comparison to many of the very paranoid/ perfect mums on here but even I would draw the line at a 3yo being left to roam. That’s far too young.

NCBlossom · 11/09/2021 22:26

No way on earth would I let my 3 year old out of my sight.

BlackTee40 · 11/09/2021 22:26

@DoormatBob

Not sure if this is an AIBU or more WWYD but was at a rural touristy attraction. When we arrived both DD (3, nearly 4) and me needed the loo. DD went then refused to wait for me and ran out to the play area (toilets were within the play area but not staffed/ticketed).

I told her to wait but she said no and was off, told me she was going on the slides as she legged it away! We've been there before so she knows where she's going.

I had to go to the loo and therefore she played in the park for 2 minutes unsupervised.

AIBU
YES - i should have got her back and made her stay with me.
NO - she is OK for 2 mins, she knows where I am.

What would others do? She is very independent and confident but it's just the safety aspect.

😲😲😲

I normally think most shit on here is snowflake bollocks but even I think this is downright negligent.
Peanutbuttercupisyum · 11/09/2021 22:26

Is she your oldest? I ask because sometimes we trust our oldest or think of them as more sensible than they are. She’s 3..there’s so way you can actually trust her to do anything.

PatchworkElmer · 11/09/2021 22:27

Felt sick reading this. It’s absolutely not ok. My DC would’ve been taken straight home too.

Cynderella · 11/09/2021 22:27

@KihoBebiluPute

For a 3 yo they should be bolted into the same cubicle as you in the loo. I know this means you don't get privacy for using the loo but that's the price you pay for your child being safe.

Every time.
godmum56 · 11/09/2021 22:27

@Wineandroses3

No I wouldn’t have let her go. But at the same time I think most parents would say there have been times when their kids were little that something bad could have happened and it was only pure luck it didn’t. Mine was i as walking behind my 5 year old and he was on his bike, he absolutely knew At every road he stopped on the bike so I could cross the road with him. We had done this walk hundreds of time before and each and every road he would stop and wait for me to catch up and we would cross the road together but this one time he didn’t stop and just continued to ride his bike into the road, I screamed like a fish wife and ran as fast as I could a d dragged him back. Afterwards I said WHY??? He just said “ I forgot Mum”. I’ll never forget it, you cannot trust kids even when they are very sensible they are still just kids x

I was a driver when a child shot across the road in front of me on a bike...she was a bit older than 5 (I think) and had been freewheeling down a hill and just didn't stop at the kerb I have never forgotten the absolute terror that washed over me or her mum screaming. Luckily no one hurt and I didn't get rear ended.
YukoandHiro · 11/09/2021 22:27

Totally unreasonable. Three?! Absolutely not, massive risk and also I'm pretty sure illegal

TaVeryMuchLove · 11/09/2021 22:27

@PumpkinKlNG

I would have rather wet myself than leave my toddler unattended tbh!

Yep. Me too.
WorraLiberty · 11/09/2021 22:27

At age 3 isn't it more the parent's responsibility to keep their child safe rather than have unrealistic expectations of the child to resist going on the slides and immediately do as a parent says? Feels a bit ott to leave over that. If she had been brought back to loos then run off again then maybe but it sounds like OP didn't try that hard to keep her there.

Yes it was the OP's responsibility to keep her child with her in the cubicle.

But the child doesn't get to tell her parent what she's going to do and to blatantly ignore instructions.

So it would've been straight home if she'd done that to me (not that she would've had the chance).

NCBlossom · 11/09/2021 22:28

Also, I had a manic hyperactive very difficult to control 3 year old. So I just held on for dear life or put him in the buggy when we went to the toilet strapped in and left the door open. Which was embarrassing but what could I do, not leaving my toddler!

MirandaWest · 11/09/2021 22:28

Have seen your next post now - I think you should have gone to the toilet first.

I can’t remember when I stopped having my DC in the same cubicle as me (they’re 17 and 15 now) but maybe when they were 7 and 5. We would all stay in the cubicle together

Plumtree391 · 11/09/2021 22:28

I was thinking, op, get someone else - her dad, or a grandparent or both - to talk to her seriously about how she must not run off and away from you when you are out. Sometimes another person's words sink in better than a mother's.

All over now.

AtomHeartMotherOfGod · 11/09/2021 22:29

Damn I voted wrong - YABU! I have changed but not sure if it works.

Like others have said it takes a second for something bad to happen.

You have to get much more strict with her. That is a dangerous level of defiance. I feel exactly as @UserAtLargeAgain about it.

AntiSocialDistancer · 11/09/2021 22:29

Not in a million years would I have left her in the park

Comedycook · 11/09/2021 22:29

Child escapes from toilets and runs away from mum.

Mum is convinced child is sensible enough to remain in play area alone.

Dear lord

obviouslyncforthis · 11/09/2021 22:29

Never in a million years. I'd not be able to live with myself if something went wrong.

I'm glad nothing bad happened.

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