My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

To leave 3yo in park whilst going to the loo?

737 replies

DoormatBob · 11/09/2021 21:55

Not sure if this is an AIBU or more WWYD but was at a rural touristy attraction. When we arrived both DD (3, nearly 4) and me needed the loo. DD went then refused to wait for me and ran out to the play area (toilets were within the play area but not staffed/ticketed).

I told her to wait but she said no and was off, told me she was going on the slides as she legged it away! We've been there before so she knows where she's going.

I had to go to the loo and therefore she played in the park for 2 minutes unsupervised.

AIBU
YES - i should have got her back and made her stay with me.
NO - she is OK for 2 mins, she knows where I am.

What would others do? She is very independent and confident but it's just the safety aspect.

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

4890 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
93%
You are NOT being unreasonable
7%
Tailendofsummer · 11/09/2021 22:11

What will she do next time?

Drumgley55 · 11/09/2021 22:11

This is one of those questions that if you have to ask whether it was a bad idea - it was a bad idea, and you already know that. Apart from the safety aspect, she may now have the impression that your basic needs don’t matter and she can do what she wants in spite of what she was told to do.

Believer99 · 11/09/2021 22:11

You are very lucky she was still on the park.

TaVeryMuchLove · 11/09/2021 22:12

Not sure why you’re asking when you’ve already done this. No way would I consider this for a moment.

NoWordForFluffy · 11/09/2021 22:12

@DoormatBob

Not sure if this is an AIBU or more WWYD but was at a rural touristy attraction. When we arrived both DD (3, nearly 4) and me needed the loo. DD went then refused to wait for me and ran out to the play area (toilets were within the play area but not staffed/ticketed).

I told her to wait but she said no and was off, told me she was going on the slides as she legged it away! We've been there before so she knows where she's going.

I had to go to the loo and therefore she played in the park for 2 minutes unsupervised.

AIBU
YES - i should have got her back and made her stay with me.
NO - she is OK for 2 mins, she knows where I am.

What would others do? She is very independent and confident but it's just the safety aspect.

I don't really get how this could happen as I would've had a child that age in the cubicle with me, so they wouldn't have been able to run off.

You need to parent your child more effectively.
Marmalady75 · 11/09/2021 22:12

Are you insane??? My 6 year old wouldn’t have been left on his own in a park while I went to the toilet! At 3 years old there isn’t a chance in hell I’d have left him alone in a public place full of possible dangers.

LaLaLouella · 11/09/2021 22:14

Nope, not a chance my 3 year old would have played in a park without an adult supervising.

cadburyegg · 11/09/2021 22:14

Yikes no, I wouldn't leave my 3.5 yo, too young. I've left my 6.5 yo sitting at a table in a cafe and at soft play whilst taken my youngest to the toilet but I'm not sure I'd leave him outdoors actually - although he probably wouldn't want to be left anyway.

I've seen people leave their kids similar in ages to mine to nip to the loo with the understanding that the older one should look after the younger one. I wouldn't put that on my eldest

ajja2021 · 11/09/2021 22:14

No chance would I have done that

Readytogogogo · 11/09/2021 22:14

Agree with PPs. Anything could have happened whilst she was unsupervised. I hope there was a consequence for her disregarding you? Otherwise she will never learn.

Retrievemysanity · 11/09/2021 22:14

An issue for me is that you told her to wait and she disobeyed you and you appear to have let her. So if you let this go, why would she listen to anything else you say and that could have very dangerous consequences.

Fivefourthreetwo · 11/09/2021 22:15

It only takes a moment for someone to snatch a child. No way would I do this.

SoftSheen · 11/09/2021 22:15

YABVU. At 3, I would have taken either of my children into the toilet cubicle with me.

Heronwatcher · 11/09/2021 22:15

No way, I don’t even let my 4yr old wait outside the loo, he’s in with me. And if he refused to come with me I’d carry him in and there would be no park. It’s not just weirdos and kidnappers but what if they think better of being there on their own, come and try to find you and then get lost? Possibly walk into a road? I also know many kids who have broken arms/ legs on playgrounds- it’s just not safe if they’re not supervised. Don’t beat yourself up but you do need to set some clear boundaries here.

SleepingStandingUp · 11/09/2021 22:15

@Gardenista

I couldn’t cope with this. When my daughter is complaining about being in a loo cubicle with me I ask her to stand outside the cubicle and put her foot under the door.

How old is she?
UserAtLargeAgain · 11/09/2021 22:16

Even if it was fine to leave them unsupervised, it was not fine that she disobeyed you, ran off, and then you did nothing about it.

HerRoyalRisesAgain · 11/09/2021 22:17

I dont even allow my 6 and 7 year old to do this.

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 11/09/2021 22:17

Not even four? Hell no.

Spongeboob · 11/09/2021 22:18

Really hoping this a wind up. You've got to be fucking joking.

FAQs · 11/09/2021 22:18

I would have bought her straight back and then taken her home and explained the reasons, no compromise.

stonebrambleboy · 11/09/2021 22:19

Okay so everyone says you shouldn't have let your child leave, which is right. Just learn from this and lock her in the cubicle with you in future , no debate.

trappistkepler · 11/09/2021 22:19

christ no never. It is not how comfortable she is with the area or what she is doing, it is more to do with what piece of scum could be lying in wait. What is she going to do if they decide to take her, she's 3? Don't do it again and make her be with you. Gobsmacked.

anon12345678901 · 11/09/2021 22:19

YABU, not a chance I would have done this with my child. Someone can snatch a child so fast. Why risk it?!

Wineandroses3 · 11/09/2021 22:19

No I wouldn’t have let her go. But at the same time I think most parents would say there have been times when their kids were little that something bad could have happened and it was only pure luck it didn’t. Mine was i as walking behind my 5 year old and he was on his bike, he absolutely knew At every road he stopped on the bike so I could cross the road with him. We had done this walk hundreds of time before and each and every road he would stop and wait for me to catch up and we would cross the road together but this one time he didn’t stop and just continued to ride his bike into the road, I screamed like a fish wife and ran as fast as I could a d dragged him back. Afterwards I said WHY??? He just said “ I forgot Mum”. I’ll never forget it, you cannot trust kids even when they are very sensible they are still just kids x

wombforanotherone · 11/09/2021 22:20

I can see how this has happened and doing something similar has totally crossed my mind before. So, not shaming for you for doing it. But unless I was literally pissing or pooing myself I would have gone and got my child and physically brought them back. So many parents don't seem to realise that holding a boundary usually requires physical action. Just because they ignore you/run off etc doesn't mean you let them. We've all made unwise parenting decisions though and im sure you'll not make this one again!

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.