Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave 3yo in park whilst going to the loo?

737 replies

DoormatBob · 11/09/2021 21:55

Not sure if this is an AIBU or more WWYD but was at a rural touristy attraction. When we arrived both DD (3, nearly 4) and me needed the loo. DD went then refused to wait for me and ran out to the play area (toilets were within the play area but not staffed/ticketed).

I told her to wait but she said no and was off, told me she was going on the slides as she legged it away! We've been there before so she knows where she's going.

I had to go to the loo and therefore she played in the park for 2 minutes unsupervised.

AIBU
YES - i should have got her back and made her stay with me.
NO - she is OK for 2 mins, she knows where I am.

What would others do? She is very independent and confident but it's just the safety aspect.

OP posts:
Fundays12 · 12/09/2021 07:27

Nope would have taken her home there and then so she never did it again.

Stormwhale · 12/09/2021 07:30

Good god no. My dc would be told their options - wait nicely with me and go back to the park together or be physically held there and then have to leave and go home. No way in hell would I let my 3 year old out of my sight in a public place.

knittingaddict · 12/09/2021 07:31

So:

  1. It's not a reverse.
  2. Op is a man.
  3. They came on mn with a scenario that 99% of people (well 94% in the case of mn Hmm) would immediately think is unreasonable.
Hmm
CharleyMarley · 12/09/2021 07:34

@Cherryana

3 is too young. I think 6 is too young. I think 7 with an older brother or sister A sensible 8 would be fine I think.
100% this
SchoolGossipWoes · 12/09/2021 07:34

Gerry, is that you?

usernotfound0000 · 12/09/2021 07:36

I wouldn't have done it. DD is 6.5 and I've only just started to let her go to the loo alone, and only if I can see the toilet entrance from where I am.

rattlemehearties · 12/09/2021 07:39

OP please understand that it's good parenting to give children firm boundaries. It makes them feel safe. You need to be consistent. Some things are non negotiable eg staying with you in the loos. No need for grand "punishment", the natural consequence of her refusing to stay with you/running off is you go home and explain why.

DysmalRadius · 12/09/2021 07:41

After she left the cubicle which I should've dealt with clearly I panicked a bit and as mentioned to avoid drawing unwanted attention let her do what she wanted.

Whose unwanted attention were you trying to avoid?

letsmakethishappen · 12/09/2021 07:50

Takes a sec for a kid to be abducted your poor child

daisychain01 · 12/09/2021 07:54

@Gorl

There isn’t a parent in the world who hasn’t had a moment where they think ‘that wasn’t the best way to handle that’.

Nothing bad happened, your daughter is totally fine, you won’t do this again. It’s all ok. Every parent learns as they go.

Some people on this thread are being unreasonably harsh.

In the situation as described, no people are not unreasonably harsh.

This is where MN is at its best, because the plain talking can potentially save a child from a disaster in the making, no oh dear never mind, you weren't to know #bekind all that tosh. Straight forward, candid and spelling out reality.

KaptainKaveman · 12/09/2021 08:07

@cunningartificer

She’s three. It only takes a moment for a child to be snatched or to fall off a high slide or run off where you can’t find her. You shouldn’t leave her alone. She needs to learn she can’t run off when you tell her to stay with you. Take her into the loo with you.
100% this.
Hotpinkangel19 · 12/09/2021 08:08

I have a 3 year old and would rather wet myself in public than let my daughter leave the toilets without me.

Sherrystrull · 12/09/2021 08:08

I'm assuming that she didn't wash her hands as she ran straight from the cubicle to the park...

So much wrong with this post. Tantrums happen. Ultimately, your job is to keep your child safe. You are the parent and know best.

KeflavikAirport · 12/09/2021 08:14

My garden gives onto the village playground. A couple of days ago I had to take my 5 yr old in for a wee, leaving my 7 yr old playing. In the 60 seconds he was alone he fell off the climbing frame and got a massive scrape across his back.

itsgettingwierd · 12/09/2021 08:14

I'd have followed her, picked her up, taken her to loo with me and then home.

She would have been to,d that in absolutely no uncertain terms if she refused point blank to follow an instruction and ran off again she'd be back on reins like the baby's she's behaving like.

Stop this now or you're going to have a brat on your hands in a few years time.

Macncheeseballs · 12/09/2021 08:17

The likelihood of anyone snatching a child in the time it takes you to go to the toilet is statistically very low

prideslide · 12/09/2021 08:19

3yr olds are still babies! They're a complete liability, I am pretty chill but would never leave a 3yr old unattended in a public space.

BreatheAndFocus · 12/09/2021 08:22

No way would I do that! I don’t even do it with my youngest who’s 6. It takes seconds for an accident to happen or for a child to be abducted. I don’t get all the fuss about your bladder. I have issues too and need fairly frequent loo visits, but never in a million years would I let a child go off like that. She should never have left the cubicle.

She’s not independent, she disobeyed you. You don’t have to raise your voice to say No. She needs to learn to stay with you in such circumstances, and I’d be practising that when you went out (at a time when you’re not too desperate to pee).

JustLyra · 12/09/2021 08:23

@Macncheeseballs

The likelihood of anyone snatching a child in the time it takes you to go to the toilet is statistically very low
That may be one of the lower risks, but an unattended 3yo outside where she could climb, fall or leave the park is bloody dangerous. Even if the chances of being snatched or harmed by an adult is statistically low.
Tigerwhocameforsupper · 12/09/2021 08:23

Defiantly wouldn’t let her on the park on her own.

However those saying she should have been in the cubicle: my 4 year old has been standing outside the cubicle for the past year. Usually we both go to the toilet in cubicle next to each other and if he finishes first (which he usually does as I have his 2 year old sister in with me who also has to go) then he waits outside my door.

Most cubicles don’t physically fit a grown adult and 2 children so one of them needs to wait outside and I obviously need the 2 year old with me.

liveforsummer · 12/09/2021 08:28

Hmm, I might have allowed it if she'd asked, there was no queue so I'd definitely just be a minute, however due to the running off when told not to more than once I'd have probably marched her straight back home. That's not on and not safe that she refuses to listen to you in these circumstances

Crossfitwidow · 12/09/2021 08:28

Definitely not.

Threearm · 12/09/2021 08:30

She is 3, it's dangerous. That stunt would have had her taken home

CherieBabySpliffUp · 12/09/2021 08:33

How did your child's mother react to you letting your DD wander off??

Cuddlyrottweiler · 12/09/2021 08:36

It's done now so stop beating yourself up about it. It was dangerous, but she's fine. And you are right, a man trying to force a young girl into the toilet could have attracted attention you weren't prepared for.

Have a proper conversation with her about it. How dangerous it was for her, the position it put you in. That it must never happen again or you will leave the park. And prepare yourself for next time putting your foot down.

Swipe left for the next trending thread