To ask why you finished a friendship?

[hahahayoumustbejoking]

Seems a lot of friendships going to the wall on MN. Got me thinking of ones I've ended.

1. When I was 19 and poor I showed an older and well off friend at college a bag in a shop I adored. Said I was saving up for it and even though it would take another few months I had my heart set on it. She turned up with it at college on the Monday, breezily swinging it on her arm. Never the same after that.

1. Had a niche holiday planned with a friend who then changed her mind and we cancelled and the whole thing fizzled out. Found out later she'd gone with others to the same venue instead.

1. Saw friend coming on to my then boyfriend (now DH). He was oblivious but I'd seen her do this to others. Desperate to be the most sexually attractive person to every man. Just thought 'can't be arsed with this anymore".

Anyone else got examples worth sharing?

Another friend became an MLM hun bot. The friendship was drifting anyway, but when she got in touch full of charm and how friends ought to support each other and any business ventures they may have and wanted me to buy stuff only to never give me the time off day again as the product wasn't for me, that was the sign we were done.

A long term friend chipped away with negativity and sneaky put downs for over ten years.

Anything I did she shit on. I did a Masters and she said it was because I had nothing else in my life (she was smug married and I was single)

She spent my hen party criticising my new in laws and said my life would be a misery

It took until I had my first dc and I couldn't face seeing her and said I didn't feel well (emergency c section) she said she had a harder labour than me and rang my mother and say outside my house.

I just was sick if the pettiness and jealously.

1. A very one sided friendship and I realised she was using me heavily.
2. Realised he was a complete narcissist and that he had gaslighted me for months.
3. She ghosted me then expected me to be fine with her deciding to come back into my life despite ignoring me for so long.

I probably have a few as I don't often do long term friendships. I just can't be bothered.

There was a neighbour and mum from school who I thought had become a friend. We went out for dinner just the two of us. Not the first time. She's very quiet and can be difficult to speak to but I liked her company. I was probably waffling alot
Suddenly out of no where she made a snide remark about making 'small talk' which was obviously a dig. It was very awkward. We went home not long after and never spoke again for more than a few minutes!. She just came across as so weird after that.

Another was a group we met when the DCs were young. Never have I met such a competitive bunch. Always boasting about money or what geniuses their children are. We moved house and gradually cut then off. No regrets. More than happy to leave them to their dinner parties and talking about posh schools and house extensions .

Lastly, a woman I knew for 20 yrs. Was her bridesmaid etc. Within a year of her wedding she stopped answering our calls (a group of uni friends) and kept making excuses to not see us. To be fair she dumped us first . But I sent her a text saying I wasn't going to contact her again etc to finish it off. I felt very hurt by her behaviour and needed to have closure as they say. Plus I like to have the last word

I was lonely, enjoyed a regular dog walk and a breakfast with another lonely school mum. We shared a few quirky interests. My DD had an autism diagnosis and since her DD was on the waiting list, took her as my plus one on courses, meetings etc.

The friendship became unbalanced, I realised she coverted 'stuff' and always had to have the best chicken coop/car/bell tent. She'd be flattered then disparaging if anyone duplicated, offended if you didn't.

The walks became all about me listening, her offloading, no interest in any aspect of my life - career, health, children or garden. Just literally hours on hers.

The final, final straw was hearing about her 15year old US honeymoon again when I'd just got back from the states and utter failure to ask about that or a very visible, serious, health issue.

A few months earlier they'd pressed on me their spare car when ours was absent for 24hours. The Husband claimed I'd scratched the hatchback cill and insisted the panel was resprayed not even attempted a tcut and polish (I'm in the trade, he's admin for a cushion company) It was exactly where their portly dog scrambled into the car. Cost £150 , on a 14 year old car. Seemed worth it to walk away without local gossip following me forever.

I often see stuff I know she'd love and genuinely care how her troubled DD is doing but I never contact now because it was only a friendship for me for a season, while I was useful to her for a reason.

I have more. I thought I would. Tolerance is not my strength.

Met a friend through work. Got on very well. We went out and she got so drunk I ended up holding her hair whilst she vomited. Second time we went out and she for drunk again and started crying about her sister having a baby. Shortly after I changed jobs and blocked her. Who needs the drama. We were both 40 at the time .

Met a mum friend who was very nice but a bit controlling. After each meet up she'd whisk her diary out to book in the next date. If I said I was taking the children somewhere she would invite herself. She was also always the telling my children off. I just stopped calling her.

I have to say I get the 'friend ick' easily. I find people very annoying very easily.

I lost a good friend when something happened between our children and the school raised it with her (without my knowledge) in a really insensitive way. I don’t think it was reconcilable really as my child had to come first but I do still miss her. It will be a difficult anniversary for her in a few days and I have been thinking of her. I wondered about reaching out but too much water under the bridge too long ago I think.

Yes had a friend for 7 years, introduced her to another circle of my friends. Almost instantly she dropped me and was all over them, would arrange to host stuff when she knew I'd be out of the picture then plaster stuff all over FB about the amazing time with her amazing friends. I was so hurt, not because she liked them and enjoyed joining in, but because the moment she was "in" she completely dismissed me like a risk irrelevance after 7 years. If I hosted she'd turn up at my house but virtually ignore me to smarm over the cool people. I stopped bothering at all.

She was always a bit paranoid and dramatic. I loved her and still wish her well from afar but just couldn't deal any more and realised I didn't have to.

1. my best friend from primary school and I parted company aged 45. A selfish person who used and abused me, talked behind my back, tried to come between me and my partner, picked me up and dropped me over the years for cooler friends. I'm sorry to say she's an alcoholic, married to an alcoholic who has raped her more than once. It's sad but I'm so happy that she's not part of my life anymore.
2. a long standing friend who only got in touch when she wanted something, very negative and always talks badly of others, judging constantly. Lied to my face about something fairly trivial but involving a family member. I cut all contact.

Life is so much better without toxic people taking up my time.

A very good friend from uni. Stayed close via long distances etc. She got engaged in Australia and woke me up at 6am to tell me. I was not as enthusiastic as I should have been as it was a Saturday morning and I was tired and hungover and she was understandably hurt. Then she wanted me to be a bridesmaid, fly to Australia, pay for my own dress etc etc and couldn't understand why this was difficult for me - I was getting married in my home country 2 months after her.

Obviously I desperately wanted to go to the wedding and I felt terrible about being less than enthusiastic when she called but even after I apologised for the call and explained why I simply couldn't find the money nor the leave to fly to the other side of the world, she kept accusing me of being selfish etc etc etc. I appreciate that she was hurt but I honestly didn't know what else to do - I had apologised, explained etc.

So I told her there was no point continuing the friendship. A few years later I reached out to her, only to get her complaining AGAIN about my less than enthusiastic 6am response and unreasonable behaviour re not attending her wedding. I learnt my lesson.

What was interesting is that while I have many fond memories of the good times, I've also remembered a lot of other behaviours where she was completely and totally unreasonable that actually, in retrospect, should have been friendship ending starting while we were still an uni and carrying on for all the years up until the relationship did end.

I finished one recently as she's a covert narcissist, missed all the signs!! Lockdown did me a huge favour and I went NC.

I think I get 'friend ick' easily too! I have dropped an old uni friend when I realised that for the entirety of our relationship he had done the friend equivalent of 'negging' me with little undermining comments all the time, never treating me with respect.

An ex boss - we went for dinner after I left the company. I was expecting a professional 'networking' kind of catch up but she got far too drunk, massively overshared about her sex life, extra marital affairs and masturbatory habits (!) and was resentful about my new job. I didn't suggest a follow up!

Friend knew I was saving up for a particular car so she went out and brought it but didn’t tell me because she knew I’d ‘be jealous’.
Instead she just turned up at the pub one night in it when we were all sat outside in the beer garden - next to the carpark. Cow.

Friend of 20 years called me a fat cow in front of other people. I was 8 months pregnant. Witch.

No friends are better than those friends.

Too long a story, but I eventually realised after 25 years that while I was always happy and supportive of my friend, she actively begrudged every single bit of joy and happiness that I experienced.

One because she was gossiping about me, she’d done it before and I’d called her out. It obviously didn’t stop her!
Second was because she a complete CF and had, what I now see, narcissistic tendencies. Plus she was as thick as shit.

I ended up being employed by my friend. Big mistake. She built a business on my creativity (she was 'all the gear and no idea') and then sacked me at the start of COVID. There was no real reason for it - her business was bomb-proof during the pandemic, and she's come out of it wealthier than when she went in.

What the space allowed me to realise though was how sly she was. She had a bad habit, for example, of copying (hair, clothing) and then feigning surprise if someone called her on it.

She also tried very hard to trawl through my friends list and to befriend them herself. Having seen her do it before, and then push the original contact out, I was under no illusions as to what she would do it given the chance.

She was CONSTANTLY sharing confidences passed to her by her other friends. It took me far longer than I'd like to admit to realise she was probably doing the same to me.

All of this wouldn't bother me as much as the revisionist bullshit she now spouts to mutual acquaintances, that she can't understand why we're not friends anymore. Disingenuous bollocks.

Oooh, that was quite cathartic!

Took a number of years but my 'friend' used to ditch me on a night out, we'd plan things in advance then the day before would cancel (trips away, concerts etc). We used to go to football matches together and she'd cancel a number of times the day before but would then sell my ticket before telling me (or even asking if I wanted to go on my own or take someone else!) but then wouldn't give me my money back, the usual, I'll transfer you/ I'll give you next time etc... the money got to around £300 and I had to speak to her parents (we were 20 at the time, plus I was really good friends with her parents) and they had to pay off her debts. She then did it to a lot of other mutual friends so confirmed I wasn't going crazy!

1. Don’t think she liked me very much and I would be the butt of every joke and every silly thing id done as a teenager was bought up to put me down. Binned her.

1. Best friend in the whole world, like a sister to me. After a period of illness where I bent over backwards to support her, she became self absorbed, selfish, negative, toxic and treated my family terribly. Wasn’t hard to cut her off. She’s on Mumsnet so if you read this and know this is you…rest assured I don’t regret it 😊

A friend got me a job, said it was great etc. When I got there it was truly awful. Boss bullying her and me, terrible atmosphere.

When it became clear she hadn't been upfront it made things v awkward. I didn't stand for the bullying and stood up for myself. That probs put her in an awks positions.

I ended a very co dependent relationship with my best friend who I saw every day - lives across the road. Actually I didn't end it, I self sabotaged it because she was playing n and simply bad for me and bad for my relationship with my bf.
It took me a long time but I learned I have to put myself first. It still hurts sometimes but ultimately it's for the best

DH and I ended a 10 yr plus friendship with someone fairly recently.
He showed his true colours and royally stabbed us in the back, used us to finance his business under the guise of DH being an equal partner.
Thankfully we lost nothing except time as we had put safeguards in place to protect our finances, but it really hurt how he treated us.
We'd consoled him through a relationship break up, fed him and made sure he was OK when no one else bothered, put him up when he had nowhere else to go and stuck up for him when other people told us he was a wrong 'un.
We were wrong, he is the biggest dickhead I've ever known and I hope the fleas of a thousand camels infest his pubes and his arms become to short to scratch the itch.

1. sort-of friend faked having cancer to show off how brilliant she is at overcoming problems alongside pretending to be a mature student doing an undergrad degree. Also faked using manifestation and crystals and essential oils to heal said cancer.
2. said that people who have miscarriages bring it upon themselves and should be given jail time
3. constantly criticised my lack of religous beliefs and eventually became unbearable as she sent me bibles and religious books in the post. She also got in touch with my local church and got them to visit me and invite me to a service- they also didn't stop pestering me.

Her husband sent me sexually harassing texts and she didn't think it was a big deal because "they have an open relationship".

I had a friend who moved to my area and knew no-one. We took her under our wing (my family) and saw her a lot.
During Covid lockdown, she phoned me and spent an hour on the hone complaining about Covid. lockdown, working from home, her neighbours, her sick mother and her boss. I said one sentence' I feel really low about the lockdown. She declared she could not handle me complaining (!!!!) and hung up. I have never called her back and that was over a year ago. I realise what a emotional vampire she was.

Another was me being dumped, I realised she befriended me because I was single and had a great home in centralish London. I moved to a less convenient location outside of London and she binned me! I could no longer provide her with a convenient crash pad for nights out on the town. Pat/Kate- if you read this, you were a using bitch.
I laughed my head off.