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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is identifying as an age really a thing now?

252 replies

FourteenSixteenTwentyTwo · 09/09/2021 15:28

My friend works as a lecturer in a collage. There have been quite a few different identities, but at least two have identified as different age groups - a woman in her 40 identified as a 2 year old and another has 'several' identities, man and woman, ages 2-30.

I'd like to say I'm making it up, but I'm not. And I'm really not sure if it's supposed to be ironic or deadly serious. It must be ironic, right?

OP posts:
Original poster
FourteenSixteenTwentyTwo · 09/09/2021 19:04

@RightSaidPleb

The tone of this thread and the ridiculing of those with potentially mental health issues is a little unpleasant.

My mother spent her life working with people who have dissociative identity disorder. It is a horrific thing to live with and mostly brought on by absolutely unimaginable trauma that you wouldn't wish on anyone.

She had various patients all who had a variety of 'identities' in their system that were mostly created to protect their child self from whatever trauma they experienced

The 'kinky furriness' asside, we don't know these peoples mental state and it is entirely possible to 'identify' as someone of a different age as part of your system.

It is not as simple as posting on mumsnet 'ohhh, I identify as a 25 year old then 😂'

You know, you are completely right about people with DID and to stop making a joke about it. I always think a good example of this is Split and actually it's considerably more harming that good.

But do you think people have been diagnosed with DID would be making light of it like this as an 'identity' or would they just be stating it as an illness (likely commenting on the reasonable adjustments questions)?

I don't really know any young people but I do know ideologies are strong around young people (I definitely saw the benefits of communism when I was younger, for example). Coupled with the fact that young adults are trying to calve out an identity (though the word seems to mean something else nowadays) it's very likely some are jumping on things they don't understand and not knowing the full implications of what they are doing.

OP posts:
Proudboomer · 09/09/2021 19:05

@Naunet

You’re all such terrible bigots. It’s all fun for you, but no one would ever go through the hell of being transage just to get their pension early or to be served in a pub. That would just never happen…
Yes but they might to get access to young children
MarleneDietrichsSmile · 09/09/2021 19:06

Yes, or take part in U18 or U11 sports events

Play rugby for the U11

tootiredtospeak · 09/09/2021 19:08

Fuck me yes going forward I will identify as a 25 year old with no kids...where should I stash them 😁

QueenPeary · 09/09/2021 19:18

rightsaidpleb of course being seriously mentally ill is not a laughing matter and someone who really struggles with an identity disorder must really suffer.

But people are now adopting multiple personalities as an “identity”, basically making it up and wanting special treatment. And all this, and the other stuff like identifying as a small child, is no wonder when people who claim to be the opposite sex get taken seriously. It opens the door for a whole load of fantasy-driven identities adopted by people who want to feel special, escape from themselves or at worst, access victims.

Of course people will mock and joke “well I identify as a millionaire’ or whatever - they’re pointing out How ludicrous it is.

DdraigGoch · 09/09/2021 19:20

@FourteenSixteenTwentyTwo

I really don't get the '2 year old' thing. It seems to be more boundaries or self-created humiliation. Without knowing the person though, I'm guessing it's one of those 'vanity' identities that actually makes no difference at all - you just say you are so you are.
Or are they doing it as a wind up?
Porcupineintherough · 09/09/2021 19:23

@MarleneDietrichsSmile

I hope it is serious

It will make people rethink the trans issue

^^This
Original poster
FourteenSixteenTwentyTwo · 09/09/2021 19:40

@DdraigGoch It's equally likely. But I really don't know. It's either people are taking 'identity' culture and moving it on for personal gain or people making a huge joke out of it. Or there really are some people out there who truly believe it?

But who I am I to deny belief in the case of reality?

OP posts:
LakieLady · 09/09/2021 19:45

I identify as 23.

My knees have their own opinion though, and they identify as 86.

MissCruellaDeVil · 09/09/2021 19:51

I'm 24 yet identify as an 85yo lady with my back this week!

BeckyWithTheGoodHair5629456 · 09/09/2021 21:20

I'm 37 and I am going to identify as being 26. Damn straight.

DaphneDeloresMoorhead · 09/09/2021 21:27

If we can identify as different ages then I wish to identify as retired

SelfIdentifiedOAP · 09/09/2021 21:47

It was only a matter of time, innit.
Identity is King now. Personally, I'm impatiently waiting for my turn to get my pension.

Raggedyanabell · 09/09/2021 21:47

Err @MNHQ why was my post deleted??

Naunet · 10/09/2021 08:03

Yes but they might to get access to young children

Just to clarify, my post was purely sarcasm!

sst1234 · 10/09/2021 08:17

First world problems for people who don’t have anything else they can seek bleeding heart attention for.

Theluggage15 · 10/09/2021 08:18

This is the path we’re going down now, if you can ignore biology and pretend people can change sex, then why can’t you ignore biology for other things? Age, weight etc. It’s literally about how you feel now.

forinborin · 10/09/2021 08:37

but am seriously considering making my work email signature pronoun 'it'. I wonder if they'd comment?
I know someone who got into trouble for putting he/his into the signature, while being a very feminine woman, married with children. Well, not a massive trouble as in disciplinary, but was told off for mockery.

Yes, it was done as a statement, but there was literally nothing else - just adding pronouns when the company issued a guidance for everyone to use them in signatures.

KittenKong · 10/09/2021 08:40

I thought everyone was ‘who they said they were’. Who were they to say that Marie Hehim wasn’t being entirely truthful?

TableFlowerss · 10/09/2021 08:43

@RightSaidPleb

The tone of this thread and the ridiculing of those with potentially mental health issues is a little unpleasant.

My mother spent her life working with people who have dissociative identity disorder. It is a horrific thing to live with and mostly brought on by absolutely unimaginable trauma that you wouldn't wish on anyone.

She had various patients all who had a variety of 'identities' in their system that were mostly created to protect their child self from whatever trauma they experienced

The 'kinky furriness' asside, we don't know these peoples mental state and it is entirely possible to 'identify' as someone of a different age as part of your system.

It is not as simple as posting on mumsnet 'ohhh, I identify as a 25 year old then 😂'

They may well identify as a 2 year old on their reality but clearly they aren’t a 2 year old, therefore you’re right, it can only be associated with some kind of MH issue. A well adjusted, rational adult wouldn’t say they identified as a child, unless it was for attention, which could be argued that they also have some kind of MH issues, but to a lesser degree.

At the end of the day, what is accepted by the wider society, is a good indicator of reality.

Society can be forced to pretend that a 50 year old woman is a 2 year old and acknowledge her as such, but it’s still not reality other than to the person identifying as whatever they chose….

These people need to be helped, offered support etc in the same way someone with an eating disorder would be helped. Someone with anorexia sees a fat person in the mirror. Obviously that’s not the reality based on the definitions of being. They are very much the opposite. No body would be encouraged to say ‘you identify as being fat, well let’s treat you like you are fat then’ that would be unheard of.

There’s a universal agreement of what reality is. At one point anyone that suggested reality was wrong was deemed to have MH issues. Now however they are encouraged and society is expected to fit in with Antibes version of reality by fails to take in to account any pitfalls.

You’re a 45 year old man and want to identify as a 15 year old boy? That’s fine. We’ll encourage society to accept this and we’ll ignore the potential harm such as having a relationship with a child of a similar age….
After all if we’re supposed to accept it as reality then that would make it ok to have a relationship with 15 year old! If that would not be ok then it’s it’s not real in the first place then so what’s the point in society having to pretend it is?!?!…..

NashvilleQueen · 10/09/2021 08:51

What won't be tolerated (quite rightly) is people using self-ID to say they're black or Asian when they're not. That seems to be a line that it's not ok to cross. But why is that any different to the other areas of self-ID? If I can't self-ID myself into one thing that biologically I'm not how can I do it for others? I haven't yet seen a cogent explanation for why one (sex, age) is possible but the other isn't.

mustlovegin · 10/09/2021 09:02

But why is that any different to the other areas of self-ID?

It has been done also

www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/dec/13/rachel-dolezal-i-wasnt-identifying-as-black-to-upset-people-i-was-being-me

MumW · 10/09/2021 09:08

It's tempting for me to identify as a 70 year old and demand to be allowed to retire.
I've thought this too although only to claim my pension and other benefits.
I'd love to get on a bus and say I identify as a 70 year old, please give up your seat.

GoogleWhacked · 10/09/2021 09:16

Thank you @TableFlowerss. I found that very thought-provoking.

toconclude · 10/09/2021 09:34

@MarleneDietrichsSmile

I hope it is serious

It will make people rethink the trans issue

No it won't unless they are already biased against them and looking for excuses like you. Also I suspect OP has similar Reasons for posting this.