To ask what was the most prolific thing you have done to change your life for the better?

[Dotdotlineline]

I'm in a bit of a funk today so want to know what other people do when faced with an idea of changing something.

Has anyone ever made a drastic or even a small change for the better? Whether that be spiritually / money wise or with themselves?

I keep thinking about the notion that 'life is what you make of it' and questioning where I am going wrong.

@LaBellina

Leaving my abusive ex.

Going NC with the dysfunctional family members that groomed me perfectly for types of men as said ex, trough childhood abuse that continued troughout adulthood. Now that I’m a mum myself, I can’t deal with that shit anymore and I went NC. Proud of myself but still I feel doubts nearly on a daily basis but I hope this gets better in time.

Oh wow! Well done 👏👏👏💪😍

@lazylinguist

Impressive story, *@DonaPatrizia*! You have overcome a lot and sound very determined. You should be proud of yourself! Don't be hard on yourself for taking a while to make changes- many people never manage to make those kinds of changes. It's like what they say to slow runners "You're still lapping everyone who stayed on their sofa!"- Btw I was a nervous driver too. I'm mostly fine with it now, as long as I know exactly where I'm going!

Thank you. It means a lot to read that. So many brave women on here. Well done everyone.

@DonaPatrizia

I’ve done several things that have changed my life for the better. I started off very poor, dad was unemployed and a violent alcoholic, we lived in a very deprived area and my parents were very unhappy with their lives and each other. I went to uni then moved to London, got a good job and bought a flat all under my own steam, no help from parents obviously! - this was the 90s so it was easier than it would be now, though still not all that easy for someone like me! Despite being professionally successful I was a very troubled young woman, a chain smoker and probably also an alcoholic like my dad in my twenties and thirties. Addicted to the wrong men, too. One day I decided I had to stop or I would blow everything. I gave up booze and fags, and the unsuitable men, went cold turkey and never looked back. Took up running, did the marathon and I still do a couple of half marathons a year at the now old age of 59. Met my husband and that helped turn things around, he was also a drinker but he packed in too and we are alcohol-free since 2004. I did well at my career and we bought a second home in the country, both mortgages paid off. Financially we are comfortable. I cared for him when he had cancer as well as taking on a big promotion at work, which I could never have done when I was drinking. This will seem bonkers I expect but I’d say the hardest thing I’m doing now is conquering my phobia of driving. I do have a licence and have had for a long time, but I hated and avoided it for years. When my husband was desperately ill it was the impetus to try to beat the fear. I’m still a nervous driver so haven’t succeeded yet, but I am determined - I’m having refresher lessons and bought my first car at my age, I’m like a teenager about it. What I would say is that there is no magic bullet. My life is far better than it would have been if I’d remained on a self destructive path and I’ve made decisions that have helped me battle some of my demons such as low self esteem. But I haven’t beaten those demons, they are just held at bay - sometimes I still struggle with feeling inadequate and scared. I also have many regrets it took me so long to make some of the changes, so my advice is crack on!

Wow. Loads of inspiring posts here but this is my favourite. You sound amazing!

Reported my childhood abuser to the police.
Went NC with my immediate family after they turned against me for reporting my abuser
Had counselling
Did a post grad, which meant promotion at work

Life has actually been pretty good and very positive.

Big sufferer of anxiety and depression, for me it was realising what I liked (for me chinese and Korean tv programs) and embracing them. Which in turn led to a new genre of music to listen to and a new culture I actually fell in love with. The fact my friends embrace this change with hardly a bat of an eye helps but helped me calm down so much.

Quit my long term job that had a great pension but awful management to go back to college and retrain with no guarantee of a job at the end at the age of 47.

Dotdotlineline, I got divorced!

@Lucyccfc68

Reported my childhood abuser to the police. Went NC with my immediate family after they turned against me for reporting my abuser Had counselling Did a post grad, which meant promotion at work

Life has actually been pretty good and very positive.

Well done and unfortunately thats common for families to do that but god knows how/why!? Much love and total respect to you 😘🙏

[quote starlilly88]@FatCatThinCat I have recently been researching Sweden, always wanted to live in a Nordic country. Don't think we'd be allowed in now though

I want to do lots of things on this thread:
Therapy (but scared)
Live in another country (but I have teens)
Start a career in my 40s (been a SAHM for too long and no one will employ me)
Sort out my aching back (keep trying and getting fobbed off)[/quote]
Retrain and/or start up your own business which will give you confidence. Go girl! 👩🏻🥂

@Dotdotlineline

Wow I didn't make a thread to be belittled and mocked for using the wrong word. It was a genuine mistake and now I feel utterly embarrassed and stupid

Ignore the pedants.

I’m mighty glad you started this thread as it’s just what I needed to read today. Thank you for starting it!

@Elvisismycat

Wow This thread feels like it's speaking to me! I started the gym at the grand old age of 51. I was what is called ' skinny fat' Big boobs, apple shaped, skinny arms ( but with saggy bingo wings ) and stick legs, flattish bum... Since joining the gym 5 months ago .. ive totally transformed my shape.. My only regret is that I didn't join sooner.

Am similar to you and am exercise averse after Covid ! How many times a week, how long and what exercises worked for you? Xx

I accepted a job offer that meant relocating 3 hours from where I’d always lived, but in turn enabled us to have the lifestyle we’d always dreamt of but never thought possible. I’ve been at the company a little over 2 years now and have achieved two promotions in that time, and almost a year ago we moved into our dream home.

It’s not all been plain sailing, and was bloody terrifying at times but I’m so glad we took the leap of faith and made the move.

@Suspicioussam

For me it was yoga and minimalism. I would just like to say that I have recently slipped away from this mindset and this thread has reminded me to focus on it again. It was unbelievably refreshing to finally aspire to having less rather than having more. I started following blogs and facegroups where people were intentionally downsizing their lives and their homes. It made me realise that what I was aspiring to I already had, it just needed perfecting. It needed streamlining. I made a friend around this time who had very little of material value (small 2 bed flat with 2 kids, very little spare cash) but she was wonderful, her home was warm and comforting, her outlook positive and infectious. I strongly believe that changing your mindset can revolutionise your life, and there is so many books to read and blogs, you can really throw yourself into a new way of living.

As a capitalist society we are groomed to buy buy buy and be rich to be happy but honestly all the wealthy people I know are stressed and miserable!!! 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Dotdotlineline

I'm in a bit of a funk today so want to know what other people do when faced with an idea of changing something.

Has anyone ever made a drastic or even a small change for the better? Whether that be spiritually / money wise or with themselves?

I keep thinking about the notion that 'life is what you make of it' and questioning where I am going wrong.

For me, exercise & taking supplements. I literally feel that life is easier for me than it is for other people because of it. It's not as if I've had an easy life, either. Also never using social media which seems to have freed me from the endless grief most people seem to experience on there.

Stopped being a sahm and went back to work I love it nobody calls me mummy there I'm a person in my own right it's great got a wee bit of my mojo back

I had weight loss surgery
Lost 8 stone
Got my life back 😊

I go 4 times a week ..
Joined bettergym as its only £22: a month ... I do 15 x 4 reps on all the machines.. except the rowing or running machines.. I dont use those cos I walk to the gym so that's my warm up x

Went back to university and then work after nearly 12 years as a stay at home mum.

I don’t do social media, Facebook/Instagram/Twitter. It’s terrible for your mental health.

Simplify simplify simplify. I don’t want complexity/drama/power struggles & I’ve cut out of my life the people who thrive on these things. They literally exhaust me.

Gone vegetarian. I feel so so so much healthier for it. And I feel more at peace with myself. I never was at ease with the moral dilemmas associated with eating meat.

Had my second son. That’s given me deep contentment. I don’t need to have any more babies now; my family feels complete. I worked bloody hard to create the family & now I’m able to be at peace, whatever comes next.

Thanks for this! And well done!
I’m thinking of doing a similar thing and keep dragging my heels in case it all goes wrong but I think I just need to go for it!

TomFuckery, I forgot that one! 20 weeks out of gastric bypass, it’s amazing isn’t it!

My MN suffered over the last year and I was told by a dear friend that they thought I needed help, all I knew was that I was desperately sad, hated work, cried most days, overthought every tiny thing but I still didn’t see the entire picture of what I was becoming….. so I went to the doctors the day I was spoken to and I’m eternally grateful to this person for saving me.
I still struggle but with the right ADs these struggles are less intense and are slightly more bearable

Reported my childhood abuser to the police. Went NC with my immediate family after they turned against me for reporting my abuser Had counselling Did a post grad, which meant promotion at work.

That is so brave. They do say the best revenge is living well, which you qre doing. Your abuser and family will have to live with being terrible people.

Started using an app called Curable for help with chronic pain, and beginning a journalspeak practice (raw journaling, developed by an amazing woman called Nicole Sachs). Life changing!

Not as big as many of the changes others have posted about on here, but I’m another one who has embraced minimalism and I’ve found it’s massively improved my life. I haven’t done it as drastically as some do, but enough to make a big difference to our lives. We have savings now that we don’t fritter money on crap. We have more money to spend on experiences. The house is more organised. Housework is easier and less time consuming. I’m calmer and less stressed and don’t feel the need to compare my life to others. It’s better for the environment. It started with decluttering Marie Kondo style a few years ago and I’ve never looked back.