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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what was the most prolific thing you have done to change your life for the better?

355 replies

Dotdotlineline · 09/09/2021 13:08

I'm in a bit of a funk today so want to know what other people do when faced with an idea of changing something.

Has anyone ever made a drastic or even a small change for the better? Whether that be spiritually / money wise or with themselves?

I keep thinking about the notion that 'life is what you make of it' and questioning where I am going wrong.

OP posts:
coffeeandjuice · 09/09/2021 13:48

Well what do you want to do? What's that nagging voice that occasionally pops up saying? Travel? Set up your own business? Start a yoga class? What ever it is just go and do it. You'll never meet a person who regretted going for what they really wanted, even if they failed. You meet plenty of people who regret not going for it though.

I know this because I spent 10 years too scared to go for what I wanted and the moment I quit my job, my whole life and restarted (new country, new job, over a year of travelling) I was free and it made me so much happier than I ever was before. Things just work out.

SophieKat1982 · 09/09/2021 13:51

Not quite the same but my perspective on life changed dramatically after my parents died. I began to notice great beauty in very small, every day sights and began feeling lucky to be alive to see and enjoy them. I don’t need or want big or expensive things. It’s the simple things in life that matter. I am grateful for every day that I and my loved ones are in good health. I used to live in a town where what you possessed was far more important that how nice you were. I don’t miss it one bit.

Tana433 · 09/09/2021 13:52

I lost a significant amount of weight before i got married in 2014 (over 3 1/2 stone) and i just remember how well i felt. Not only looked better but felt better too. 7 years on most of it is back and i feel a bit stuck in a rut. Im 50 next year and i really dont want to still feel like this by then but i cant get motivated to do something about it. Lockdown really didnt help because i didnt go anywhere or see anybody so it was easy to stay in and eat but i cant use that as an excuse for much longer.

lazylinguist · 09/09/2021 13:54

Exercise. I took up running post-dc, which lowered my high bp and helped get rid of my post-natal anxiety. I don't run much now because my knees don't like it any more, but I still do Parkrun once a week and now do weights and yoga on alternate days and a quick tai chi routine every day (while the kettle's boiling Grin).

The recent revelation for me is that I get more exercise done by religiously doing 20 mins of something every day (in addition to a brisk dog walk) than trying to commit to a weekly class or do longer sessions. And it means I get the mental health boost every single day.

AlfonsoTheMango · 09/09/2021 13:55

Not sure that "prolific" is the right word. Do you mean "profound"?

For me: If you don't pay my salary, aren't related to me or aren't someone I choose to spend time with, I don't care what you think of me. Very freeing.

You don't like me? That's your loss!

You like me? Great! Chances are you're someone I like spending time with.

Themadcatparade · 09/09/2021 13:57
  1. Gone vegan. Massive change in health, energy, weight and did wonders for my happiness too. Also made me a lot more open minded and conscious of the earth.
  1. Started saving - I have a couple of streams of saving sources now, save minimal amounts monthly in each source and I feel so much comfortable now.
  1. Practiced Buddhism and enrolled in a Few courses and classes. My mental health skyrocketed, and I’m generally a happier, healthier and open person.
Mumoblue · 09/09/2021 13:57

I was going to say “dumping my ex”, which I can’t recommend highly enough, but obviously not everyone can dump my ex. Wink

But also going to therapy, years before. Really helped me with my MH and social anxiety.

I often catch myself doing something and thinking “there’s no way I would be able to do this pre-therapy”.

NoviceGardenLady · 09/09/2021 13:59

Eight weeks ago I signed up to a deal at my local rugby club
It was £50 for unlimited fitness classes over six weeks.

I have tried nearly all of them and been doing about five hours a week.

I feel amazing. I have more energy. I am stronger. I have more stamina. I have toned up massively. I have met some lovely people. I am leaving the house for more than dog-walking. I have a life outside of work.

It was something I singed up to on a bit of a whim but I think it might have changed my life Grin

RatherBeRiding · 09/09/2021 14:03

Stopped caring what other people think about me, except those very few whose opinions matter. And I can count them on the fingers of one hand! I found it incredibly liberating, as though I finally had given myself permission to stand up to people, and to say No to people and to stop putting myself out for other people's convenience with no benefit to me! Assertiveness, not aggression. Game changer!!

MintyGreenDream · 09/09/2021 14:03

Left my first husband.
Passed my driving test at 41.

Original poster
Dotdotlineline · 09/09/2021 14:05

@tellmetologoffIamaMNaddict wow reading this I recognise this a lot in myself. Hope your okay x

OP posts:
Boobieboobieboobie · 09/09/2021 14:06

Cut people out

VestaTilley · 09/09/2021 14:07

Getting a PND diagnosis (thanks work private medical), having therapy and taking sertraline (love it),

Losing over 1.5 stone in weight through diet alone,

Going travelling with now DH in our late twenties for four months before we had DC,

Supporting DH financially while he retrained - it really paid off. But it doesn’t for everyone - so tread carefully.

Getting DCats. I was sceptical, but they’re amazing!

Original poster
Dotdotlineline · 09/09/2021 14:09

@whycantwegoonasthree wow! Incredible that's amazing Smile

OP posts:
OnTheMoonWithSteve · 09/09/2021 14:10

Completed a degree in my late 30's which led to a promotion and large wage increase.
Paid off debt and started saving.
Daily exercise (walking and yoga)

littletinyboxes · 09/09/2021 14:10

@scrivette

I changed jobs.

From a well paid, managerial job to a lower paid, lower scale role doing something I really enjoy.
I feel very valued doing this job and have a better work/life balance.

Me too! I spent years doing a job that I hated with people who treated me (and everyone else- it was very much the culture) like shit because it was the sort of job I thought I ought to have. It's been a revelation to work with people who support each-other and to be able to spend time with my family without pressure to be available for work at all hours. I've also realised how much money I used to spend on 'stuff' to make me feel better/appease the DC and takeaways/eating out when I was too knackered to cook- so the reduction in income is more manageable than I expected.
Sallycinnamum · 09/09/2021 14:11

Realising that I'm not cut out for a stressful career and it's absolutely fine to enjoy work and not be overly ambitious.

I like my job, I'm reasonably well paid but once I switch my laptop off at 5pm I don't often hink about work.

I'm in my late 40s now and the number of people I know with highly stressful jobs that have completely burnt out is shocking.

Echobelly · 09/09/2021 14:13

Accepting that, whatever you are like, there will always be some people who don't like you, it's not that you are a bad person if not everyone likes you. Also, don't waste time and mental energy on the opinions of people who treat others badly.

LaBellina · 09/09/2021 14:14

Leaving my abusive ex.

Going NC with the dysfunctional family members that groomed me perfectly for types of men as said ex, trough childhood abuse that continued troughout adulthood. Now that I’m a mum myself, I can’t deal with that shit anymore and I went NC. Proud of myself but still I feel doubts nearly on a daily basis but I hope this gets better in time.

Northernsoullover · 09/09/2021 14:15

I quit alcohol completely and got a degree in my late 40s. The two are intertwined. I couldn't have finished a degree if I was sinking wine regularly. This led to an above average salary job.

Moonlight1972 · 09/09/2021 14:17

I have learned to not eat emotionaly anymore and lost a lot of weight and earn a great relationship with food.
I have given up alcohol and life is so much more beautiful without it

zingally · 09/09/2021 14:19

Quitting a job that was actively damaging my mental health. Ended up working in the same sector, but in a much lower position. And started up my own small business, which made up most the financial shortfall.
Went from working 70 hours a week, to about 35, and never felt happier. Wish I'd done it years ago tbh.

Original poster
Dotdotlineline · 09/09/2021 14:21

Reading all your posts is really inspiring- a theme of quitting alcohol and changing jobs seems to be a common theme here Smile . Going to pop the kettle on and have a good think tonight - keep them coming!

OP posts:
Annoyedanddissapointed · 09/09/2021 14:23

What is it you feel in a funk about @Dotdotlineline

ConsulTremas · 09/09/2021 14:26

Two things.

First, deciding to go to University when I was 23. Changed my life completely and I now have a well-paid, interesting career as a result.

Second, losing a considerable amount of weight. I’d been obese for years and it wasn’t until I lost it that I realised just how shit and tired I felt all the time. Even dropping the first couple of stones I felt miles better.