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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to feed DH the same meal twice?

541 replies

KidsAreMean · 09/09/2021 06:33

DH won't eat the same meal twice in one week. I, personally think it's absolutely bonkers, but apparently MIL never did (I must verify this with her!) and he doesn't like it. Fine. I've got used to it. However, usually during the week, I cook for the DC and will e.g. make a double portion of lunch which we eat 2 days later.
This week I made a massive lasagne. Plan: Monday lunch, Wednesday lunch when DH is home office and then we'd finish the rest Thursday lunch. Except DH has now decided he's working from home today (as well as yesterday). I don't have any other food in apart from eggs which he doesn't like. Else I can make an emergency pasta & tomato sauce - which is basically same as the lasagne!
So AIBU to serve him the lasagne? I'd planned to do the weekly shop tomorrow, going today will inconvenience me next week (even though I'm a sahm).

OP posts:
NativityDreaming · 09/09/2021 10:04

YABU for making every meal for him and pandering to his demands. Are you his wife or housekeeper?

HoppingPavlova · 09/09/2021 10:06

Uhhm, ok. What weirdness is this.
Surely someone cooks and if the other person doesn’t like what’s on offer they sort themselves out?

Why would you pander to this nonsense. Do you do this for dinners also? Madness. No idea why you can’t say, we are having x tonight and if he doesn’t like it he can get himself something else. For lunch, just say ‘I’m re heating some lasagne, do you want me to reheat you some also?’ If he says no then he sorts himself out for food.

starfishmummy · 09/09/2021 10:06

Op hasn't been back so I guess she's out buying him something else.

TheKeatingFive · 09/09/2021 10:06

Touched a few nerves!

Um, say what now?

MaxNormal · 09/09/2021 10:09

Poor love, must be tough not having hands Sad

BunnytheFriendlyDragon · 09/09/2021 10:09

My DH can be like this but if he's not going to cook he shouldn't complain.

Sometimes I try to vary a dish eg make a big bolognese and then use the second portion to make a lasagne.

Or chilli one night and tacos another.

If you really don't want to have the same meal twice but still batch cook you could just freeze the extra.

Xiaoxiong · 09/09/2021 10:12

@thisplaceisweird I have the same rule, now my kids are old enough to make themselves a sandwich. If you don't like what I've made, you cook something yourself that doesn't mess up the meal plan for the rest of the week. I genuinely enjoy cooking (except in lockdown, that was relentless) and know that I'm not serving up slop, so they can jolly well eat what they're given and say thank you afterwards.

Planty13 · 09/09/2021 10:14

Yeah YABU for pandering. Just leave him to sort himself

HermioneKipper · 09/09/2021 10:16

Bloody hell! This is awful OP. Sounds like a throw back to the 50s with him expecting his dinner on the table the second he walks in the door.

I do most of the cooking in our house because I’m better at it and I quite like it. But if my husband started making demands or saying he couldn’t eat x twice in a week then he’d be making his own dinner!

Polkadots2021 · 09/09/2021 10:18

@KidsAreMean

DH won't eat the same meal twice in one week. I, personally think it's absolutely bonkers, but apparently MIL never did (I must verify this with her!) and he doesn't like it. Fine. I've got used to it. However, usually during the week, I cook for the DC and will e.g. make a double portion of lunch which we eat 2 days later. This week I made a massive lasagne. Plan: Monday lunch, Wednesday lunch when DH is home office and then we'd finish the rest Thursday lunch. Except DH has now decided he's working from home today (as well as yesterday). I don't have any other food in apart from eggs which he doesn't like. Else I can make an emergency pasta & tomato sauce - which is basically same as the lasagne! So AIBU to serve him the lasagne? I'd planned to do the weekly shop tomorrow, going today will inconvenience me next week (even though I'm a sahm).
This post is very 1950's OP! But each to their own. Personally, I'd just tell your OP he's incredibly lucky to have someone cook for him at all, let alone have the audacity to complain about it, and that he has a perfectly functioning mind & body that would allow him to cook for himself at any time if he wants something to be done a different way.
pigsDOfly · 09/09/2021 10:19

So AIBU to serve him the lasagne? I'd planned to do the weekly shop tomorrow, going today will inconvenience me next week (even though I'm a sahm).

You're being unreasonable to 'serve' him anything, given his attituded.

And as for the idea of changing your planned shopping day to pick up something that he will like, well frankly, words fail me.

You're his wife not his bloody personal chef/housekeeper, if he doesn't like what's for lunch he can go without or make his own.

If the poor love doesn't like eggs then he can go to the shops and buy something that he will like. And he can cook it himself.

Flipping hell OP, what decade does he think he's living in.

Just because you're a sahm doesn't mean you have to pander to this sort of crap.

whynotwhatknot · 09/09/2021 10:19

Eat what youre given too many demands and fussiness these days

Dsisproblem · 09/09/2021 10:20

Unrelated to the OP, but I grew up in a household that didn't "do" leftovers. My mum would only ever cook enough for one meal. In my household now we eat a lot of leftovers. Why cook every day if you don't have to!

motherofcatsandbears · 09/09/2021 10:26

Pot noodles come in different flavours so he can be happy with them. Don’t be a slave to him, if he can read, he can cook.

Djifunrsn · 09/09/2021 10:26

Christ on a bike, getting the family fed is hard enough with one of them thinking that they are in a bloody restaurant. What a prick.

Original poster
KidsAreMean · 09/09/2021 10:28
Blush I don't usually expect the kids to eat the same thing three times in one week. But, they begged for lasagne, I hate making it so they can eat it til it's gone! I don't want to freeze it as I don't like defrosted lentils.

We eat our main meal at lunch time. I usually do M/W and T/T although if I don't have enough for two meals, I portion some up for DH to take to work the following day and we eat something easy like scrambled eggs or fish fingers the other day of the pair. Otherwise he gets a cooked meal from the canteen or takeaway when he's at the office.

DH cooks one or both of the main meals at the weekend.

I must admit I'm a bit Confused at all the let him get his own lunches when he's working from home. If you're all at home at a meal time, don't you all eat together?

OP posts:
Claudethecat · 09/09/2021 10:29

I don't think OP is coming back...

Claudethecat · 09/09/2021 10:30

Oh shit, cross post! Sorry OP!

FuckingFlumps · 09/09/2021 10:32

I must admit I'm a bit confused at all the let him get his own lunches when he's working from home. If you're all at home at a meal time, don't you all eat together?

If he's stropping because he doesn't want to eat the meal that's available then why on earth wouldn't he just say no thank you and get his own.

It's really not normal to pander to another adult so much.

thisplaceisweird · 09/09/2021 10:33

*DH cooks one or both of the main meals at the weekend.

I must admit I'm a bit confused at all the let him get his own lunches when he's working from home. If you're all at home at a meal time, don't you all eat together?*

Ooh what a saint...

No. We don't. Lunch times are a free for all. I don't wait for him to be done with meetings so I can serve him. I'll happily put something in the microwave for him. But he would do the same for me, sounds like your DP wouldn't dream of it.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 09/09/2021 10:33

Like pps, I wouldn’t “serve” him anything.

I thought it was normally for adults wfh and any teens at home to just help themselves to lunch?

“There’s some more of that lasagne if you want to get some for your lunch” might be what I’d say.

BlackTee40 · 09/09/2021 10:34

@KidsAreMean

DH won't eat the same meal twice in one week. I, personally think it's absolutely bonkers, but apparently MIL never did (I must verify this with her!) and he doesn't like it. Fine. I've got used to it. However, usually during the week, I cook for the DC and will e.g. make a double portion of lunch which we eat 2 days later. This week I made a massive lasagne. Plan: Monday lunch, Wednesday lunch when DH is home office and then we'd finish the rest Thursday lunch. Except DH has now decided he's working from home today (as well as yesterday). I don't have any other food in apart from eggs which he doesn't like. Else I can make an emergency pasta & tomato sauce - which is basically same as the lasagne! So AIBU to serve him the lasagne? I'd planned to do the weekly shop tomorrow, going today will inconvenience me next week (even though I'm a sahm).
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
thecognoscenti · 09/09/2021 10:35

He's an adult. If he wasn't WFH he'd have to manage to feed himself. 'There's some lasagne you can have for lunch if you want. If not you can find something else.'

ThePluckOfTheCoward · 09/09/2021 10:35

My mother was born in the thirties, so a fifties Mum, even she was not this much of a sap. My father was grateful to have a home cooked meal every day, whatever it was. He knew better than to complain, he once complained about the way Mum ironed his shirts early on in their marriage - after that he ironed his own shirts for the rest of his working life.

olidora63 · 09/09/2021 10:36

Ermm. I never make lunch for my husband…he knows where the bread bin is !