To think this is an odd thing for guy I'm seeing to say?

[takemetoyourhouse]

I have been dating a man I met online for 6 weeks, all going well, I really like him and from what he says and does he feels the same. But last night we had sex and were lying in bed talking and he had his arms round me and I looked at him and he said, 'I can just see the hormones being released in your brain'. I laughed and was like 'what?' And he said, 'women release hormones when they're falling in love and I can see it happening to you right now'

AIBU to think this was a very odd thing to say?

@WTF99

If it was me he'd have been seeing the hormones that make women say 'fuck right off' at that point

🤣🤣

@FlatteredFool Here's an entertaining recent thread on the same sort of subject. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4333914-Weirdest-thing-someones-said-to-you-just-after-sex?pg=1

Hmm what an odd thing for him to say! He sounds either arrogant or insecure. I think probably the first one.

@Famousinlove

And then you go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like 'women release hormones when they're falling in love and I can see it happening to you right now'

😂😂😂

My sympathies OP. Its not a great comment and comes across as arrogant or smug. Dickish.

I once had an experience that was sort of the opposite (with someone I was caught up in an incredibly romantic and exciting experience when I was far from home).

When we had sex and I was stroking his skin he said 'I don't do that - it releases oxytocin'. I didn't understand what he meant. Later I looked it up and it turns out that sex, soft touch and intimacy creates oxytocin that engenders emotional attachment. When I read that I felt like I'd been punched. He didn't want to be attached to me.

Your guy was maybe playing with that notion. After penetration for many women, subconsciously it can create an (involuntary) notion of emotional attachment simply because the act of allowing someone into your body (as distinct from what sex entails for a man) and skin to skin intimacy lowers your barriers. Smuggins knows a bit of that.

@APJ1 how did I miss that?? Thank you, I'm off for a read now. I need a good laugh.

@Famousinlove

And then you go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like 'women release hormones when they're falling in love and I can see it happening to you right now'

🤣🤣 best response!

@Niffler92

It’s a ridiculous thing to say but it is probably true. There’s research that shows when women are intimate the hormones they release lead to attachment/falling in love.

I can assure you that I’m a woman and have had decent sex with a lot of people without falling in love with them because of an excess of oxytocin.

OP, is it possible he was conducting a scientific experiment to see what kind of sentence has the quickest negative effect on post-coital oxytocin release?

I've just finished reading this book today - 'Best Day Ever' by Kaira Rouda - the man in it is a narcissist. A great read and cautionary tale. Alternatively, your guy's just a bit awkward at expressing himself?

@DoubleEx

My vagina would have sealed itself shut immediately.

🤣🤣🤣

What's his academic credentials ?

@ByJingoes

OP, why are you having sex with him when you have only known him for six weeks?

If he's a knob, isn't it better to get to know him first, and discover this before you have sex with him?

Women are allowed to just have a shag because they just want a shag, you know? We don't need to want or be in a relationship just to have a ride

Are you sure it wasn’t a joke? It sounds like a joke to me but you know him!

Definitely sounds like a joke to me too. I can't imagine it being anything else.

What a twat!

Cringey!

Any time you have a WTF? moment early in a relationship (like, within the first six months to a year) it's really important to make a clear mental note (and possibly even written note) of it and not to just shrug it off.

I mean, he could have just been making a joke that landed awkwardly and it's a one-off. But he could also have been doing something more manipulative – establishing an impression that he knows what's inside your head better than you do. This is a foundational step in putting himself in a dominant position in the relationship and making you question whether you can trust your own thoughts.

So just watch out now for him saying anything else that 'tells you what you're thinking'. Examples might be things like "Don't you think we were just meant to be together', 'I think we've both met our perfect matches in each other', 'We're going to have such an amazing life together', and other things that fast-forward your relationship. If you find yourself not quite feeling onboard with his intensity but not wanting to disagree for fear of hurting his feelings, that's also a red flag.

Conversely, also look out for him making negative accusations about what you're thinking. Like, if you have a different perspective on something from him, he gets annoyed and acts like you're personally attacking him. Or asking you out of the blue 'What's wrong?' And when you say, 'Oh! Nothing... why?' him saying, 'Well, I just feel like you're being a bit off with me.' And if you say, 'I'm not feeling off with you and I don't know what I've done to make you think that' he says, 'Well... okay. You just seem a bit cold or something' in a tone that shows you that he doesn't really believe you.

These are all signs of someone who is manipulating you to behave as though his thoughts are more important than your thoughts.

I am shocked nobody is commenting on this mans AMAZING super power! he can actually SEE hormones!!! He can see them in a woman's BRAIN no less!!! In. A. Women's. Brain.

He's outed himself now! You'll have to watch yourself. Now we need to figure out HOW he was gifted with this amazing power!

Questions

Either he is an alien. Does he ever do anything else funny like asking to be escorted to your leader?

Part of a hush hush military experiment.. Have you noticed black cars with dark windows outside of your home? Any suspicious flower delivery vans?

Maybe he was born with this untold power... Are you low on money? Surely, with his ability he would fetch a fine fee if you turned him into a lab or the government...

Or he has been bitten by something! Poor fellow! A radioactive bug just up and got him! Does he have a bunch of big spray on him at all times? Does he not want to watch Spider-Man because it'll open old wounds?

But seriously.

You keep a very close eye on that one. I don't like it. Not one bit.

Lol cringe

If we had to wait to get to know all the knobs before we didn't shag them, civilization would have died out.

[quote Scbchl]@SealHouse have you got the wrong thread?[/quote]
Oops, yes sorry wrong thread - will get it deleted

Omg 😱 😩😂 YANBU OP. This is the grossest comment ever.

Honestly I'd have just laughed And told him his penis isn't that mighty! Whether he meant it seriously if not, laughing it off is the best bet

Sounds like an arrogant git.

ByJingoes comment wins for me. I can imagine them now, sat poker straight with their chastity belt growing cobwebs around the key hole

We need more context.....
Is he generally cringey? Needy? Insecure?
Do you have "banter"?

Dependant on the answers to the above question (-and because I have a dry/sarcastic sense of humour-) my reply would have been "mate after that shit show of a session I'm not sure I even like you" ........