Calling in sick on first day of new job

[Thepinkstuffing]

I have my first day tomorrow, it’s in a school, working in the early years classroom as a general TA.
I started having signs of a UTI a few days ago, and today I rang the GP and managed to get a course of antibiotics.
I feel really crap though, I’ve only started them today, I’ve still got tummy pains, pelvic discomfort and the constant need to wee, although just a few drops come out.
If I’m still feeling this bad tomorrow, I may need to call in. I can’t keep running off to the toilet either, as I’ll be with the little ones.

I’m worried I’ll get fired on my first week the way things are going!
It’s so typical of me

Imagine being the sort of person who thinks less of someone or who considers their ‘card marked’ when a new colleague is unwell.

Really eye opening thread actually

@whycantwegoonasthree

I went to work on the first day of a new job with an infected abscess under a wisdom tooth, on industrial strength painkillers, to the point I could barely string sentences together.

Got sent home at lunchtime, but the fact that I went in anyway was noted and appreciated "that's commitment - but please go home you're in no fit state".

If you're as unwell as you say it's likely they'll send you home, but I think it's a statement of intent and commitment to turn up at least. They don't know you yet, and first impressions stick.

I'd rather the first impression was "will turn up even when ill" than "called in sick on day one, is possibly a shirker" if it were me.

It is not commitment. It is fear. On industrial strength painkillers you are v unlikely to be productive. This reads like something from the 1800s. Why do we work like this? It is not productive. To be honest, if I worked in a place that said “that’s commitment” to this, I d start looking elsewhere. My boss would raise his eyebrow and let it be known to me that I’m setting an example and he doesn’t want a culture where employees are so scared they will come to work very ill. He would ask me if that is what I expect from those I manage.... That’s why I stayed even though he had to cut my hours during the pandemic. That’s why I trust him and the company I work for. And it’s why his employees are genuinely committed, happy and he hangs onto them, even when they are offered more money to work elsewhere.

BeardyButton, I couldn't agree more. Some of the stuff on this thread is genuinely really concerning.

I fully agree that we should as a country be more accommodating and compassionate around sickness.

However I also need to maintain my career to support my family, so I would go in.

Some of the stuff on this thread is genuinely really concerning

Like wearing an incontinence pad instead of telling your new employer you have a UTI and feel rotten?

Absolute madness.

Your OP made it sound like you'd already decided you wouldn't be going in today.

You knew today was your first day of work and have felt unwell for a few days. You were irresponsible to not contact the GP earlier, no matter how difficult it was to get through. Even going to a walk in centre if you had to.

@BeardyButton Your employer sounds like mine. I feel ill today and didn't really sleep last night but we had an important meeting this morning the results of which will affect the next few weeks of work, so I went in and advised our MD I'd likely be leaving again after the meeting.

His response was that no meeting is this important and to go straight home, zoom in to the meeting if I felt up to it but no problem if I didn't.

This is one of the reasons why despite having to cut the entire staff to 25 hours a week for most of the last year he still has the majority of them working for him, and many have been with the company for decades.

I did zoom into the meeting, and now I'm going to bed. Chances are I'll be fine and back tomorrow but possibly not the case if I'd decided to struggle through the whole day like a martyr.

The problem is that its just impossible for her new employer to know if she's genuinely sick or just messing them about. Whether this is going to be a genuine one-off with awful timing, or whether she's about to be another employee who is off every couple of weeks 'ill' with something and is totally unreliable. Working as a TA in a school, that's a huge problem.

She's got no history with them at all, so they just can't know. It's great to say they should just believe her, but that's not actually where people-managing leaves you. People lie. They just do. And they lie about being sick - a lot. Look how often 'just ring in sick' is used on here.

The sad reality is that there are people who would take a job, then blow off the 1st day just because they don't feel like it that day, or something else has come up, or they got the date wrong or, or, or... They just don't see an issue with it

I've had staff accept a job, get right to the end of their several week notice period and be due to start, ring in sick day one - and only then ring in on day two to tell us that they weren't sick at all on day one, but at an interview for another role which they'd applied for after accepting our role and have been offered that job and so they aren't starting at all, tatty bye!

Missing day one with a 'self-certified minor illness', is a huge red-flag for management and HR, and it does and will get remembered. Yes, if she's still there with an impeccable record years later, it'll become an in-joke, but it'll mark her card with a cloud for a long time before then.

Op, if you're absolutely not fit to be in, ring in as early as you possibly can, offer to snap shot the script or the prescription and send it (it offer some proof of a real issue) and apologise profoundly. I wouldn't go as far as suggesting tena-lady (that's a bit much!) but if you can stand, move and drive, make the effort.

Beardybutton it wasn't fear. And they sent me home.

It was me deciding what the first impression was I wanted to make in my new job. And that if I didn't go in, they wouldn't know I was actually unwell and might just assume that I was a work-shy shirker, on the basis that they didn't know me. Thereafter if you're ill you stay home, but your first day? You do what you have to and turn up.

First impressions count. Say what you like, but they do.

And from the OP she didn't sound like she was imminently about to be hospitalised. So in those circumstances, my advice would be that you suck it up, take pain meds and take charge of the way you're perceived - as it'll help you in the long run.

Actually going in and being off your game and constantly in the loo would be more likely to give a bad impression

This is where it shows the OP can't win no matter what she does.

In her situation, I would do what was best for me, and be sure I could get over whatever first impression given time. I had to miss my first day at a job because my flat had been broken in to the night before, and I had to wait around for police and a joiner to turn up. People probably judged me for that, but I never had another day off (other than for annual leave) in the 4 years I worked for them. I'm assuming by the time I left, nobody viewed me with suspicion.

People get sick and it isn't always convenient. To go in because "what will people say" is ridiculous. If you are going to judge me before you have met me and hold that judgement over me, then you aren't worth worrying about.

@ginnybag

The problem is that its just impossible for her new employer to know if she's genuinely sick or just messing them about. Whether this is going to be a genuine one-off with awful timing, or whether she's about to be another employee who is off every couple of weeks 'ill' with something and is totally unreliable. Working as a TA in a school, that's a huge problem.

She's got no history with them at all, so they just can't know. It's great to say they should just believe her, but that's not actually where people-managing leaves you. People lie. They just do. And they lie about being sick - a lot. Look how often 'just ring in sick' is used on here.

The sad reality is that there are people who would take a job, then blow off the 1st day just because they don't feel like it that day, or something else has come up, or they got the date wrong or, or, or... They just don't see an issue with it

I've had staff accept a job, get right to the end of their several week notice period and be due to start, ring in sick day one - and only then ring in on day two to tell us that they weren't sick at all on day one, but at an interview for another role which they'd applied for after accepting our role and have been offered that job and so they aren't starting at all, tatty bye!

Missing day one with a 'self-certified minor illness', is a huge red-flag for management and HR, and it does and will get remembered. Yes, if she's still there with an impeccable record years later, it'll become an in-joke, but it'll mark her card with a cloud for a long time before then.

Op, if you're absolutely not fit to be in, ring in as early as you possibly can, offer to snap shot the script or the prescription and send it (it offer some proof of a real issue) and apologise profoundly. I wouldn't go as far as suggesting tena-lady (that's a bit much!) but if you can stand, move and drive, make the effort.

This. Very sensible.

Why would absence on the first day mark your card for a long time and become an in-joke? Of course there are pisstakers, but it would become obvious within the first month or so whether op fell into this category. I genuinely don’t understand why this is such an awful blemish on someone’s record. A question mark in the early weeks, yes, but why beyond that?

I think the pp pointing out that unfortunately some employers are unreasonable and op may not be able to risk this job is absolutely right, but that doesn’t mean the underlying attitude is acceptable. I mean, there was an hgv driver on the news the other day talking about wetting himself while driving and crapping in plastic bags - the reality of the working conditions for sure, but totally unjustifiable.

I guess I just don’t understand the posters who suggest they themselves would judge an employee or colleague who missed a first day. Why? And why would everyone be ‘joking’ about it years later?

Reminds me of the starting at 9am thread. There seems to be a lot of pettiness about.

@ginnybag

The problem is that its just impossible for her new employer to know if she's genuinely sick or just messing them about. Whether this is going to be a genuine one-off with awful timing, or whether she's about to be another employee who is off every couple of weeks 'ill' with something and is totally unreliable. Working as a TA in a school, that's a huge problem.

She's got no history with them at all, so they just can't know. It's great to say they should just believe her, but that's not actually where people-managing leaves you. People lie. They just do. And they lie about being sick - a lot. Look how often 'just ring in sick' is used on here.

The sad reality is that there are people who would take a job, then blow off the 1st day just because they don't feel like it that day, or something else has come up, or they got the date wrong or, or, or... They just don't see an issue with it

I've had staff accept a job, get right to the end of their several week notice period and be due to start, ring in sick day one - and only then ring in on day two to tell us that they weren't sick at all on day one, but at an interview for another role which they'd applied for after accepting our role and have been offered that job and so they aren't starting at all, tatty bye!

Missing day one with a 'self-certified minor illness', is a huge red-flag for management and HR, and it does and will get remembered. Yes, if she's still there with an impeccable record years later, it'll become an in-joke, but it'll mark her card with a cloud for a long time before then.

Op, if you're absolutely not fit to be in, ring in as early as you possibly can, offer to snap shot the script or the prescription and send it (it offer some proof of a real issue) and apologise profoundly. I wouldn't go as far as suggesting tena-lady (that's a bit much!) but if you can stand, move and drive, make the effort.

Exactly. It is very different if Audrey out of the office who's worked there since 1987 has a day off to Glenda ringing in on her first day. Glenda is a blank slate and like it or not, that slate is going to get "ooh flaky" written on it. And the people who interviewed her, no matter how well she interviewed, are going to be saying "gah! This one seemed so professional on the day"

For every "leg hanging by a thread" on MN, there are people who take a fortnight for a sniffle tbf.

I broke my elbow 2 days into a new job as a Reception class teacher! In September!
Signed off for 2 weeks. Not my finest moment, but couldn't be helped.

Glenda is a blank slate and like it or not, that slate is going to get "ooh flaky" written on it

This may be true but it’s really sad. This would makes a genuine ill person 1000 x more anxious, because not only have they been too ill but they’re starting a new job assuming their colleagues think they’re flaky and unreliable

[quote Thanksihateit]@userxx

There’s literally people on this thread saying they couldn’t get out of bed, or were throwing up, or were weeing blood with a UTI. Why are you so keen for people to work when they’re ill?[/quote]
Has the op said that ? I thought she had said she could feel an infection coming on and had AB's. It's her first day in a new job, should she try and push on and power through, I think so. As a fellow UTI sufferer I recommended tablets that the op can take to ease her symptoms.

Why are you so keen to put words in other people’s mouths ?

It would be practically unheard of to be off sick on a first day especially in a school. It will give a really poor impression of your reliability. Struggle in.

Just place marking to find out if op went in!

@Geamhradh OR... when Glenda eventually starts her new job after the 1-2 day delay because she was sick, and she shows up on time, she's grateful for their understanding, works hard, builds great relationships with her new colleagues and even shares a few jokes with them about the awkwardness of the whole thing, puts in her hours... by the following week everyone will have forgotten she even had a day off and everyone will happily continue on with their lives?

I literally suffer with this every few months. Take paracetamol, loads and loads of water and try herbal teas (leave milk and caffeine if you can).

Health is more important. Take the day if you need it. You should be judged on more than one day in my opinion.

I think it depends on how unwell you feel. I have had utis where i have urgency and pain but I can still walk around and could push through. But I once had one where I had temperature of 40 degrees, was shaking, couldn't see straight or stand because of the pain, started hallucinating and I literally slept for 48 hours straight. Utis can be awful but if you feel you like you can get up and push through then I would but if your too unwell then I'm sure they will understand

What are you going to do OP?

I have a UtI and I’m in work, I get them
All the time they are awful. I’m a teacher also. Just go in. It will look terrible.

@trunumber

Good god, this thread is so sad. What an awful work environment to judge someone for being genuinely sick. I wouldn't dream of thinking negatively if this happened to anyone I manage.

I really don't understand why we can't be kind to people at work.

Completely agree @trunumber Some people are way too over-invested in their jobs to the detriment of their own health and family.