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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Calling in sick on first day of new job

209 replies

Thepinkstuffing · 07/09/2021 22:50

I have my first day tomorrow, it’s in a school, working in the early years classroom as a general TA.
I started having signs of a UTI a few days ago, and today I rang the GP and managed to get a course of antibiotics.
I feel really crap though, I’ve only started them today, I’ve still got tummy pains, pelvic discomfort and the constant need to wee, although just a few drops come out.
If I’m still feeling this bad tomorrow, I may need to call in. I can’t keep running off to the toilet either, as I’ll be with the little ones.

I’m worried I’ll get fired on my first week the way things are going!
It’s so typical of me Sad

OP posts:
StoatMilk · 08/09/2021 09:55

@Cocopogo

Sorry you’re feeling so crappy but I wouldn’t take a day off with those symptoms. I’d go in and the little ones will take you’re mind off it and keep you too busy to mope
‘mope’

Give over Hmm

Mummy7777 · 08/09/2021 09:55

Everyone's pain threshold is different and coping mechanisms are different.

I was 7cms dilated with my 3rd child before I went to hospital. Contractions are awful but that's my threshold.

I would not say uti's are not dehabilitating as every case differs and ones own pain threshold.

I managed to cope with my uti well due to the medication which kicked in quite quick and my pain threshold being quite high. Not everyone is the same.

Anyway let's hope you managed to get to work and if not your employers were sympathetic.

tegannotsovegan · 08/09/2021 10:00

I got a job in McDonalds in 2017. I wasn't aware yet, but I was pregnant when I started my first day there. I threw up on the entire journey there, and threw up when I got into the staff room (I did try to go to the toilet but someone was in there so I couldn't hold it in). I got sent home.

Although I was "ill" (quotation marks because as I said, I didn't know I was pregnant yet) I still went in because it was my first day and I'd rather show up sick and get sent home than not show up at all and get fired. When I found out I was pregnant, the managers clicked that that was why I was being sick that day.

A UTI isn't a reason to not go to work. Go to work, and if they can tell that you're genuinely too ill to be there then they will send you home, and you're far more likely to keep your job than you would be if you just rang in sick.

Nietzschethehiker · 08/09/2021 10:06

OP I'd be a little bit careful of some of the responses on here. In theory they are right. No-one should have to go in when unwell and health comes first.

However these statements often come from the privileged. In roles or backgrounds that have seniority etc. They think back to being at start level and they misremember.

When I have been in senior roles of course I would say this (and mean it) to staff. I would apply it to myself. But often the actual reality in places is different.

The reality is it often will be held against you , whether fairly or not and in a TA position that's far more likely than when you are in a senior role.

It's fine for others to witter on about the politics of not being forced to attend when unwell (or the slightly ridiculous comparison with Covid missing the idea that UTI are not infectious) but if they have a financial safety net or a safety net of a wealthy family their advice is very privileged. I have in the past been quite simply unable to have the luxury to risk perception in my job because I was a single parent and a bad impression could lead to all sorts of issues.

Truth is it depends on the setting. Some will hold it against you and some won't. You may be in the financial position you can risk it or you may not be.

TedImgoingmad · 08/09/2021 10:10

Totally aside from your thread subject but:

My GP practice does not like to prescribe antibiotics for UTIs, but recommends taking ordinary, over the counter ibuprofen - they conducted a study on this, and had found it to be an effective remedy and a way of doing their bit in the face of the antibiotics crisis. Have to say, taking ibuprofen worked a treat when I had a UTI, the symptoms were gone within 24 hours in my case. I hate taking antibiotics, so I was really happy with this. (Nb: the GP would have prescribed antibiotics if I had insisted/if the symptoms had not cleared up).

Thanksihateit · 08/09/2021 10:20

I think people need to ask themselves exactly why they’d be so disapproving and suspicious of someone calling in sick on their first day.

It would not occur to me that they’d rung in for any other reason besides the fact that they were unwell, and needed time off. Shouldn’t employers have plans and policies for staff sickness?

‘I force myself to go into work when I’m ill so everyone else should’ is a terrible way to think about it

PluggingAway · 08/09/2021 10:24

@Nietzschethehiker

OP I'd be a little bit careful of some of the responses on here. In theory they are right. No-one should have to go in when unwell and health comes first.

However these statements often come from the privileged. In roles or backgrounds that have seniority etc. They think back to being at start level and they misremember.

When I have been in senior roles of course I would say this (and mean it) to staff. I would apply it to myself. But often the actual reality in places is different.

The reality is it often will be held against you , whether fairly or not and in a TA position that's far more likely than when you are in a senior role.

It's fine for others to witter on about the politics of not being forced to attend when unwell (or the slightly ridiculous comparison with Covid missing the idea that UTI are not infectious) but if they have a financial safety net or a safety net of a wealthy family their advice is very privileged. I have in the past been quite simply unable to have the luxury to risk perception in my job because I was a single parent and a bad impression could lead to all sorts of issues.

Truth is it depends on the setting. Some will hold it against you and some won't. You may be in the financial position you can risk it or you may not be.

Very sensible comments from @nietzschethehiker

I take sick days when I'm sick, and don't feel even slightly guilty. My DH earns my monthly salary in less than a day, and his job is very safe.

I work hard at my job and I am good at it, but I do not feel the pressure to prove my worth all day every day like I did when I was younger and living alone. Back then I wouldn't take a sick day unless I was literally not capable of hobbling in to the office, because I really bloody needed that job, I was desperate for a promotion, and I was terrified of being first on the chopping block if shit hit the fan and they started making redundancies.

It's not fair but it is true.

ClawedButler · 08/09/2021 10:33

Worked in several places where a new employee called in sick within the first few days. It creates a very bad impression and not one of those people was still employed there for any longer than about 3 months.

whycantwegoonasthree · 08/09/2021 10:43

I went to work on the first day of a new job with an infected abscess under a wisdom tooth, on industrial strength painkillers, to the point I could barely string sentences together.

Got sent home at lunchtime, but the fact that I went in anyway was noted and appreciated "that's commitment - but please go home you're in no fit state".

If you're as unwell as you say it's likely they'll send you home, but I think it's a statement of intent and commitment to turn up at least. They don't know you yet, and first impressions stick.

I'd rather the first impression was "will turn up even when ill" than "called in sick on day one, is possibly a shirker" if it were me.

TheTurn0fTheScrew · 08/09/2021 10:46

gosh, what awful timing. I think in your position I would take whatever time I needed, but pay for a private sick note from the GP even though it's not legally required, to try and allay any unjustified sniffiness.

userxx · 08/09/2021 10:53

@Thanksihateit

*Would you take to your bed 🤣.

Op, I always carry Azo max strength tablets with me, they are a life saver, google them and have a packet in stock.*

What a bizarre comment. Are you saying UTIs aren’t something that can make you need to stay in bed? Some people are hospitalised with them.

There's always one.
Thanksihateit · 08/09/2021 10:55

@userxx

There’s literally people on this thread saying they couldn’t get out of bed, or were throwing up, or were weeing blood with a UTI. Why are you so keen for people to work when they’re ill?

luckylavender · 08/09/2021 10:58

@louderthan - as far as I know, UTIs aren't contagious in a normal classroom setting

trunumber · 08/09/2021 11:00

Good god, this thread is so sad. What an awful work environment to judge someone for being genuinely sick. I wouldn't dream of thinking negatively if this happened to anyone I manage.

I really don't understand why we can't be kind to people at work.

Thanksihateit · 08/09/2021 11:00

@trunumber

Good god, this thread is so sad. What an awful work environment to judge someone for being genuinely sick. I wouldn't dream of thinking negatively if this happened to anyone I manage.

I really don't understand why we can't be kind to people at work.

Yep
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 08/09/2021 11:01

@bendmeoverbackwards - yes, thank you, I do think it was a lucky escape - for them as much as me, because if I'd taken it into work that day, they'd have ALL gone down with it!

Newbabynewhouse · 08/09/2021 11:07

Not in answer to your post OP but related to previous posts... what if you turned up 'sick' to make a good impression and passed it onto another 3 staff members?... or lets say you work in a care home, nursery, hospital etc.. would the employer REALLY appreciate you turning up to show willing? I know i wouldn't if I was the employer..

1990b · 08/09/2021 11:09

I suffer from frequent UTIs, l have gone in and then called the doctor from my workplace.

Antibiotics tend to start work quite quickly, you need to drink plenty of water, not juice and no fizzy drinks. Take paracetamol as needed.

When you do go to the toilet, rock back and forth so that you are fully emptying your bladder as this is what can cause UTIs.

Thanksihateit · 08/09/2021 11:10

A lot of people here basically acknowledging that they’d rather someone turn up in a nappy than have a day off

Fucking awful

1990b · 08/09/2021 11:12

If still feel really unwell tomorrow then please don't go in. I had a UTI whilst pregnant and ended up in hospital for 5 days. It was a rare one but ita still important to make sure to look after yourself

Hersetta427 · 08/09/2021 11:16

Don't even think about it. It would look absolutely awful. I would drag myself in half dying.

You would be seriously be marking your card.

Libertynan · 08/09/2021 11:18

Did you go in OP?

I used to get a lot of UTIs and found that the antibiotics kicked in pretty quickly. That, alongside drinking gallons of water made it manageable within 24 hours.

Hope you are feeling better whether you went in or not.

BeardyButton · 08/09/2021 11:20

Christ this is terrible. We do this to ourselves! There is absolutely no need to go to work with a broken foot. None! It doesn’t prove anything except how scared someone is of losing their job. It does not prove commitment. It proves fear. If we all stopped doing stuff like this, then life would be better for everyone. No one would feel they had to go into work with a genuine medical issue. I am lucky I do not work in places like this. But there is no way I would subject myself to this either. And no way I would judge a colleague. I am lucky I am judged on my ability to deliver rather than my appearance of commitment (based on my openness to doing things that quite obviously impact my well-being for the job).

B1rthis · 08/09/2021 11:21

It's just a job. They have your sickness record from previous jobs they will know that this isn't a pattern. Your health comes first.

IntermittentParps · 08/09/2021 11:26

God, I hate this martyrdom and competitive sickness. People on here are like the Black Knight in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. 'my head was hanging off but I took a paracetamol and did my 12-hour shift'.

OP, I hope what you did was called and explained that, with regret, you could not come in today. If nothing else, they should understand about the loo thing – of course you can't not go to the loo, but neither can you keep leaving the kids alone.