This may go down in mumsnet classics.. but until just now I did not know that men did not use loo roll.when they had a wee!!!!

[Heyhothatsok]

No loo roll in bathroom. I asked dh , any loo roll and how has he managed all day without any? He sais " Ive not been" .. i said what you have not had a wee all day.. ? To which he replied men shake ,they dont use loo roll .i cannot believe that have never noticed this.! Thought they would at least pat it a bit with some loo roll. No more spontanous for me for now. 🤣

I've just asked DH and he has confirmed that no he doesn't wipe, just gives it a shake. Should I LTB?

My FIL dosnt use anything for anything. He used our loo once, told us he couldn't flush the loo. When I went in there, loo seat was up no loo roll used and a horrid suprise was left behind. 🤢

@burritofan

Of course they use loo roll, what else is the penis-shaped hole in the centre for?

😆😆

I'm not convinced that shaking leaves things wet. I suspect it depends. It is much more likely to make a mess indoors though I imagine.

People are deluded if they think their partners always wipe after a piss. That 100% never happens when they are out in urinals, there isn't even toilet paper. Haven't you ever been for walk with a male companion when they've had a wee?

First rule,of classics, you don’t ask to go in classics. If you need to ask you’ve not got it going on

I’m just here to monitor the use of the word “grim” which I knew would make an appearance. Two so far, one on the first page. Solid, though not quite top MN performance.

I don’t think I heard the word used outside of MN, but here anything to do with bins, toilets (esp. brushes), and not changing your bra twice a day and your sheets three times a night is grim.

I agree. I had never heard anyone use the word until I came on MN, and didn't even realise the word was used in the context that so many here use it in. Highly irritating in my opinion.

Tbf wiping doesn't clean you either so I don't think it would make much difference to me in terms of "spontaneity"

Ewww seriously, a shake?! 🤮

My DH uses toilet paper for wee and toilet paper followed by wet toilet wipes for poo. He’s a clean one I suppose!

Rule of thumb:
Anything the Op thinks should go in classics (or is clearly written in the hope it will end up there) doesn't even deserve the description "not funny".

@ShowOfHands your poor DH and son wait to use the mens cubicle for the toilet roll. You know how grim the men's cubicle is likely to be don't you? Especially if they've just had to wait for it. I would definitely be using the urinals if I just needed a quick wee as a man.

DH didn't used to wipe. Then he got old man dribble so now he does.

One of my ex’s used to mummify his in loo roll after a wee. Very odd.

@gofg & previous poster I just inadvertently added to your grim tally. There is good reason that particular word is use in combination with mens toilets though. How would you describe gents toilets in one word?

You may find the use of the word grim 'highly irritating' but it's common parlance in t'North.

...until just now I did not know that women are expected to monitor their DH's toilet habits. Is this why my partner has never proposed? How can he possibly be assured of my commitment to our relationship if I've never even thought about having a peep while he has a jimmy riddle?

@RumblyMumbly oddly enough no I don't know what the men's toilets are like. I've just asked DH which will please people on this thread endlessly and he says don't worry he's not "poor DH" at all, the only real public loos he ever uses are in the supermarket and they're cleaned every hour and the joy of being a man is that his hands only touch the loo roll and the door lock and he washes them afterwards so it's probably easier and cleaner than using the women's cubicles which involve sitting down and therefore more toilet/skin contact. He also reassured me that if it's filthy, of course he'd use the urinal or go elsewhere but wondered why you think preferring to use available loo roll and having privacy makes him worthy of your sympathy?

The detail in that...

Normal for a lot of men to use toilet roll and sit on the toilet where I live. Makes for a nice hygenic bathroom

Probably best then that I dont mention that having seen the men in my life urinate many times the preferred method appears to be more of squeeze and roll procedure than an actual shake more likely to prevent drips apparently.

@alexdgr8

all the menfolk in my family do use paper for number ones. it;s how they are brought up. cleanliness is next to godliness. also it is not necessary for men to stand over the loo to pass water, which can be messy. many men sit down. many mothers demand this.

You follow them into to the toilet to see ?

Men !

YABU for nominating your own thread for Classics.

Not sure about the loo paper thing. I will probably not ask my DS. However, my builders certainly use it for something.

I know people nominate some utter shite for classics but this would be scraping the barrel.

a) one usually pulls foreskin back prior to urination - otherwise the effect is that of a floppy hose with urine going anywhere
b) with foreskin back the glans does not actually get wet - 'wiping' would be uncomfortable and risk leaving piece of tissue attached to glans - totally gross
c) shake is more to get rid of any urine in the pipe, yes excessive shaking is frowned on - "more than three shakes is a wank"
d) despite shake and any wipe there is always a risk of urine left in the pipe - it's a bugger but that's why y-fronts have thicker fronts

I can understand persons who do not retract foreskin needing to wipe, but to me at least that is gross and whilst it has happened occasionally when 'desperate' it is embarrassing and usually requires a toilet clean up

The perennial argument about hand washing after urination is a joke - unless everyone follows the same washing steps then every surface in a public loo is contaminated - especially tap and toilet handles - not washing minimises risk - I refer you to Winston who allegedly said "sir, I do not piss on my hands"

I don't know, with the crap that gets put in Classics now, this could well make it. At least this one is probably real.