AIBU about people who say ‘they worked hard to get to where they are’?

[MessyMissyMe]

Generally these are highly paid people who were able to go to University (support from parents/inherited intellect/confidence and self belief built up by secure, happy childhood) or had the resources to start their own business and were lucky enough to get remunerated by employment that they enjoyed and were good at, didn’t have outside influences or stressors that made things harder/took up time they needed to study or build a career.

They basically are just LUCKY and don’t deserve their success anymore than a cleaner or a care worker living hand to mouth in social housing deserves their lack of.

AIBU to get annoyed at people who say this?

@Usual2usual

I find it very hard to believe your son bought a house through saving through uni

DH and I bought our first flat in our 3rd year of uni. It can be done.

I live near Hull, a very large university city. The average house price there is £158,017 Most mortgages are leant on a 4 times salary basis so that'd be a £35k a year salary... Whilst studying full time.. that's a pretty good wage for a uni student...

U less of course they got an absolutely massive deposit from somewhere...

@Usual2usual

I find it very hard to believe your son bought a house through saving through uni

DH and I bought our first flat in our 3rd year of uni. It can be done.

How many years ago?

I think the rags to riches story through determination and hard work alone is not as common as we'd be lead to believe although clearly it does happen.
When you're clever, but not well educated, and don't have a financial cushion, it's much harder to take opportunities to improve your lot.
I'm more interested in any implication that if you haven't "done well for yourself", you haven't tried hard enough, or lack the drive.

@Usual2usual

I find it very hard to believe your son bought a house through saving through uni

DH and I bought our first flat in our 3rd year of uni. It can be done.

No, it can't.

Either this was years and years ago when property was dirt cheap, you availed of parents letting both of you live at home for free to save up for several years or you were gifted a massive deposit. There's no other way you can do it these days.

Even if you bought a very cheap property, I'm still struggling to see how two uni students could do it entirely independently

Some people work hard and are very successful in their careers.
Others work hard, maybe even doing 2 jobs to make ends meet and are seen as less successful.

LipstickLou I got a loan and a grant at Uni (1990's). I actually worked 3 jobs. My money went on rent, bills, transport and food.

I think we can all agree that Lord Goldsmith of Richmond Park, PC, has achieved his success solely through hard work. Who among us can deny that, after gaining a place at Eton as a billionaire's son; we have been made a magazine editor by our uncle at age 23, and put on the Conservative "A-list" of candidates at age 32? Despite having possibly avoided paying £580,000 UK tax per year for each year in the previous decade as a result of our non-dom status. Subsequently, after having been rejected by the electorate as both mayoral candidate and parliamentary candidate, have we not all been ensconced in the House of Lords by an Old Etonian chum?

There is absolutely nothing un-Conservative about that, and it is all the result of our own hard work.

Isn't it?

I see @LipstickLou hasn't expanded on how her ds could afford a property at such a young age...was it very cheap?

And @Usual2usual doesn't seem to want to elaborate on how they could afford to buy a property whilst at uni?!

I don't begrudge anyone success . It's just the way of the UK now we seem to hate anyone who's done well and have things.

I've been told I'm lucky and in a privilege position to own our house outright at 43.

I own it Due to the fact I've paid for it since I was 18 paid a mortgage for 25 years like everyone else .

@rwalker

I don't begrudge anyone success . It's just the way of the UK now we seem to hate anyone who's done well and have things.

I've been told I'm lucky and in a privilege position to own our house outright at 43.

I own it Due to the fact I've paid for it since I was 18 paid a mortgage for 25 years like everyone else .

Like everyone else? I don't know anyone who has bought a house at 18!

If I’m honest I begrudge unfair entitlement and success confered because of family,status or other nebulous unfair processes

@rwalker

I don't begrudge anyone success . It's just the way of the UK now we seem to hate anyone who's done well and have things.

I've been told I'm lucky and in a privilege position to own our house outright at 43.

I own it Due to the fact I've paid for it since I was 18 paid a mortgage for 25 years like everyone else .

How the hell were you earning enough at 18 to buy a house without a huge deposit that you'd worked and saved years for?

My husband worked incredibly hard to get his degree. The first in the family. Together we have a comfortable life. Nobody handed anything to us.
Even if you don't have much you can say that you work hard to get it whatever that may be.

@PalmarisLongus

"Two years pre/11+ tutoring = a good pass & scholarship to a local public school."

Lucky you had tutoring. Scholarships meant some one chose you, lucky that they picked you and not any of the others.

"Nose to grindstone throughout secondary education (including additional holiday studies + holiday jobs to supplement pocket money)"

Lucky you could study in holidays, lucky you got a summer job, lucky you got pocket money.

"Result - good ‘O’ & ‘A’ level passes.
Result - place at veterinary school."

Lucky you got a place at vet school and they didn't dismiss your application like they would have 100 others, but those 199nothers just didn't work as hard as you I guess.

"Work all the hours that God sends ( including 2 or 3 in 5 nights and weekends on duty )'
Lucky you got e ployed by someone and they didn't dismiss your CV like they would have other peoples. Or lucky that the business you set up worked out and ditn fail like 100ps of other businesses every year. Maybe they just didn't work hard enough?

"save, borrow invest in the business"

Lucky you could save and the recessions and pandemics didn't negatively affect that. Lucky you could borrow from people and banks and the people making that judgement said yes instead of no.

But yep. No luck at all.

Isn't it funny how often those that have been the luckiest deny it the most?

But the poster admits there was luck involved? She just says that it wasn't ALL luck which I agree with. If she hadn't worked hard then all the luck in the world wouldn't have made her a vet perhaps?

@PalmarisLongus - there was a house price crash that lasted until about 96. . At that time i earned 12k and a nice flat cost £40k. By 2001 you could get mortgages for more than a property was worth (the same flat being about 70k by that point).
Ive seen house prices rise and rise since I was I started work and wages totally stagnate since 2008.

Either this was years and years ago when property was dirt cheap, you availed of parents letting both of you live at home for free to save up for several years or you were gifted a massive deposit. There's no other way you can do it these days

It was 11 years ago, Scotland so no tuition fees and no extortionate house prices but no help from parents (they certainly didn't have the money) and I've quite literally no reason to make it up. We sold it at a profit, same as we have done with every house since and recently bought what we assume to be our 'forever home'.

Like everyone else? I don't know anyone who has bought a house at 18!

My SIL bought her first flat at 18 (no parental deposit).

Just because you don't know someone who has done it doesn't mean it can't be done.

Then please tell how it can be done!

And I can assure you that virtually no 18 year old can independently buy a property nowadays purely by "working hard"

[quote Elephantsparade]@PalmarisLongus - there was a house price crash that lasted until about 96. . At that time i earned 12k and a nice flat cost £40k. By 2001 you could get mortgages for more than a property was worth (the same flat being about 70k by that point).
Ive seen house prices rise and rise since I was I started work and wages totally stagnate since 2008.[/quote]
That was lucky then....

SIL worked various jobs since 13/14 years old, she had parents who made her pay her own way for things from very young (writing down how long she was on the phone for and billing her for it etc.) This made her very money savvy, she worked every hour going then left school at 16 got a full time job, moved to a job in sales at 17 and turns out was awesome at it so made massive bonuses which she saved saved up and used as a deposit for a very basic flat.

Again we are in Scotland, house prices are very different here.

@PalmarisLongus - yes. Its that kind of luck, like graduating or starting work just at the start of a boom rather than during a big crash when theres no jobs but house prices are shored up by government schemes that people dont acknowledge. My little brother is 13 years younger than me and is saddled with much bigger mortgage than i've needed. Sheer luck on my part.

@Usual2usual

SIL worked various jobs since 13/14 years old, she had parents who made her pay her own way for things from very young (writing down how long she was on the phone for and billing her for it etc.) This made her very money savvy, she worked every hour going then left school at 16 got a full time job, moved to a job in sales at 17 and turns out was awesome at it so made massive bonuses which she saved saved up and used as a deposit for a very basic flat.

Again we are in Scotland, house prices are very different here.

Nowadays children cannot work every hour going...there are strict rules limiting the hours a child can work.

In England, children need to remain in education and training until they're 18.

I live in london...a one bed flat in my area would be 250k. So a 25 k deposit and an annual salary of over £50k to get a mortgage I'm guessing. I can assure you no paper round or waitressing job is going to make property ownership a reality...no matter how hard they work!

I live in london...a one bed flat in my area would be 250k. So a 25 k deposit and an annual salary of over £50k to get a mortgage I'm guessing. I can assure you no paper round or waitressing job is going to make property ownership a reality...no matter how hard they work!

Sorry....are we only discussing London then?