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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This has put me off, would it you?

287 replies

Uribentmyspoon · 06/09/2021 21:18

Met a new guy, really nice, getting on well.
Today we took our dogs for a walk and he grabbed a large stick off the ground, showed it me and said ‘It’s an olive branch’ I jokingly (isn’t funny, bit cheesy) said ‘Oh are you offering me an olive branch?’ 🙄 He was really confused and I explained that it was just a crap joke, like offering someone an olive branch, y’know, the saying…he had no idea what I was talking about and hadn’t heard that saying. Is it weird that I’m really surprised by that? He’s also never heard of Wuthering heights, and, silly one here, The Superman party song, played at practically every children’s party in our 80’s childhood.
We’re both the same age, 43, so he’s not done young guy. Would you be put off by these things (not the Superman one) but the others? It felt weird explaining the saying to him and explaining Wuthering heights 😳 or am I just a bitch?

OP posts:
Bobsyer · 07/09/2021 18:24

I’m astonished there is a person on this thread who thinks a weirder a grown adult would be excited about ‘a big stick’ but would be perplexed at the response ‘oh are you offering me an olive branch?’. I mean, that’s standard banter and joking if you expect the dude to have more life experience than a toddler.

leavesthataregreen · 07/09/2021 18:32

@Susannahmoody

My DH has an old colleague we call Box Boy because there are so many mainstream things he hasn't heard of. The Beatles, just for one example. (It's as though he's been brought up in a box.)

^^

MIL, aged 75 has never heard of the band Queen. Very bizarre, but true!

A friend of mine who is a classical musician told me excitedly a few years ago that he'd just discovered a 'pop' song that was musically brilliant and he couldn't stop playing it. He had no idea pop music could be this good. It was Bohemian Rhapsody. How he'd missed it since 1970s I don't know.
Original poster
Uribentmyspoon · 07/09/2021 20:43

@2bazookas No, it was an actual olive branch, he picked it up and was just stating that

OP posts:
Plumtree391 · 07/09/2021 21:17

Probably because you don't see that many olive trees growing in the wild here in the UK.

Dillydollydingdong · 07/09/2021 21:20

A boy once said to me " I've got first refusal", Whaaat??? I didn't know what it meant.

Duopuss81 · 07/09/2021 21:28

These sound like really trivial things when written down like this and you’d think they surely don’t matter in the bigger scheme of things if he’s nice. however, I married a man just like this and have spent 12 years explaining every cultural reference to him amongst other seemingly obvious examples of general knowledge and it eventually erodes your respect for them and you start to just think they’re stupid. It’s boring for you and not nice for them. Stay well clear.

Original poster
Uribentmyspoon · 07/09/2021 21:36

@Duopuss81 😬Are you still together?

OP posts:
Original poster
Uribentmyspoon · 07/09/2021 21:38

@Plumtree391 We're not in the U.K.

OP posts:
worriedatthemoment · 07/09/2021 21:46

Im similar age and no party I went to played superman song it was played at holiday camps etc so I know it but not from kids parties

CounsellorTroi · 07/09/2021 21:52

I remember a young work colleague about 7 years ago, early 20s not long out of university who’d never heard of Harold Shipman.

lottiegarbanzo · 07/09/2021 22:03

That doesn't surprise me at all, given their age. Shipman was a massive news story at the time, for a year or two, then died. Not mentioned much since, unless you're discussing GP surgeries or mass murderers, both quite specialist topics.

LynetteScavo · 08/09/2021 07:07

Well I probably wouldn't recognise an olive branch if I found it in the floor.

I was a 6th form
With someone who had joined the school from
Canada. I don't know what they learned in Canada, but certainly it general knowledge- he was completely useless at trivial pursuits. One day he came running up to me extremely excited, asking me if I'd ever heard of a amazing man called Darwin he'd just read about. He was a straight A student, and very academic who now has a high flying career.

Maybe this man knows about things you don't?

It wouldn't be a deal breaker for me, but I can see why it would be for someone else.

derxa · 08/09/2021 07:23

It's 'the ground' not 'the floor'.

Tlollj · 08/09/2021 09:58

People know all sorts of stuff. Christmas number one in 1972.
Who scored the winning goal in the cup final in 1958.
And don’t know all sorts of stuff too.

SeriouslyISuppose · 08/09/2021 10:15

@Tlollj

People know all sorts of stuff. Christmas number one in 1972. Who scored the winning goal in the cup final in 1958. And don’t know all sorts of stuff too.
Let’s not pretend that knowing the Christmas number one in 1972 is the same as having even a nodding acquaintance with one of the greatest novels in English, though. You
Tlollj · 08/09/2021 10:25

Well I don’t think so but I’ve been called a snob and I think I’m better than everyone else before.
So just trying to see it from the other side.

SeriouslyISuppose · 08/09/2021 10:26

@Tlollj

Well I don’t think so but I’ve been called a snob and I think I’m better than everyone else before. So just trying to see it from the other side.
Well, I’m of your way of thinking, so you’re preaching to the choir here! Grin
DarlingFell · 08/09/2021 10:36

Never having heard of the Superman song would be a huge red flag for me.

Maybebaby8 · 08/09/2021 10:43

I don't understand half the thing's my OH goes on about. He's grown up in a rough area and knows more "Street" lingo, i grew up in the country. He's older and knows a lot of random thing's i don't.

I usually give him a confused look, we laugh and he explains it. It's amazing how much I've learned from him. I'd be so hurt if he didn't want to be with me because of it.

lottiegarbanzo · 08/09/2021 11:02

Clutching at straws (olive branches?) here, one can refer to the 'forest floor'.

SeriouslyISuppose · 08/09/2021 13:28

@Maybebaby8

I don't understand half the thing's my OH goes on about. He's grown up in a rough area and knows more "Street" lingo, i grew up in the country. He's older and knows a lot of random thing's i don't.

I usually give him a confused look, we laugh and he explains it. It's amazing how much I've learned from him. I'd be so hurt if he didn't want to be with me because of it.

Well, that works for your relationship, which is great, because he clearly likes explaining, but would you be equally delighted if your DH looked confused 50% of the time when you talked, and you had to explain things every time? It would drive me mad and be a major source of incompatibility .
JSL52 · 08/09/2021 15:04

@Ihopeyourcakeisshit

I am aghast that someone thinks the mention of Wuthering Heights is pretentious.
Me too Confused
Original poster
Uribentmyspoon · 08/09/2021 17:33

@DarlingFell 🤣🤣

OP posts:
Original poster
Uribentmyspoon · 08/09/2021 17:34

@lottiegarbanzo Yes, that was exactly it. I was referring to the forest floor 🤣

OP posts:
Simonjt · 08/09/2021 17:41

I’m 33

Never heard of the song after listening to it on youtube, heard of wuthering heights, no idea what its about but I know theres a fairly rubbish song about it, don’t see the fuss about the olive branch, no different to saying “oh look an acorn” if you’re in an area where they grow.

Odd things to be focusing on surely?

He’ll know stuff you haven’t heard of, its normal as you’ll both have had different upbringings etc.