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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to offer the photographers a wedding breakfast?

406 replies

realteal · 06/09/2021 19:12

Just wondering if this is cheeky or not. Maybe this is the done thing and I don’t know about it!

We are hoping to get married next year. There will be one photographer and his assistant. Their photos are great to be fair and we are very happy to have booked them.

We’ve just got the contract through. They have asked us to order two wedding breakfasts that they will eat in a side room.

AIBU to think this is a bit cheeky? We are paying them a four figure sum. Why can’t they bring a flask, a lunch bag and a packet of crisps like everyone else who goes out to work?!

Is this a common request?

OP posts:
ericaandfamily · 06/09/2021 20:21

We gave our photographers the bar menu, told them to order whatever food and drink they like and we will pay for it.

They were really grateful and asked what time it would be okay to do this, we had photos done at speeches and of the tablets set up but they ate when we ate.

They were with us 9am-9pm, I can't imagine going all day on a sandwich and bag of crisps or whatever you could put in a "pack lunch".

GreyhoundG1rl · 06/09/2021 20:21

@NinjaExodus

I'm fairly sure our photographer was only there for the ceremony and photos immediately afterwards and had buggered of long before the food Confused
Presumably that's all you paid for.
Sosigsandwich · 06/09/2021 20:21

We offered ours the course meal and he was surprised and chuffed.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 06/09/2021 20:22

I wouldn’t dream of not feeding them or expecting them to bring a packed lunch.

Missushbb · 06/09/2021 20:23

no i wouldn't pay this. they bring a packed lunch!

Tinkles78 · 06/09/2021 20:23

I think it's fairly normal to feed your photographers. Our hotel suggested we let them order a normal main meal from the bar menu and they ate as we were eating. It was only about £10-15 each for their meals. They worked an incredibly long day and didn't leave til 10pm, it was the least I could do!

NinjaExodus · 06/09/2021 20:23

I must be really sheltered because I can't recall any photographers at weddings I've been to sticking around after the ceremony and immediate post-ceremony bit. Is this a new things? Genuinely interested, not being snarky - I got married in 2000 and so did most of my friends so things may have changed since then.

Although the last wedding I went to was in 2017 and the photographer didn't stay later than that either. There were polaroid camera on all the guest tables though.

Missushbb · 06/09/2021 20:24

i like a painter and decorator there all day too doing just best work, i wouldn't make him breakfast lunch and dinner!

latte101 · 06/09/2021 20:24

Our photographer didn't want feeding.

TractorAndHeadphones · 06/09/2021 20:24

@WomanStanleyWoman

I presume you wouldn’t be chuffed with your photographer buggering off for an hour to find a meal?

But how long does a full wedding breakfast - which is what the photographer has requested - take to eat? A minimum of two hours, I’d say. It clearly isn’t an issue around the availability of the photographer; they would be unavailable anyway whilst eating.

From a more practical point of view, a lot of wedding venues are in the middle of nowhere, so the photographer simply wouldn’t be able to go elsewhere. It’s more for that reason that I’d expect to feed them - but not with a full shebang wedding breakfast!

I’m wondering if the wording is misleading - maybe they expected to during the wedding breakfast but not the exact same food iyswim? Venues are used to doing cheaper, supplier versions of meals so that’s what they meant
Tinkles78 · 06/09/2021 20:25

@NinjaExodus

I must be really sheltered because I can't recall any photographers at weddings I've been to sticking around after the ceremony and immediate post-ceremony bit. Is this a new things? Genuinely interested, not being snarky - I got married in 2000 and so did most of my friends so things may have changed since then.

Although the last wedding I went to was in 2017 and the photographer didn't stay later than that either. There were polaroid camera on all the guest tables though.

Our photography package included photos of the first dance, which was at least 9pm!
DontBeAHaterDear · 06/09/2021 20:26

Just out of interest how far away is your venue from say, a Costa/Tesco/civilisation in general? How long a lunch break would you be willing to give them? Would it not be easier for the photographer (which is actually a pretty long day!) and assistant to eat on site without having to go ages out of their way and yours to find somewhere to buy lunch/eat their packed lunch?

UserNameNameNameUser · 06/09/2021 20:27

@NewPapaGuinea

I irrationally find the term “wedding breakfast” annoying 😆
I’m not even sure what it means?
tillytoodles1 · 06/09/2021 20:27

My daughter got married just over two years ago, and although she offered the photographer a meal, he said no as it gave him time to look through the shots as he ate his sandwiches.

Madwife123 · 06/09/2021 20:27

In the grand scheme of wedding costs it’s nothing really. We have 2 photographers, 2 videographers and the wedding planner who will be there all day 8am - 10pm and will be fed. The suppliers meal is £15 so total of £75 plus they can help themselves to the evening buffet. That’s less than the cost of my invites and means happy staff more able to give me their best work.

CandyLeBonBon · 06/09/2021 20:29

@WomanStanleyWoman

I presume you wouldn’t be chuffed with your photographer buggering off for an hour to find a meal?

But how long does a full wedding breakfast - which is what the photographer has requested - take to eat? A minimum of two hours, I’d say. It clearly isn’t an issue around the availability of the photographer; they would be unavailable anyway whilst eating.

From a more practical point of view, a lot of wedding venues are in the middle of nowhere, so the photographer simply wouldn’t be able to go elsewhere. It’s more for that reason that I’d expect to feed them - but not with a full shebang wedding breakfast!

Quite often we are required to cover speeches. Most meals last around 1.5 hours. There is also a necessity to do technical checks, charge batteries etc and it's not advisable to leave thousands of pounds worth of kit unattended (drunk guests can sometimes get very curious!) so we would have to pack up and find somewhere, order, eat and be back in good time which is often on just an hour or so after the meal starts. If we are at a rural venue without local knowledge, we just don't want to run the risk of missing anything important. Plus there is a review of forward planning etc. Going off site is really risky. I've been photographing weddings for 10 years and I've always been fed and work very very hard to deliver a great service.
CandyLeBonBon · 06/09/2021 20:30

@UserNameNameNameUser it's called a wedding breakfast as it's the first meal as husband and wife!

SpeckledlyHen · 06/09/2021 20:31

@realteal

Clearly we will sign the contract and use them, I just thought it was a cheeky request!
christ.. when did we go back to the dark ages
UserNameNameNameUser · 06/09/2021 20:31

[quote CandyLeBonBon]@UserNameNameNameUser it's called a wedding breakfast as it's the first meal as husband and wife![/quote]
Ah! Thank you Smile

Septembe66 · 06/09/2021 20:31

Absolutely normal. Daughter just got married and due to having a couple of cancellations because of Covid the venue were nice enough to give the photographer one of the meals that were already paid for never charged them any extra

GreyhoundG1rl · 06/09/2021 20:33

that were already paid for never charged them any extra
They'd already been paid for Confused

MargaretThursday · 06/09/2021 20:35

Ours was on the basis that he would take photos up until the start of the meal at one price. If he stayed during the meal he asked to be fed and paid more.
Fair enough I think. We chose not to ask him to stay, but he was absolutely fantastic. He did some fantastic photos, didn't charge the earth and was a lovely chap with it. Can you ask more?

Lorw · 06/09/2021 20:35

Most photographers have it in their contracts that you need to feed them, I don’t have an issue with that, getting married soon and I’m providing the full 3 course wedding breakfast (at the cost of £120) to her and asking her to put the camera down during eating (who wants a camera round when they are eating anyways) and sit with the guests and enjoy, also gonna have a bar tab open for all our suppliers who are there all day/during the evening 😁

FatLarrysBand · 06/09/2021 20:38

I think it's bloody CF'y to specifically request 'two wedding breakfasts' over a general request to be fed. But, really, it's completely normal to feed the band and photographer.

tempchecked · 06/09/2021 20:38

Sounds like the zoo. Feed them this, feed them that, get fed, feed, feed feed. Reminds me of the animals/baby chicks with their mouths open waiting for the keeper/parent birdie to "feed them". Sorry am having a bad evening.

Supply them with a meal, It's a long day for anyone. And what's one of the biggest gripes/compliments about weddings? The food.

Congratulations, and hope you all have a wonderful day.

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