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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to offer the photographers a wedding breakfast?

406 replies

realteal · 06/09/2021 19:12

Just wondering if this is cheeky or not. Maybe this is the done thing and I don’t know about it!

We are hoping to get married next year. There will be one photographer and his assistant. Their photos are great to be fair and we are very happy to have booked them.

We’ve just got the contract through. They have asked us to order two wedding breakfasts that they will eat in a side room.

AIBU to think this is a bit cheeky? We are paying them a four figure sum. Why can’t they bring a flask, a lunch bag and a packet of crisps like everyone else who goes out to work?!

Is this a common request?

OP posts:
Wannakisstheteacher · 06/09/2021 20:06

Totally normal. They are there all day.

Bluntness100 · 06/09/2021 20:07

I’m with you op, cheeky fuckers are there to work, they can bring a packed lunch, why would you feed them. They can sit with their sarnies where you can’t see them.

Or of course you could see the food as part of the cost and do the decent thing. And clearly it’s not the same as an employee. And if you treat them like an employee then I suspect your photos will be shite. They are professionals yoire hiring to do a job. Not your underling

NotYourCupOfTea · 06/09/2021 20:10

So don’t sign the contract and don’t use them? Confused

Very standard and I don’t know what you would prefer them leave and go eat elsewhere?

Derbee · 06/09/2021 20:10

Completely normal. Completely tight fisted to expect someone to be working all day with no hot meal at any point

AmadeustheAlpaca · 06/09/2021 20:11

In Scotland. I have never heard of anyone offering the wedding photographers meals at the ceremony or reception. Ever. Might offer snacks if they are in your house taking photos of the bridal preparations but not a sit down meal. They are paid a large amount of money to take photos of the ceremony, speeches and the guests at the post wedding drinks reception plus the dancing. Completely unheard of in central Scotland. It’s not meanness, just not a tradition.

MsSquiz · 06/09/2021 20:12

We didn't offer our photographer/videographers a wedding breakfast, but our venue was attached to a pub so we gave them £20 each on a bar tab to cover a main meal and a few soft drinks throughout the day.
Ours was a long day - with us from 7am - 11pm, so it was nice to be able to offer them a decent cooked meal, rather than sad sandwiches and a flask of tea!

notacooldad · 06/09/2021 20:12

Does your employer feed you?!
Mine does.🤷‍♀️ Ive had breakfast and lunch there today.I've had a few snacks as well!

SpeckledlyHen · 06/09/2021 20:12

I had to provide food for the photographer and band members at my wedding...

Original poster
realteal · 06/09/2021 20:12

Clearly we will sign the contract and use them, I just thought it was a cheeky request!

OP posts:
Tooembarrassingtomention · 06/09/2021 20:12

Have you invited the vicar and their spouse as well?

WomanStanleyWoman · 06/09/2021 20:13

@FinallyHere

Would you honestly feel OK having a lovely meal while suggesting the photographers 'eat cake' ?
Yes! I honestly don’t think it’s normal for someone who is paid to be there on a professional basis to expect to be treated like a guest. No one’s expecting them to eat gruel like they’re Oliver bloody Twist, but come on - specifying ‘two wedding breakfasts’ is taking the piss.
Madwife123 · 06/09/2021 20:14

Pretty standard I’ve found. My venue offers a suppliers meal for this purpose.

CandyLeBonBon · 06/09/2021 20:14

@BrendaBubbles

Photographers really are mickey takers. You pay them thousands and even after that you have to get permission to use the photos however you want. I wouldn’t give my electrician or cleaner a sit down meal..
We really aren't!
traintraveller · 06/09/2021 20:14

I didn't know this was a thing and have never heard of anyone doing it. I'm getting married in November but only having the photographer for a few hours. Will need to check the contract.

GreenBeanMcGee · 06/09/2021 20:15

Completely unheard of in central Scotland. It’s not meanness, just not a tradition.

I'm in Scotland as is my friend and the hotel they manage.

GreenBeanMcGee · 06/09/2021 20:16

Central Scotland that should say.

ItsAllAboutTheBaseNoGerbils · 06/09/2021 20:16

Good wedding photographers normally carry a huge amount of bags / kit etc. Having to carry their own food and drink just adds an extra burden. Wedding venues often do not have facilities which would allow a photographer to purchase their own food / drink at a reasonable price - or even at all, such as when an outside catering company is used in a marque, and leaving the venue for a quick KFC would not be good for the photographic coverage. That is why some wedding photographers put something in their contracts. It is one less thing to worry about and is possibly a lazy way to request it rather than talking about it.

Having said that - a full wedding breakfast as per the guests get would normally be too much to eat, (and expensive for you) and not feasible in the small amount of down time photographers get during a wedding day. Suggest you talk to your photographer and caterers and come up with something suitable - and not a limp lettuce sandwich is not reasonable for someone who is on their feet all day and probably won't get home until after 10pm.

And yes, I am (was) a wedding photographer. I did not have a contracted clause regarding food, but always had the conversation with the bride and groom and explained why it would be appreciated. I have had everything from the limp lettuce sandwich to a full sit down wedding breakfast, and honestly – the best for me anyway, is a hot single course meal, which is served when the guests sit down for theirs. I always did full day coverage, so I felt asking to be fed was reasonable, a photographer who is covering part of the day may have less justification.

SpeckledyHen · 06/09/2021 20:16

If you are paying a four figure sum for the pics then I’m not sure why you are being tight over a couple of meals?

Sinner10 · 06/09/2021 20:16

Mine brought his own food, he very much did not want a wedding breakfast, it was clear in his contract about this. I’m guessing they’d get a bit porkie if they ate a wedding breakfast all the time 🤣

FartleBarfle · 06/09/2021 20:17

I didn't know about all this when I got married and I was so grateful for the time and quality of work that my photographer and videographer put in (even though we paid them for it) that I always look back and wish we had given them food. I kicked myself about it! See if your venue will cater something for them. It's odd to ask but you might feel glad you did it - I wish mine had asked!!!

TractorAndHeadphones · 06/09/2021 20:17

@traintraveller

I didn't know this was a thing and have never heard of anyone doing it. I'm getting married in November but only having the photographer for a few hours. Will need to check the contract.
It’s not necessary if it’s only for a few hours. Usually for all day affairs where it’s morning till midnight. Because where’s someone going to keep packed food that lasts that long???

It is cheeky to specific what sort of food though.

Opus17 · 06/09/2021 20:18

@KatieKat88

I feel bad now! My photographer told us he always brought his own food (and brought up the topic first), never occurred to me to do any different!
Same! She told me she brings her own lunch and sneaks away to have a break 🤷🏼‍♀️ I didn't think anything of it...
GreyhoundG1rl · 06/09/2021 20:19

@Sinner10

Mine brought his own food, he very much did not want a wedding breakfast, it was clear in his contract about this. I’m guessing they’d get a bit porkie if they ate a wedding breakfast all the time 🤣
It's just dinner. Probably the only real meal they'll get that day?
NinjaExodus · 06/09/2021 20:20

I'm fairly sure our photographer was only there for the ceremony and photos immediately afterwards and had buggered of long before the food Confused

WomanStanleyWoman · 06/09/2021 20:21

I presume you wouldn’t be chuffed with your photographer buggering off for an hour to find a meal?

But how long does a full wedding breakfast - which is what the photographer has requested - take to eat? A minimum of two hours, I’d say. It clearly isn’t an issue around the availability of the photographer; they would be unavailable anyway whilst eating.

From a more practical point of view, a lot of wedding venues are in the middle of nowhere, so the photographer simply wouldn’t be able to go elsewhere. It’s more for that reason that I’d expect to feed them - but not with a full shebang wedding breakfast!

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