To say he can't come more often?

[ReturnOfThePedi]

Unless DH sorts something with work which means he's around more.

I have two DSC, a DSD and a DSS.

They currently stay 2 nights a week but have been making sounds recently about wanting to come more often, especially DSS.

DH works long hours in his own business and often isn't home until gone 8pm, leaving in the early hours and sometimes staying away.

However he always makes sure he is available when DSC stay on Saturday and Sunday nights.

DSS wants to come more often (he some friends on our road which is probably a big factor), DH has been mentioning it and has asked if we can talk about it (their Mum has said it's okay if that's what he wants).

AIBU to say he absolutely can, providing DH makes sure he is around? The way it is at rhe moment if DSS stayed more in the week, DH would barely be here and it would be me doing everything. (He has just turned 9).

I work too but am currently off with our 8 month old however my work hours are set 10-4:30 so I'll be around more than DH in the evenings/morning even when I'm back in work.

The way DHs work is, I already end up with the huge majority of the load at home, frankly I don't want DSS added to that all week too.

@aSofaNearYou

Yes she is. And besides, if parents are best, surely a step parent is second best? The hypocrisy is strong on this thread.

Why surely? Step parents are about as good as other family members, childcare settings etc. Only parents are parents, everybody else it depends on the person in question.

Someone willing and eager is surely best, though.

The point is, as an adult with autonomy, rather than a vessel that exists purely for the betterment of the children, I would expect their dad to be there to be "best", rather than delegate to me regardless of whether I was second best.

What hypocrisy do you see?

Agree with all of this. Step parents are not automatically second best at all.

*Parents need to sort themselves out between them and not impose on others.

A first mat leave is a special time.*

Absolutely

It is a fact that you become emotionally involved with a child when you marry/ have a serious relationship with the father/mother.

No it isn't.