To ask what really posh folk are like?

[hahahayoumustbejoking]

Someone on MN recently said that posh people were very friendly and polite but actually wouldn't tend to get close to people outside their close circle and were quite guarded.

Just wondering if anyone has any other insights or stories of the posh, good or bad.

@Hoolihan

I work with titled/old money types every day and after seven years in the job they make me feel sick. The accumulated wealth and unearned privilege is eye watering and does this country a massive massive disservice in so many ways. Pmsl at all the cap doffing on this thread, 'oh the really posh ones are ever so naice not like these ghastly middle class upstarts', absolute load of bollocks. When it comes down to it most of them simply do not give a shit about anything or anyone outside their milleu.

Have to say, I always think this on these threads too, there seems to be a weird thing of " oh the real upper classes treat people well, it's the nouveau rich who behave like arseholes " .

I'm actually from a very posh family.

Land and titles. (The money went a long time ago)

You wouldn't know if you met me. Or my parents.

Some of the responses on here seem to down to whether Lady Anabel Whatsit was actually nice to you or not — if yes, she’s either a fabulous, down to earth, gin-sozzled and with lovely manners, never mentions her Palladian mansion or thousands of acres, or if no, she’s a ghastly, probably arriviste snob.

A bit like those ‘did you meet a celebrity’ threads where some actor gets the thumbs up or down according to whether he posed for a photo while eating his dinner or not.

What @hoolihan said makes me sad.

My family own land (and also houses) some of which has been leased/farmed for generations by the same family.

There is a couple that I know who retired and could no longer afford the rent. They'd lived in their house for 40 years. So my family stopped asking for rent. They didn't feel it would be ok to evict people from their home after so long. (But still did boiler checks etc etc)

They're known as good landlords.

I read most of the thread. I’m Irish (and all of that implies).
Married to an upper middle class man (family originally working class), but through cousin’s etc marriages have met ludicrously wealthy people (not “celebs”). I find they are much closer to me in spirit and absolutely love my family and are more authentic and aware of the world etc than than the upper middle classes etc.
Still wouldn’t swap it for Irish working class though!!

Theres not a one size fits all for any being.

@VladmirsPoutine

I get the impression that the proper posh lot i.e. landed gentry types with titles and manors in the country and all that rarely wash as in have showers or bathe.

This must be one of the oddest descriptions of being posh I have ever heard!

I disagree with the view that all authentically "posh" people, i.e. aristocracy as opposed to the upper middle class, are all benign, kind, and down to earth. And all the middle classes are obsessed with status. Some individuals, just like in every other section of society, are decent people, and some are not. I've known "old money" country folk who are lovely and generous and some who are hideous and downright mean! Some who have an open attitude and accept you as you are, and have a modicum of humility about them, and some who are extremely judgemental about everything and everyone and in their own flinty eyed opinion, can do no wrong! Just the same with the middle classes! Imho, it largely boils down to intelligence not money or class.

The old Etonians were lovely lovely men, so understatedly confident, impeccable manners and treated everyone absolutely the same. One of them is now one of Prince George’s godfathers, so they are literally part of the aristocracy.

I am afraid I know some ghastly Old Etonians.

They're all like Prince Philip.

@Blue4YOU

I read most of the thread. I’m Irish (and all of that implies). Married to an upper middle class man (family originally working class), but through cousin’s etc marriages have met ludicrously wealthy people (not “celebs”). I find they are much closer to me in spirit and absolutely love my family and are more authentic and aware of the world etc than than the upper middle classes etc. Still wouldn’t swap it for Irish working class though!!

What do you mean ‘I’m Irish (and all of that implies)’?

What are all working class people like? What are all blonde people like? What are all teachers like?

I hate the word "posh". It infers they are better then you.

Hope this isn't a silly question, but are you talking about posh brits i.e. aristocrats/landed gentry or does this extend to the posh in other countries? @hahahayoumustbejoking

As a Londoner, i meet far more posh people from other countries who just happen to live in London! So many international students were from prominent families in their home countries. I was an international student too in London years ago, and I grew up mingling with a lot of people like that as my parents are fairly wealthy (but are self-made professionals/businessman, so I don't count as posh; my grandfather was a teacher) and sent me to good schools. What struck me is how sheltered they are and this characteristic seems to be shared by almost all the posh people I know, irregardless of country of origin. The global rich nowadays tend to dress and act similarly and gravitate towards each other. They travel extremely extensively, and attend the same universities, their children aim to get into the same few top companies/professions/dabble in investments. They don't even consider anything out of the top leagues. They tend to marry and mix with each other. Even though I grew up with a lot of people like that, I don't fit in as my background is very different, my parents remember the deprivation of their earlier years and raised me to be frugal. (even though their families weren't poor per se, there were many mouths to feed and probably a fairly large mortgage for that time;my grandparents had decent sized houses that didn't quite correspond with their humble salaries)

This thread has reminded me of this- I'm thinking of the Boris Johnson Bullingdon boy type here- to be fair I think maybe only the first seven are applicable

I've known quite a few and they've all had totally different personalities. The only thing they've had in common has been an unwavering.... not sure how to describe it.... sort of, self assuredness. Not cocky or arrogant. Just a sort of self belief that I supposed comes with privilege.

We’re great. All of us.

I've dealt with a few titled families through my work and I realized that they communicated with each other at least every day even though they didn't live all that close to each other. They had beautiful manners and all loved their dogs in a way I'd never witnessed before.All of them had paid hunting in their grounds and that didn't give them a second thought. Their gardens were hugely important to them and plants were shared across all the estates ie:these lilies belonged to Lady X's grandmother.
One of the ladies became a dowager and I was genuinely shocked at how quickly she was moved to a little cottage out of the way.

Judging from this thread, and the fact I am pretty sure I recognise the partner of a family member from other threads, I suspect that actual posh people just get on with life oblivious to their poshness or at least not bothered by it.
People who purport to be posh or to have married posh are trying too hard and likely have quite vivid imaginations.

We are distinctly not posh, this family member grew up in a normal 3 bed, went to a comp, parents both worked in average middle class jobs having been brought up working class, and are by no means posh - despite insinuations and affectation. From descriptions you'd think they had married landed gentry who own an estate property and acres of land.
The constant "so posh" does amuse us though! Obsession with class does funny things to people doesn't it!

Is Boris posh?

@biggerthehoops

I've known quite a few and they've all had totally different personalities. The only thing they've had in common has been an unwavering.... not sure how to describe it.... sort of, self assuredness. Not cocky or arrogant. Just a sort of self belief that I supposed comes with privilege.

I always describe that as the 'private school attitude' (swap for 'public school' if extremely posh). I can almost always tell when someone has been to private school. They absolutely do have this self assuredness and confidence and belief that anything is possible.

@Nayday

Posh although as a term nebulous and hard to pin down, is fun to try and classify. I would notice certain habits or tendencies that although general and not applicable to all, would be a litmuss test of 'poshness'. These are more behavioral markers rather than character - good character transcends posh or other 'class'.

For true posh, your family will be landowners ie an estate and or titled or own significant assets (funds). No exceptions. Anything else is just 'rich'. You can be poor/posh of course but this means your family had those things, and lost them. So posh parameters established, typical markers are:

• Lady - may look like a harridan day to day, covered in mud, dogs and horticulture. Come the Christmas shindig will chuck on the Vivienne Westwood ball gown (not new) and family diamonds with an updo and look like a younger Elizabeth.
• If giving a dinner party and something untoward happens such as a mouse appearing, will laugh, ignore or shoot it. A middle class host will go bright red and leave the country.
• Charming and polite without being obsequious
• May use mummy and daddy as an adult to address their parents.
• Will have a super posh name like Arabella Victoria Sebag Rothschild - and her family will call her Rabbit
• Will not care that posh people say 'smart' rather than 'posh' - that red herring is left in the Debretts guide for the aspiring middle class wannabes that read it to correct each other.
• Trust fund
• Born abroad
• Horsey
• Volvo/battered vehicle
• Somewhat unaware e.g will invite you for a cup of tea in their garden which will turn out to be Chatsworth House
• When they ask you where you went to school, they don't mean Brentwood Primary but which major private school (if it's in Tatler, name it, if not say you were sent abroad).
• A tonne of other points, a nanny, supper, nursery, country pursuits etc!

That was fun, can we do do a middle class one?

I think this nails the posh definition

Oh and the one saying you must own a hill. That's proper posh

@onlychildhamster

Hope this isn't a silly question, but are you talking about posh brits i.e. aristocrats/landed gentry or does this extend to the posh in other countries? *@hahahayoumustbejoking*

As a Londoner, i meet far more posh people from other countries who just happen to live in London! So many international students were from prominent families in their home countries. I was an international student too in London years ago, and I grew up mingling with a lot of people like that as my parents are fairly wealthy (but are self-made professionals/businessman, so I don't count as posh; my grandfather was a teacher) and sent me to good schools. What struck me is how sheltered they are and this characteristic seems to be shared by almost all the posh people I know, irregardless of country of origin. The global rich nowadays tend to dress and act similarly and gravitate towards each other. They travel extremely extensively, and attend the same universities, their children aim to get into the same few top companies/professions/dabble in investments. They don't even consider anything out of the top leagues. They tend to marry and mix with each other. Even though I grew up with a lot of people like that, I don't fit in as my background is very different, my parents remember the deprivation of their earlier years and raised me to be frugal. (even though their families weren't poor per se, there were many mouths to feed and probably a fairly large mortgage for that time;my grandparents had decent sized houses that didn't quite correspond with their humble salaries)

Interesting. Are only the British truly posh?

In general, they have a really, really terrible sense of style. (Apart from the small minority that are high fashion and work for Vogue, say).

@Balonzette

What are all working class people like? What are all blonde people like? What are all teachers like?

Lovely Even lovelier Not thought of as so lovely on MN