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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH charged me for Steak...but I'm a Veggie!

791 replies

atleastthepoochlovesme · 02/09/2021 20:04

Not irate/upset/annoyed but just wanted to see how others would feel if it were them...

DH is a lovely guy but has his quirks (don't we all). For context, we split the household bills and big purchases 50/50 so he transfers the money into my account on the 1st of each month. For anything else, we just buy what we want/need out of our own money.

A few weeks ago, DH and I had some beauty treatments by a self-employed beautician who has a beauty room at home but is also mobile. I've only visited her a handful of times before, so we're friendly, but not friends. Before we left, she was telling us about other treatments she does, so DH and I booked in for a massage at our home (DH said he would pay as a treat) which took place a couple of days ago. As we were leaving, DH asked her if she liked steak, to which she said yes, so DH told her that he would make a steak dinner for her (DH loves to cook). I thought it was a bit odd offering to make dinner for her when she was coming over to work, but it was a friendly enough gesture by him. Please note this was his gesture, not mine. I would've just given her a tip at the end!

Anyway, the day of the massage arrived; DH went to the butchers and bought the steak. While I was enjoying my massage, he was cooking away in the kitchen. Beautician ate and enjoyed the steak and DH was loving the compliments.

Yesterday morning, 1st of the month, direct debits due, I checked my bank account and found that DH had transferred £20 less than he should have. When I asked him why, he told me, "for the steak!" I wouldn't have minded but I'm a vegetarian so I don't even eat bloody steak!

Yes, he paid for my massage...thought it was a treat, but it cost me £20 in the end. Still a bargain I suppose! What would you think?

OP posts:
Scoobydoobydo · 03/09/2021 17:33

I think he really wanted beef curtains

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 03/09/2021 17:35

@CommanderBurnham

Tell him the massage was a treat. Why should you then pay for the steak?
This.

Also Vegetarians shouldn't have to pay for steak, is the argument I'd use.

He needs to take you out for a lovely non meat dinner this weekend to regain the higher moral ground after this fiscal debacle.

What music did you play during the massage? Plinkety Plink? Hard Rock or MOR

Ckzoaa · 03/09/2021 17:35

@PerpendicularVincent

I have no idea where the fuck I am.
Nor me!!Grin
Upsidedownworld21 · 03/09/2021 17:36

This is one of the weirdest thread I've ever seen 😳
Sorry but you both sound tight with money and have weird arrangements.

EvilPea · 03/09/2021 17:36

Brings a whole new meaning to the phrase “happy ending”

ChargingBuck · 03/09/2021 17:38

He needs to take you out for a lovely non meat dinner this weekend to regain the higher moral ground after this fiscal debacle.

Ye Dogs no, @DuckbilledSplatterPuff!
Think of the embarrassment when he pays for the meal, then nips into the restaurant kitchen to microwave some meat products for the waiter's tip ...

paddingtonbearmeetsdeadpool · 03/09/2021 17:38

GreyhoundG1rl I do find it funny. Weird or not normal what is normal because I see enough pretentious people pretending to be something they are not. I don't think the op is weird it's an immature outlook on life and boring.

Nixster87 · 03/09/2021 17:38

I’m not married but we’ve been together six years this weekend, I booked to have my nails and eyebrows done this morning, when I got there I used my partners card to save me faffing about moving money across from my savings acc. We don’t have joint accounts we just both use the account with the cash in for what we need at that moment, he will go shopping and say “who’s card shall I use?” We don’t nit pick over who pays for what our money is combined and used for what we need then any left over for things we want. Transferring -£20 is really petty.

VanGoghsDog · 03/09/2021 17:39

He bought two steaks at £40 each, £80 on steaks? And he charged you half for the cost of hers?

And he cooked his and reheated it, yet you say he's a good cook? It takes less than five minutes to cook steak, you'd never microwave it!

None of this makes sense. None.

Original poster
atleastthepoochlovesme · 03/09/2021 17:40

@ChequerBoard because you're my favourite! 😘

Seriously though, I apologise if you feel singled out. I won't converse with you any further if it's upsetting you. But you have been harsh!

OP posts:
ChargingBuck · 03/09/2021 17:41

@Nixster87

I’m not married but we’ve been together six years this weekend, I booked to have my nails and eyebrows done this morning, when I got there I used my partners card to save me faffing about moving money across from my savings acc. We don’t have joint accounts we just both use the account with the cash in for what we need at that moment, he will go shopping and say “who’s card shall I use?” We don’t nit pick over who pays for what our money is combined and used for what we need then any left over for things we want. Transferring -£20 is really petty.
This is all very well Nixster, but please cut to the chase. What we all need to know is - what did you tip your beautician with?
Justgivemewine · 03/09/2021 17:47

Thank goodness I’m not the only one who probably pulled this face after reading the op

DH charged me for Steak...but I'm a Veggie!
donamich81 · 03/09/2021 17:48

I'm a beauty therapist. If i went to a clients home and this scenario played out, i would never go back. It's really creepy!!

Original poster
atleastthepoochlovesme · 03/09/2021 17:49

@ChargingBuck

Rightho, *@atleastthepoochlovesme*. It's important to do the thing properly, innit. Reckon 60 minutes at full whack should do it?
Brings a whole new meaning to flambé!
OP posts:
ChargingBuck · 03/09/2021 17:51

@donamich81

I'm a beauty therapist. If i went to a clients home and this scenario played out, i would never go back. It's really creepy!!
Noted. If you'd been offered a more extensive choice of fayre, would it have felt more comfortable? This new tipping experience is a heady business, & I'm keen to get the etiquette absolutely spot-on.
mustlovegin · 03/09/2021 17:52

DH cooking for the beautician would make me more worried than the £20 charge TBH. Watch out OP

Original poster
atleastthepoochlovesme · 03/09/2021 17:54

I think DH could be onto something here. Future fiat is no longer cryptocurrency, it's cuisine-currency!!

OP posts:
Mumontour85 · 03/09/2021 18:01

Everything about your setup is weird. I get 50/50 bills, but that kind of penny counting in a relationship is absolutely ridiculous!

Almost as weird as him inviting a stranger who was there in a professional capacity to stay for a special steak dinner! Sounds a bit like he's charging you for a date he took another woman on 😳🤣🤦🏼‍♀️

vinoinveritas · 03/09/2021 18:03

Grin that has made me giggle SO much!!

Moorethemerrier · 03/09/2021 18:04

I can’t weigh in here.

I’ve had a long day, I’m at the end of the 6 week holidays with 3 kids and I can honestly say this thread has cheered me right up!

Thanks OP

vinoinveritas · 03/09/2021 18:05

... think I’d be a bit worried about your Dh ... do you think he maybe fancied the masseuse?

LittleMissMe99 · 03/09/2021 18:07

It all sounds odd and a bit wrong to me.

Bertiebiscuit · 03/09/2021 18:12

Tbh I think your whole relationship sounds very chilly and untrusting - more like a business deal ugh!!!!

calvados · 03/09/2021 18:17

He is an odd bod … good luck

Sk8ermum3000 · 03/09/2021 18:27

Did DH shower and dress properly between massage and cooking or did he cook in his dressing gown? I’m shuddering thinking about the inappropriateness of this situation. Weird does not begin to describe it.
I reckon the OP needs to set some proper boundaries, but it’s possibly all a bit late. DH sounds like a flat sharer rather than an adult life partner…..