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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH charged me for Steak...but I'm a Veggie!

791 replies

atleastthepoochlovesme · 02/09/2021 20:04

Not irate/upset/annoyed but just wanted to see how others would feel if it were them...

DH is a lovely guy but has his quirks (don't we all). For context, we split the household bills and big purchases 50/50 so he transfers the money into my account on the 1st of each month. For anything else, we just buy what we want/need out of our own money.

A few weeks ago, DH and I had some beauty treatments by a self-employed beautician who has a beauty room at home but is also mobile. I've only visited her a handful of times before, so we're friendly, but not friends. Before we left, she was telling us about other treatments she does, so DH and I booked in for a massage at our home (DH said he would pay as a treat) which took place a couple of days ago. As we were leaving, DH asked her if she liked steak, to which she said yes, so DH told her that he would make a steak dinner for her (DH loves to cook). I thought it was a bit odd offering to make dinner for her when she was coming over to work, but it was a friendly enough gesture by him. Please note this was his gesture, not mine. I would've just given her a tip at the end!

Anyway, the day of the massage arrived; DH went to the butchers and bought the steak. While I was enjoying my massage, he was cooking away in the kitchen. Beautician ate and enjoyed the steak and DH was loving the compliments.

Yesterday morning, 1st of the month, direct debits due, I checked my bank account and found that DH had transferred £20 less than he should have. When I asked him why, he told me, "for the steak!" I wouldn't have minded but I'm a vegetarian so I don't even eat bloody steak!

Yes, he paid for my massage...thought it was a treat, but it cost me £20 in the end. Still a bargain I suppose! What would you think?

OP posts:
SpeckledlyHen · 03/09/2021 10:35

@NewMutiny

Was this not the most awkward meal ever? You both in your bathrobes watching her eat her chips? There isn't an emoji to adequately convey my cringe...
Howling!
GeidiPrimes · 03/09/2021 10:37

I have to know why he chose to microwave the steak. Microwaved meat must surely be inedible?!

Steak dinners, pampas grass, massages 5* hotels. Is your husband Delboy?

EarthSight · 03/09/2021 10:38

@ohidoliketobe

Sorry, I can't answer your question about the steak. I'm still really confused that he cooked a steak dinner for the therapist who had just given you a couples massage... And she just sat and ate it? In your home? Confused
This XD
AryaStarkWolf · 03/09/2021 10:41

£40 for a Steak wtf? You wouldn't even pay that for a steak, fully cooked by a chef in a restaurant

atleastthepoochlovesme · 03/09/2021 10:43

How well kept most of you are by your husbands!! Feel like I've been transported back to the 1950's. 😳

I really don't see the problem with splitting the household costs. Same way I don't see a problem with sharing the household chores. Oh wait, I forgot, we're in the 1950's again!

OP posts:
WingingItSince1973 · 03/09/2021 10:44

Do you have pampas grass in your front garden by any chance?

atleastthepoochlovesme · 03/09/2021 10:45

@ChequerBoard But @ChargingBuck is right though. At no point did I say I was "worrying" about the £20. Nor did I say that I was having a hissy fit about it or demanded it back. My perspective was on principle.

OP posts:
atleastthepoochlovesme · 03/09/2021 10:49

It's very, very important you are all aware that HIS steak was reheated! The beautician didn't have to chow down on leathered steak!
Hope that helps all whose blood pressure went through the roof! 😜

OP posts:
Tlollj · 03/09/2021 10:49

Just caught up from last night. I like the cut of your jib. That’s all I want to say 😃

lottiegarbanzo · 03/09/2021 10:50

His nutty invitation, his bill. Obviously!

ElvisPresleyHadABaby · 03/09/2021 10:52

You have kids!?!?!

ChargingBuck · 03/09/2021 10:53

Who tweaked your beak @ChargingBuck?

Not why you think I'm remotely interested in your opinion?

Why do you think OP, or anyone on the thread, was interested in your unpleasant sneering, & disapproving, supercilious opinion?

(Hint - the sneering tweaked my beak. HTH)

ChequerBoard · 03/09/2021 10:54

[quote atleastthepoochlovesme]**@ChequerBoard* But @ChargingBuck* is right though. At no point did I say I was "worrying" about the £20. Nor did I say that I was having a hissy fit about it or demanded it back. My perspective was on principle. [/quote]
Err hang on..

You said "Yes, he paid for my massage...thought it was a treat, but it cost me £20 in the end. Still a bargain I suppose! What would you think?"

That is clearly you being worried about being out £20. No mention of morals there is there?

Nice sock puppet by the way...

atleastthepoochlovesme · 03/09/2021 10:54

@PluggingAway thank you Judge! Verdict Acquitted!! ✊🏻** Power to the people!

OP posts:
atleastthepoochlovesme · 03/09/2021 10:59

@ChequerBoard still can't see anywhere in my post saying I was worrying about it. I only queried why the set monthly figure (and agreed by both parties) was £20 short. Shoot me for asking a question! If it helps, my response to him was, "Ok."
Seems like you're worrying about it more than me. I'll slip you a £20 if you come over for a steak and massage!

OP posts:
ponyexpress22 · 03/09/2021 11:00

This sort of think might become the new norm if we ever go cashless. Grin

ponyexpress22 · 03/09/2021 11:01

thing not think*

Ibelieveinghosts · 03/09/2021 11:03

I don’t think your finances are odd, lots of couples don’t have joint accounts where both work.

Utterly bizarre to cook a person who you are paying to provide a service a meal. Does he do this for a plumber or electrician? I suspect he was after a rather more personal massage!

He is effectively charging you for his sad little ego trip. Tell him to hand over the cash you are not subsidising his midlife crisis salivating over this beautician.

atleastthepoochlovesme · 03/09/2021 11:04

@ChequerBoard Nice sock puppet by the way

Shallow comment. Because you're with the majority and it belies belief that the world is full of different opinions?

I published my post. I've read the comments and laughed so hard along with some. I don't need a sock puppet. @ChargingBuck is his/her own person and I'm liking his/her comments. Nothing wrong with that.

Is that not what public forums are about?

OP posts:
DrManhattan · 03/09/2021 11:05

This is the oddest thing I have read in ages. It can't be true. How strange.

atleastthepoochlovesme · 03/09/2021 11:07

@ElvisPresleyHadABaby and if we do...??

OP posts:
BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand · 03/09/2021 11:08

@atleastthepoochlovesme

How well kept most of you are by your husbands!! Feel like I've been transported back to the 1950's. 😳

I really don't see the problem with splitting the household costs. Same way I don't see a problem with sharing the household chores. Oh wait, I forgot, we're in the 1950's again!

Sharing household costs doesn't mean I'm 'kept'. We both earn well in this house, and with the exception of a small pot we each have for personal spends, it's all shared money (and I work in finance as well).
atleastthepoochlovesme · 03/09/2021 11:08

@Tlollj thank you ✊🏻

OP posts:
Iwantamarshmallowman · 03/09/2021 11:11

@GetMeOut22

I think the dynamic is weird, he's fucking weird for cooking the therapist a steak, and you're weird for putting up with it. Also, how is a steak £40?
This
quiteathome · 03/09/2021 11:11

As a massage therapist, if I went to a house and was given a steak dinner between two massages I would start to think that the steak was the previous massage therapist.

It would seriously freak me out.