DH charged me for Steak...but I'm a Veggie!

[atleastthepoochlovesme]

Not irate/upset/annoyed but just wanted to see how others would feel if it were them...

DH is a lovely guy but has his quirks (don't we all). For context, we split the household bills and big purchases 50/50 so he transfers the money into my account on the 1st of each month. For anything else, we just buy what we want/need out of our own money.

A few weeks ago, DH and I had some beauty treatments by a self-employed beautician who has a beauty room at home but is also mobile. I've only visited her a handful of times before, so we're friendly, but not friends. Before we left, she was telling us about other treatments she does, so DH and I booked in for a massage at our home (DH said he would pay as a treat) which took place a couple of days ago. As we were leaving, DH asked her if she liked steak, to which she said yes, so DH told her that he would make a steak dinner for her (DH loves to cook). I thought it was a bit odd offering to make dinner for her when she was coming over to work, but it was a friendly enough gesture by him. Please note this was his gesture, not mine. I would've just given her a tip at the end!

Anyway, the day of the massage arrived; DH went to the butchers and bought the steak. While I was enjoying my massage, he was cooking away in the kitchen. Beautician ate and enjoyed the steak and DH was loving the compliments.

Yesterday morning, 1st of the month, direct debits due, I checked my bank account and found that DH had transferred £20 less than he should have. When I asked him why, he told me, "for the steak!" I wouldn't have minded but I'm a vegetarian so I don't even eat bloody steak!

Yes, he paid for my massage...thought it was a treat, but it cost me £20 in the end. Still a bargain I suppose! What would you think?

God yes, microwaving a piece of beef fillet is a crime. What an ignorant thing to do

[quote atleastthepoochlovesme]@Crispyturtle the financial set-up suits me fine. It may not others but it does me.

Don't know why a couple of you are saying I'm "shoe-Horning" in the 5* resorts. Just because we are lucky enough to have them, doesn't mean we don't work hard or are ungrateful. For many years I cut out the coupons for the £9.50 The Sun holidays so my children could have a holiday. That means I have a fair basis for appreciation. Don't knock me for working hard. I mentioned them for context. That is all.[/quote]
I was on your side until the bit about affording five star resorts because you "work hard". The majority of people work hard. Those on the poverty line tend to work extremely bloody hard in manual work, sometimes several jobs, and still can't afford five star resorts.

"If only those pesky poor people would just WORK HARD then they could have holidays like us! Lazy."

The least weird thing about this is the finances. We operate in the same way that you do with joint account for bills and the rest is our own, we don’t work out to the penny though.

It’s much easier and less stressful as we have very different attitudes to money but it works out well to be able to use our own money for what we want.

In order of weirdness:
Inviting massage therapist for steak dinner
MT accepting
You sitting and eating it with her while DH cleaned up
Microwaving a steak
£40 for a steak
Your financial arrangement

This is the most bizarre thing I've ever read. I have no idea though why either of you are worrying about £20 if you buy £40 steaks for random strangers and holiday in 5* resorts (stealth brag obvs).

I couldn't get worked up over £20.00. Sounds like a complete non-issue.

I would, however, get concerned as to why he is cooking for a meal for someone who is there providing a service/working that you are paying for. That is odd.

I can't get over reheating an expensive steak I. The microwave, especially form someone who "likes to cook"

I'm just at the price of the steak! It wasn't being touted as 'waygu' was it? Or - heaven forbid - he didn't buy fillet? The best cuts in terms of flavour for 'steak and chips' type meals are either a good, marbelled-fat rib eye or a good sirloin with a layer of lovely yellow fat along the edge. Any cut more 'premium' than that isn't worth it in the cost-to-taste ratio.

I live somewhere that is very close to London prices across the board, and I paid just under £30 for 3 amazing rib eye steaks from our local independent butcher last weekend. I'm from a butchering family (the meat kind, not a bunch of murdering human beings kind ) so I'm fussy with what I buy and feed my family in terms of meat, but I'm also careful not to pay over the odds when it's really not worth it.

Blimey, OP! And that's also leaving aside you don't even eat it!

I would say that if the two of you are spending this much time and energy worrying about who owes who £20, you're not all that invested in your relationship.

It would be a different matter if you were stony broke and that £40 you spent on steak was needed for basic utilities but it's not.

And suddenly offering to make a steak dinner for your masseuse was beyond weird!

Honestly, when I started reading, I was like whatever... husband WILDLY misunderstood what was going on here and thought this was a sex thing (something similar happens in Schitt's Creek on the wedding morning, right?).

The money... well, if I've learning anything on Mumsnet is that's everybody manages their finances their own way.

But OMG HE MICROWAVED A FUCKING £40 STEAK???? That is honestly the maddest thing about this whole story! I... just can't even fathom what was going on in his head! Had he panicked because the penny had dropped and he suddenly grasped that this was literally just an actual massage, no hand/blow job or anything, and was mortified and just wanted to get it all over with as fast as possible?

I couldn't get worked up over £20.00. Sounds like a complete non-issue

But of a turn off though isn’t it? Him “treating” her to the massage but calculating her portion of the cost of the “tip” for the masseuse and taking it off the money he usually sends her.

If i was in the beauticians shoes i would have politely declined, thinking i was going into a keys in the bowl situation. i then would have blocked your numbers and magically had a very full diary for the next 10 years.

I bet she saved on some oil for her second massage. Beefy steak hands!
I've had such a giggle at this thread!

The whole thing is odd from start to finish.

Weird is only thing came to my mind after reading this.

You have a very odd set up - between invoicing each other for day to day living and him cooking steak dinners for beauticians. I can't fathom any of it.

The whole thing is utterly nuts. The most nuts thing about it is this:

"I checked my bank account and found that DH had transferred £20 less than he should have. When I asked him why..."

What kind of married couple quibbles about £20? You say there's no pettiness, but that right there is petty.

If you think it is normal to feed the massage therapist (which it's not!), and you also think it's normal to split all expenses 50/50 down to the last fiver (which it's not!), then you have to accept that you split the cost of feeding the beautician. Whether it not you are veggie is irrelevant - the beautician wasn't veggie and it was her you had offered to feed.

OMG HE MICROWAVED A FUCKING £40 STEAK????

I'd missed this! This is insane. Paying as much as £40 for a steak that couldn't even be bothered to cook nicely. Nuts...

Wait - I missed that update. Did he actually cook the £40 steak by microwaving it?? Or did he reheat leftovers?

He can't have cooked it that way. Can you imagine you disgusting microwaved steak would taste? Like poached leather I should think. Zero point buying best fillet and then cooking it like a Rustlers microwave burger kit!

Surely poor masseuse would have boaked at microwaved steak?

Would LOVE to hear the masseuse's take on the evening!!

@Nat6999

Chargingbuck My parents always put all their wages in the pot & then when my mum who was in charge of the money had worked out what was left they split it in to savings & spending money that they each had, there was none of the "you had X so you need to pay for it" same as me & my late dp, we put whatever we had coming in together, worked out what needed paying & then shared the rest out as personal money. If you are living together either married or just in a relationship you should share everything including household finances whether you put it all in the pot or each of you pays a portion of the bills.

Again, with the controlling "should".

You sincerely believe that OP should manage her finances in the only way you approve of ... because that's what your mummy & daddy did?

Why is it any of your business?
And have you missed the fairly relevant fact that she works in Finance, so probably knows a bit more about financial management than most?

Most importantly, what the heck is going on with you that you are so much more interested in how OP runs her bank accounts than the thrilling, steak-based shennanigans of her Royston Vasey lifestyle?

Just opened this thread and feel I’ve stumbled into something deeply, deeply strange

Yesterday morning, 1st of the month, direct debits due, I checked my bank account and found that DH had transferred £20 less than he should have. When I asked him why, he told me, "for the steak!" I wouldn't have minded but I'm a vegetarian so I don't even eat bloody steak!

£20?!?!?!?!?

For (your) half of a single steak for the beautician?

What did he give her? A kilo of that Kobi beef (or whatever it is?)

That's ridiculous!

Bollox to that for a game of soldiers - I'd be fuming. It was his idea - he pays!

(I'm surprised she wanted to eat a meal with you TBH - I would have felt slightly uncomfortable in a situation like that. A cup of tea and a biscuit, fine, but a steak dinner? Slightly weird!)

This has to go into classics, I haven't cried laughing at a thread as much as this in a long time

I'm dying to hear the beauty therapist's take on this...

Totally not normal/natural!
Your husband fancies the masseuse. Get real!
I cannot believe your unhealthy, financial set-up??
The masseuse most have been very uncomfortable with this situation.

I would say that if the two of you are spending this much time and energy worrying about who owes who £20, you're not all that invested in your relationship.

Aaaw. Too busy moralising to read OP's updates, @ChequerBoard?

@ChargingBuck

I would say that if the two of you are spending this much time and energy worrying about who owes who £20, you're not all that invested in your relationship.

Aaaw. Too busy moralising to read OP's updates, @ChequerBoard?

Who tweaked your beak @ChargingBuck?

Not why you think I'm remotely interested in your opinion?