Traumatised by being smacked

[Babyparrotdog]

Sounds dramatic to some maybe but am I the only one who feels they are genuinely traumatised from being ‘smacked’ as a child? I feel so much worse about it since having my own child.

Really sorry you’re going through this. What do you mean by traumatised exactly? Sounds like you must have been smacked frequently or harshly for it to still be plaguing you so much. I don’t like smacking and I do still recall being smacked but it was very light. I hated being shouted at by teachers more. I think that was something that I remember far more vividly. Not just me, but my peers too being utterly humiliated and screamed at for forgetting something or looking out of a window. Awful.

I really don't actually but it's a personal thing so I can understand why some people would. Plus there are all different 'levels' of smacking. My friend for example had a mum who would chase her round the house, smacking her repeatedly and leaving red marks on her legs and arms.

I hated the awkwardness and anticipation more than the smacking. I didn't mind as much if it was "just" a punishment, more so if it was done in anger.
As other PPs have mentioned, having your psyche picked apart and have your insecurities grilled (not necessarily from parents) has stuck with me far more over the years..
But everyone is different and only you know yourself what you are and aren't traumatised by. There's no "right" or wrong, or "normal" when it comes to these things. At the end of the day, if it affected you, it affected you.
If it is still creeping up, and you think you are negatively affected as an adult, it would only be unreasonable to ignore it and not seek further help.
The fact that you have posted here shows enough self awareness to perhaps seek some help. Often people need validation before getting help for their problems.

I feel the same but the level of smacking I received was more serious physical abuse than a gentle punishment. I think about it daily.
My friends mum would give her a tap on the back of the hand or bum as punishment and she seemed unfazed by it.

Definitely. But I didn't just get a smack for something serious and rarely ever repeat the offence. Me and my sisters were smacked, pushed, thrown, kicked, grabbed by the hair etc . I've never raised a hand to my children.

I really don't

You are probably not the only one, but not being the only one does not make your position reasonable.

I was only ever smacked once. By my dad. But it's stayed with me. So I can understand why some people would feel traumatised if they were regular smacked, or if the smacking was particularly vicious.

Not traumatised. Annoyed that my parents couldn't find better ways to communicate but that's it.

I can empathise. My father slapped my legs on more than one occasion, leaving a hand print. It was traumatic at the time but I accepted it.
Looking back I feel quite differently, as you do.

@FuckingFabulous

Definitely. But I didn't just get a smack for something serious and rarely ever repeat the offence. Me and my sisters were smacked, pushed, thrown, kicked, grabbed by the hair etc . I've never raised a hand to my children.

Same here.

Funnily enough, I am extremely close to my DM though. Not really sure why ...

YANBU to feel traumatised - it's how you feel. How other people felt about their own experiences is pretty much irrelevant as they're not you and didn't experience what you did.

I hope you're okay

@Babyparrotdog

Sounds dramatic to some maybe but am I the only one who feels they are genuinely traumatised from being ‘smacked’ as a child? I feel so much worse about it since having my own child.

Smacking is so subjective isn’t it? One of my friends was truly smacked (taps on hand, no harsh words or tones) and she views it all positively. I was beaten bloody with a rolling pin & mum called that smacking so of course I was traumatised. But actually it wasn’t smacking, it was just plain abuse.

I think the difficulty is that the one word covers everything from a light tap on the backside to assault with a weapon. The light tap was the normal a few years ago and though we see it differently now I suspect time out, shouting, confiscation of items etc may all be viewed as having been wrong in the future.

Assaulting your child has always been wrong and always illegal. Feeling traumatised is a reasonable reaction to that.

Nah, barely remember the odd smack. Missing a party because I had misbehaved still stings though!

Yes, I know I was.

Nope, it was just the way things were. I had handprint marks on more than one occasion and my dad flying up the stairs after me used to almost make me pee myself. I'm not traumatised about it though.

I flinched every time my mum or dad made a sudden movement. For YEARS! Well into my 20s.
It also made me determined to never lay a finger on my own children.

My dad actually had the nerve to say that me flinching made him feel bad. 🙄

If the smacking was particularly humiliating, then that might well leave scars.
Unlike PP, I find it easier to forgive an angry smack than a deliberate punishment in cold blood and on principle. I think I would have found being put in the naughty corner more humiliating and less forgivable.
I feel more upset by being labelled as oversensitive, and by certain incidents when there seems to have been a desire to humiliate than by being smacked, but smacking covers a wide variation of violence and humiliation as others have said.

FuckingFabulous
Definitely. But I didn't just get a smack for something serious and rarely ever repeat the offence. Me and my sisters were smacked, pushed, thrown, kicked, grabbed by the hair etc . I've never raised a hand to my children. 
Same here.

Funnily enough, I am extremely close to my DM though. Not really sure why ...

My SM was used physical punishment similar to @FuckingFabulous. I've been afraid of her ever since. I'm in my 50s now, but still fear her and I'm constantly trying to please her.

I think that the smacking etc affected me as a person. I'm a people pleaser, I fear authority, I have been drawn to abusive relationships.

But I have never raised a hand to my DD. I hope she respects me and learns from the non-violent/aggressive discipline methods I use.

It really depends on what you mean by smacking. It can vary from swatting a hand away from an electrical outlet or a freshly iced cake, to full on beatings - where the parent unleashes their anger and leaves redness and stinging

Smacking is always an ambiguous term because some people haven't experienced/witnessed extreme punishments and aren't familiar, others label any type of hitting smacking

I genuinely have no real feelings about it. But I was only smacked rarely, I can only remember one or 2 occasions but imagine there were a few more. I was otherwise very well cared for and loved and my home life was in no way abusive.

I find those who were traumatized by it did not have loving home-lives outside of the smacking, and the smacking was simply a physical outpouring of the emotional abuse they also received.

I do not smack my children as disciplinary strategies have moved on, but I don't think a snack is always abusive.

Sorry, bold fail. I was quoting @LookAtMoiPloise as well as @FuckingFabulous

Yes. But I was smacked and punched and for 'making too much noise' eg having my stereo on volume 2 instead of 1 -or looking at my Dad funny.
Smacking comes with fear and the unbalance of control and yes it wa fucking traumatic.

It upsets me if I think about it for very long, or if I see a child being smacked. I was hit quite hard with shoes/slippers - enough to leave bruises - this continued into my early teens. At the time, corporal punishment was still allowed in schools, so it never occurred to me that it was 'wrong'.

I wasn't a badly behaved child/teen - I was a stay-at-home swot and never got hit at school or even given detention. I was perceived to be 'cheeky' at home although it was never intentional on my part.

I'm glad children are no longer parented like this.