Userxx yeah my mother used to fly after me and hit me with anything to hand, lock me in the garden at night, slap me across the face, humiliate me verbally, and I would wet myself with fear. It was called ‘getting a good hiding’ in the 70s.
I also used to think in was normal until recently, when I learnt that actually no, not every kid growing up in the 70s was hit by their parents.
My mother came from an unusually large abusive family, more than 16 siblings. She confided in me that her father sexually abused both her and the youngest sibs (twins). Considering his wife was pregnant every year no surprise there. I don’t know if my mother is a barefaced liar, she has a knack for turning things around to suit her story, It wouldn’t surprise me if it were true, the drama in this family is heinous -sociopaths, child abusers, adultery, paedophiles, so, it’s probably true.
But as an adult she blamed her behaviour with me on what she called her hormonal imbalance. Her ‘redhead temper’ dad used to say almost with pride. To my knowledge she never hit my siblings (we are steps, I had a different dad). My brother used to stand in front of her sometimes to prevent her hitting me.
I’ve no idea why. I was a quiet almost mute child, never said boo to a goose. I was happy in myself, but suspicious of physical affection so shunned it. Maybe she couldn’t stand my silence around her, I’ll never know, and don’t want to.
She gives me the creeps. Something must have gone very wrong early on for someone to say that about their own mother I suppose.
Anyway, smacking to any degree reinforces a message that violence is a tool to control someone. If you smack your kid, ‘light pat on the back of the legs’ or slapping your teen across his chops, it’s an act of violence. As evidenced on threads like this, we remember for the rest of our lives what you did to us, no matter how much you deny or try to justify it.