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AIBU?

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Original poster

Meeting for breakfast - Which of us is being unreasonable.

989 replies

Dandy008 · 02/09/2021 13:17

Im meeting a friend in a few weeks time who lives in a different part of the country to me.

We’ve arranged to have a day out.
It will be her and her husband, myself, my husband and our 18month old son.

As they live some distance, we have decided to book a hotel and stay over night.

My friend has asked me to book a hotel right by her house so that it’s less distance for her to travel to meet us the next day for breakfast.

I’ve agreed to this, even though we could get a cheaper hotel a bit further away.

We were chatting and she said she would come and meet us for breakfast at 10.30am

I explained that DS wakes around 6.30 and is ready for his breakfast at 7am.
I could probably distract him and at a big push take him down for breakfast at 8am

I also explained that it’s a 2 hour drive back home so Ideally we wanted to head home after an early breakfast.
There’s not much for DS to do in the hotel so once we’ve eaten it makes sense to leave.

She told me that 8am is too early for her and her husband (they don’t have kids) and that the best she can do is 10am.

I’ve suggested then that we skip breakfast and I will book a cheaper hotel a bit further away.

She’s since sent me a text telling me I’m being difficult and that my DS will be fine waiting for his breakfast until 10.30am for just one day.

I’m tempted to message back and say her and her husband will be fine having breakfast at 8am for just one day… 🙄

OP posts:
Potteringshed · 02/09/2021 13:52

Sounds like breakfast is a no-go. No one is being U exactly (tho she was a bit rude) but 8 am on a Sunday morning is unpleasantly early if you're not used to it and 10.30 am is clearly too late for you.

Suspect she's being grumpy because she's done the 10 am breakfast with other friends and doesn't get why it's different now with your DC. She could still be nicer about it.

gottastopeatingchocolate · 02/09/2021 13:52

It sounds like you just have different expectations. You booked an overnight to maximise your Saturday. She thought she'd be able to send some of Sunday with you.

I think I'd just respond that you'll be on the road by 10, so you'll just make the best of Saturday together. Then book the cheaper hotel to suit your family's needs.

LemonSwan · 02/09/2021 13:52

I am sorry I am with the friend.

I am not sure why you 4 grown people have to organise their breakfast around an 18mo who will have no living memory of said breakfast.

Feed the kid, go for a walk, meet for brunch.

ManifestDestinee · 02/09/2021 13:52

@Childrenofthestones

She sounds like a self obsessed arsehole. I'd be looking for new friends.
Because she doesn't want to go for breakfast on Sunday at 8am to suit a toddler? Hmm You're cracked.
Ugzbugz · 02/09/2021 13:52

Very annoying but yeah I would go for the hotel breakfast then meet her and just have tea or tea ans cake and she can have her brunch Hmm

BoredZelda · 02/09/2021 13:53

YANBU. 10.30 for breakfast?

YABU, 8am for breakfast on a Sunday?

Give toddler a snack when he wakes, have breakfast at a reasonable hour for a Sunday. We used to do this all the time when travelling with DD at that age because neither of us wanted to go down for breakfast early at a weekend.

TheWeatherWitch · 02/09/2021 13:53

Feed dc his breakfast at his regular time.
Meet friend for brunch/late adult breakfast around 10..00/10.30
Head home about 11.30/12.00
Arrive home about 14.00

You’ve gone a long way, at least make an effort to see your friend before you drive home.

SpiceWeaselBAM · 02/09/2021 13:54

Does the hotel have breakfast after 10? Most hotels I've stayed at stop breakfast at 10 or 10:30.

You should definitely give him a basic breakfast in the room early in the morning. It's ludicrous of her to suggest he should wait for breakfast, but nobody understands babies and toddlers until they have them, unless they are close to other babies in their family or work.

Is there really nowhere in driving distance of the hotel to take a toddler? You have two hours to kill, that's plenty of time to go out somewhere.

Mummyoflittledragon · 02/09/2021 13:54

The hotel is 30 minutes away from them which she’s said is too far from them

She’s being beyond unreasonable. She doesn’t have a child and can’t be arsed to drive 30 mins. Admittedly you’re going to see them and doing a child friendly activity, which costs them. But on the flip side, they’re not even putting you up.

In your place, I would say that won’t work for your ds. He will be a screaming mess so you’ll stay in the hotel with the pool so you have more to do the next day and that you’ll have breakfast at 8 then go for a swim. If she wants to join you for a coffee there at 10.30/11 it’s up to her otherwise you’ll see her soon.

Severntrent · 02/09/2021 13:55

Feed dc his breakfast at his regular time.
Meet friend for brunch/late adult breakfast around 10..00/10.30
Head home about 11.30/12.00
Arrive home about 14.00
This

RuggerHug · 02/09/2021 13:56

'DS can't wait that late to eat and we're only staying there because it suited you so tell you what, we'll eat breakfast at his time then call around to your place for elevenses when your husband is able to get up and get the pastries in'.

Miliao · 02/09/2021 13:56

Just stay at the cheap hotel, then go to the other hotel for breakfast. It will be 10 by the time you’ve given your child breakfast, sorted yourselves out and driven over there. I have a young child and even I wouldn’t want to go and meet a friend at 0800 for breakfast on a Sunday!

NerrSnerr · 02/09/2021 13:56

I'd have breakfast early and meet friend for a coffee and cake while they have breakfast and then head home.

OrangeBlossomsinthesun · 02/09/2021 14:00

Your DS doesn't need the hotel breakfast though. You can just take some breakfast type snacks for him to eat in the room and watch TV and colour in and so on and then meet her for breakfast at 10. I had early waking kids too but it's totally understandable she doesn't want to get up for breakfast at 8 am

TokenGinger · 02/09/2021 14:00

What would DS usually eat for breakfast? Could you take some he could eat in the room? I went to a hotel a few weeks ago just me and DS, and I knew he'd wake and want feeding by 8am and that I'd likely meet my friends afterwards for breakfast/brunch.

I took along one of those porridge pots that can be made with the kettle for him, a banana, some scotch pancakes that can be eaten cold and some fruit pouches. Also, I asked reception to store his yogurts in their fridge.

That worked really well for me because I admittedly didn't want to be going for breakfast very early either, but the only reason I would have done was to make sure he was fed.

Original poster
Dandy008 · 02/09/2021 14:01

You wouldn't suggest going out to dinner in a restaurant with friends at 5pm, would you? You need to be flexible if you want an adult social life, you can't make everything revolve around your DC.

Yes, I would. If I was meeting someone and it involved DC I would try and work it around his regular meal times (or as close as)

If I wanted it to be an adult thing, I would arrange to go without DS.
Either leave him with DH or we’d get a sitter so we could go out together.

Our sister in law has a birthday meal for her one year old at 7pm a few months ago.

I’d said i wasn’t going to go but several family members moaned and so we went.

DS was miserable and cried most of the time as he was tired and ready for bed!

OP posts:
fuzzymoomin · 02/09/2021 14:01

Stay in the cheaper hotel further away, have breakfast by yourselves, meet her mid-morning for brunch/early lunch.

Moltenpink · 02/09/2021 14:01

Well when we stayed in hotels when the kids were very small, we would pack some croissants and bananas for them for first thing, then have a leisurely big breakfast later on (best part of a hotel stay). However, that’s irrelevant if you want to head off early.

mynameisbrian · 02/09/2021 14:01

i would change the hotel to the cheaper one and cancel breakfast. Enjoy the saturday instead

fuzzymoomin · 02/09/2021 14:01

Meant to add: neither of you are being unreasonable, you both just have different lifestyles.

Phobiaphobic · 02/09/2021 14:02

So you slog all the way up to see her and pay for a more expensive hotel cos it's more convenient for her, and now she's calling you difficult? Christ on a bike, I'd be livid.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 02/09/2021 14:02

@Toddlerteaplease

Why head home, not have a day out on the way home. Can't you feed DS early and then you all Meet for breakfast. I wouldn't be keen on an 8am breakfast either!
8am is an ordinary breakfast time for most people, surely?

I usually have mine about 6.30, but am aware that I'm an early bird.

CrossUniStudent · 02/09/2021 14:03

So you're travelling two hours to see them, but they cba to travel 30 mins the next day for breakfast? Nah, just have your breakfast when it suits and go home.

daisyjgrey · 02/09/2021 14:04

You both sound like you're being difficult, for a multitude of reasons.

Tal45 · 02/09/2021 14:05

So you're driving two hours to see her, paying for a more expensive hotel so it's convenient for her and she still won't make the effort to get up early to meet you for breakfast?? Maybe it's time to reconsider the friendship. I often have breakfast at 10:30 but I would certainly have it early to make things easier for a friend who had come all that way to see me.