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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Meeting for breakfast - Which of us is being unreasonable.

989 replies

Dandy008 · 02/09/2021 13:17

Im meeting a friend in a few weeks time who lives in a different part of the country to me.

We’ve arranged to have a day out.
It will be her and her husband, myself, my husband and our 18month old son.

As they live some distance, we have decided to book a hotel and stay over night.

My friend has asked me to book a hotel right by her house so that it’s less distance for her to travel to meet us the next day for breakfast.

I’ve agreed to this, even though we could get a cheaper hotel a bit further away.

We were chatting and she said she would come and meet us for breakfast at 10.30am

I explained that DS wakes around 6.30 and is ready for his breakfast at 7am.
I could probably distract him and at a big push take him down for breakfast at 8am

I also explained that it’s a 2 hour drive back home so Ideally we wanted to head home after an early breakfast.
There’s not much for DS to do in the hotel so once we’ve eaten it makes sense to leave.

She told me that 8am is too early for her and her husband (they don’t have kids) and that the best she can do is 10am.

I’ve suggested then that we skip breakfast and I will book a cheaper hotel a bit further away.

She’s since sent me a text telling me I’m being difficult and that my DS will be fine waiting for his breakfast until 10.30am for just one day.

I’m tempted to message back and say her and her husband will be fine having breakfast at 8am for just one day… 🙄

OP posts:
glowfrog · 03/09/2021 21:01

So you're the one who's travelling to her and booking a more expensive hotel so she has less far to see you on the Sunday and YOU're the one being difficult?!

She's being an asshat.

HyggeTygge · 03/09/2021 21:18

God, OP, you're being SO DIFFICULT not listening to everyone on here who KNOWS your kid way better than you. Can't you just give them a novel to read or offer to drive your friend all around her town so she isn't inconvenienced?

(I had similar responses once on an old thread about family asking us to drive cross-country and back with baby and toddler on Christmas day, who didn't believe that a non-napping toddler might be screechy because we wouldn't be working around his naps, and someone suggested I just leave the 6mo baby watching TV in a high chair!!)

Have your day as you planned. They're being quite rude insisting you then abandon your plans the next day to join them in their immovable breakfast.

Blueroses99 · 03/09/2021 21:20

@Globaluser

Here’s a thought... feed your baby at 7am and then you could’ve met your friends for breakfast at 10am. The baby did not have to eat with the adults. The baby did not have to wait till 10:30 for their breakfast. Ffs that’s ridiculous!!
What’s the baby supposed to do for 4 hours between waking and the late breakfast? The OP has explained that there are no facilities in the hotel or immediate area.

(Sorry to pick you out, quite a few people have made this suggestion but it doesn’t solve the whole problem).

Original poster
Dandy008 · 03/09/2021 21:25

@Notgoingonholiday

But OP have you not yet considered giving your toddler porridge in the hotel room at 7, them getting him to watch TV and them having a leisurely breakfast at 10.30 with your friend? GrinGrin
@Notgoingonholiday

🤣🤣🤦🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
LunaBunaTuna · 03/09/2021 21:36

@Dandy008 I really don’t understand why you’re getting such a hard time here and having to repeat yourself over and over. Your posts are quite clear and I think think your friend is being a cheeky fucker.

Why on earth didn’t she invite you to theirs for breakfast? Or even just a coffee after you’ve had breakfast at the hotel SHE wants you to stay at. As far as I can see, she has made no compromises at all. It wouldn’t hurt her to get up a bit earlier for once to meet you for breakfast say at 8.30?

Good luck, whatever happens.

Ddot · 03/09/2021 21:36

Could you have breakfast then meet friends for coffee. I understand it's a bit early but you seem to be doing all the maneuvering

WindyScales · 03/09/2021 21:38

So what happened in the end? Have you messaged her back? I’m sure things are a bit awkward now. If it’s any consolation you do have my sympathies. She does sound like she’s being difficult and it’s not easy when you have a little one and staying in a hotel.

Notaordinarygirl · 03/09/2021 21:46

I think your friend is being unreasonable. To me 10:30 is brunch. Not breakfast.

You have a toddler. She needs to be a bit more flexible not you.
People who haven't had kids don't understand how much hard work they can be.

Wearethechampionsmyfriend · 03/09/2021 22:09

I agree with you OP, your friend is being unreasonable and trying to fit it all round her. Whatever anyone says you have an 18month old and as a mum would rather fit arrangements round him than a 'precious' adult, who invited herself on your day out. I'd probably cancel the whole thing but if you still want to go, stay in the cheaper hotel, meet your friend at the safari park and say goodbye at the end of the day, go back to the hotel and use all the amenities then go straight home from there the next day. I don't feel you'll cringe at this situation in a few years time, I think if your friend has children, she'll cringe at how unreasonable she was.

RockingMyFiftiesNot · 03/09/2021 22:13

I know my friend would’ve agreed to 9am.. we’ve done breakfast many of times before when we’ve stayed in hotels and this was always the time we’d agree for breakfast.

But in the OP you said she wanted to meet at 10:30, and the best she could do is 10. I have tried to read all of your posts but I am confused!

midsomermurderess · 03/09/2021 22:20

Jesus f'g Christ Windy. Does it all go straight over your blooming head?

WindyScales · 03/09/2021 22:22

Eh?!

WindyScales · 03/09/2021 22:24

So she said she’d booked the other hotel (with the pool). But what’s the plan, are they still meeting for breakfast 🤷🏻‍♀️

No need to be a dick @midsomermurderess

Peppermintpatty24 · 03/09/2021 22:36

Hold on. You are traveling 2 hours with a young child, putting yourself up in a hotel close to this "friend" to ease her life, and she can't even accommodate your request? 😳..... girl bye!

aimsi · 03/09/2021 22:41

I’d cancel the whole thing! But I’m super stubborn & abit petty
This would leave a sour taste & tarnish an otherwise lovely planned family day out.
She invited herself & is making the demands. You’re accommodating enough & have accepted an intrusion on your plans.
My son like routine & the things he liked, I wasn’t been a pfb mum I quickly realised he suffered & so did I, if I meddled. & it really wasn’t worth the upset & exhaustion. Pick your battles
Do what’s right for you and yours & if she’s not onboard tuff titties

Blackcat333 · 03/09/2021 22:51

I couldn't be arsed with any of this. Save the cash, have a nice day out closer to home... Sleep in your own bed and just don't bother.

midsomermurderess · 03/09/2021 22:57

Windy, read the op's posts. She sorted this out ages ago, properly ages ago. And so many people have pointed this out and how irritating it is that people don't read posts, then up you pop with your 'so, op what you doing?' That is frankly dickish.

skyisblue21 · 03/09/2021 23:05

I think your being U and rather difficult. So what if your child eats breakfast early, go down and feed him his breakfast then you have your breakfast with your friend at half 10. Just because you have a child doesn't mean you have to eat at the same time as your child. I have children too, so it's not like I don't know what am talking about.

TheJade · 03/09/2021 23:11

I’d probs give my boys brekkie at the normal time and then have my second brekkie with the friends as a brunch. They’d likely be ready for a snack by then!

Having said that I’m a people pleaser and just like to go with the flow.

I actually think he is a knob for the message tho. For saying your being difficult… 👊🏼👊🏼 Xx

HyggeTygge · 03/09/2021 23:11

Facepalm. Just facepalm.

Read

The

OP's

Posts

Lily78123 · 03/09/2021 23:28

YABU. Just give your child breakfast at the normal early hours and then have sociable breakfast and kiddo can have a snack. No adult in their right mind meets at 8am. I have kids.

Heartofglass12345 · 03/09/2021 23:30

This is hilarious, I have only read your posts but everyone is saying the same thing! I would give up if I were you Grin

LimeRedBanana · 03/09/2021 23:42

Jesus H… 😵‍💫

NumberTheory · 03/09/2021 23:43

@Lily78123

YABU. Just give your child breakfast at the normal early hours and then have sociable breakfast and kiddo can have a snack. No adult in their right mind meets at 8am. I have kids.
Hardly solves her issues re entertaining a

Hardly solves the issues with needing to leave early or what to do with a toddler for 5 hours in a hotel room with no outdoor space.

NumberTheory · 03/09/2021 23:45

@TheJade

I’d probs give my boys brekkie at the normal time and then have my second brekkie with the friends as a brunch. They’d likely be ready for a snack by then!

Having said that I’m a people pleaser and just like to go with the flow.

I actually think he is a knob for the message tho. For saying your being difficult… 👊🏼👊🏼 Xx

So you'd just leave your cat in the chattery past the time it's booked for?