Meeting for breakfast - Which of us is being unreasonable.

[Dandy008]

Im meeting a friend in a few weeks time who lives in a different part of the country to me.

We’ve arranged to have a day out.
It will be her and her husband, myself, my husband and our 18month old son.

As they live some distance, we have decided to book a hotel and stay over night.

My friend has asked me to book a hotel right by her house so that it’s less distance for her to travel to meet us the next day for breakfast.

I’ve agreed to this, even though we could get a cheaper hotel a bit further away.

We were chatting and she said she would come and meet us for breakfast at 10.30am

I explained that DS wakes around 6.30 and is ready for his breakfast at 7am.
I could probably distract him and at a big push take him down for breakfast at 8am

I also explained that it’s a 2 hour drive back home so Ideally we wanted to head home after an early breakfast.
There’s not much for DS to do in the hotel so once we’ve eaten it makes sense to leave.

She told me that 8am is too early for her and her husband (they don’t have kids) and that the best she can do is 10am.

I’ve suggested then that we skip breakfast and I will book a cheaper hotel a bit further away.

She’s since sent me a text telling me I’m being difficult and that my DS will be fine waiting for his breakfast until 10.30am for just one day.

I’m tempted to message back and say her and her husband will be fine having breakfast at 8am for just one day… 🙄

Josiah
You've at least softened off my annoyance about new posters not seeming to bother reading OPs posts ... didn't realise some other Posters can't.

I think just meet them for coffee at 10, and if they want to have something to eat with it - fine; you will have eaten, so you won't be breakfasting, unless you or DH feel like trying a little something.

Cheers Dangermouse, much appreciated

For those who can't read OPs updates nor read the latest posts and as it is a long thread ...

It is all resolved now !!!!

OP is staying at the better hotel a bit further away with the pool on Saturday night, eating breakfast at breakfast time with her toddler and DH and will get home on the 2 hour drive in time to pick up her cat at latest collection from Cattery before 12.30 deadline.

OP's friend is just meeting her for the all day Saturday day out adventure and the early evening Saturday meal which is plenty.

It's all ok!! And all dealt with!

And since then , there has been a discussion about how some apps for some phones for some Posters don't have the funnel icon filter button to be able to select out and see all of OP's post.

She sounds bone idle. This isn’t about the toddler but the fact she’s happy for you all to sit about for 4 hours in a hotel room till she can be bothered to get up. I wouldn’t want to do that with or without a toddler. I’d probably want to eat and get home too unless I was doing something else.

Who cares if it’s Sunday. You’ve travelled and therefore made the effort to come see her. It won’t kill her to meet you a bit bloody earlier.

DD was far easier if eating. Otherwise she’d want to be running about.

I was thinking a second breakfast too. And you can tell your friend isn’t a mum. Sounds self centered to me/

There will be no breakfast.

They’re not going to meet up.

It’s been resolved.

The OP didn’t expect her to come to breakfast - early or not.

Breakfast was purely the friend’s idea. The OP said, OK - but X time suits us lot Y, does that work?

No ‘weirdness’ at the beginning, middle or end.

You’re going out of your way to go and see her, spending money on it, etc. She is rude!

That said, I wouldn’t have suggested 8am for breakfast in your position, but if you’d suggested it to me and I were in her position, I’d have sucked it up and dealt with it for a day. Some people without kids have no idea (including me a few years ago).

Random add here but is she maybe desperate for a baby at the mo and getting the hump with people who have kids ?

You made the right decision OP. Your ‘friend’ sounds like she wants everything her way, even though you’re doing all the travelling. Hope it’s fun.

@Pregnantpeppa

Ok chill thread police. Didn’t notice 8 pages, Shoot me after years on Mumsnet. I can still comment if I want on original weirdness

I didn't see anybody shoot you down nor go thread police in you. What i did see is people comment on how it is frustrating when new posters don't read the latest posts or try to read the original post well nor try to filter out OPs posts. And how at the end of a 700 post thread you don't feel it is important to at least read a bit before commenting. And lately we have all had a discussion on how some PPs can't filter out to read at least OPs posts do that in their android version of the MN app.

@cornflakegirl

Give him breakfast when he wakes, go for a walk, have second breakfast at 10.30 with friends?

This.

Pregnantpeppa
And all of those posts you complain about of PPs saying please RTFT by far predated all your new posts!! On a 715 long thread.... just mentioning...

Hehe ! Maybe we should say again for the umpteenth time ..

IT IS ALL RESOLVED!!!

@Dandy008 I think you've done the right thing but I hope it doesn't spoil the day or your friendship (unless you aren't bothered) so I'd suggest if your friend brings it up that you just say to her 'oh I'd have ordinarily loved a later and longer breakfast but with DS here and being in a hotel, it would have been a nightmare trying to keep him from going up the walls to that time.
If you want to poke the bear. You could add
We've tried a couple of family occasions to move his meal times around but he's a bit like you, he's quite set in his ways about when it suits him to get up and when it suits him to eat.'

Anyone who doesn't have filter funnel on their app version to read OPs posts please skip to the end and read back a few pages- to realise it is resolved and all your question were answered fairly early on!

HTH !!!!

@multifriday - great idea, except the OP's already a) said multiple times that there is nothing to do near the hotel - it is on a main road so they'll likely be entertaining 18month old in hotel bedroom and b) its all resolved anyway, the OP updated ages ago!

I'm with DangerMouse'S suggestion

Can we play bingo at how many other new posters don't read the original post nor the latest posts and feel they really must comment to suggest something that is irrelevant to fix something that was long ago fixed in a very polite way. (Kudos to OP for her politeness to her friend!)

I had a rare day off so this is now light hearted sport for me.

Is it two points for a "your friend is asking too much" ? and 5 points for "meet your friend later for a coffee or late brunch ". ? I'd score the latter higher as it shows far less reading even of the original post at the start!

Is MN thread bingo allowed?

I might be very naughty to suggest MN bingo on this thread!!

It's just becoming entertaining...

(And bc it was all resolved so nicely multiple pages and hours ago. )

Here’s a thought... feed your baby at 7am and then you could’ve met your friends for breakfast at 10am. The baby did not have to eat with the adults. The baby did not have to wait till 10:30 for their breakfast. Ffs that’s ridiculous!!

I don't think DangerMouse said we ought do MN bingo on this thread, more a throwaway comment. But lol longhours

I might do it secretly - sssshhhhh!

It is really lovely to RTFT after a long day, to see things resolved by a kind OP.