Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Meeting for breakfast - Which of us is being unreasonable.

989 replies

Dandy008 · 02/09/2021 13:17

Im meeting a friend in a few weeks time who lives in a different part of the country to me.

We’ve arranged to have a day out.
It will be her and her husband, myself, my husband and our 18month old son.

As they live some distance, we have decided to book a hotel and stay over night.

My friend has asked me to book a hotel right by her house so that it’s less distance for her to travel to meet us the next day for breakfast.

I’ve agreed to this, even though we could get a cheaper hotel a bit further away.

We were chatting and she said she would come and meet us for breakfast at 10.30am

I explained that DS wakes around 6.30 and is ready for his breakfast at 7am.
I could probably distract him and at a big push take him down for breakfast at 8am

I also explained that it’s a 2 hour drive back home so Ideally we wanted to head home after an early breakfast.
There’s not much for DS to do in the hotel so once we’ve eaten it makes sense to leave.

She told me that 8am is too early for her and her husband (they don’t have kids) and that the best she can do is 10am.

I’ve suggested then that we skip breakfast and I will book a cheaper hotel a bit further away.

She’s since sent me a text telling me I’m being difficult and that my DS will be fine waiting for his breakfast until 10.30am for just one day.

I’m tempted to message back and say her and her husband will be fine having breakfast at 8am for just one day… 🙄

OP posts:
Tigger1895 · 03/09/2021 19:11

She doesn’t sound very friendly.

Madamum18 · 03/09/2021 19:13

I told her we would book a different hotel and still see her on the Saturday but we would skip breakfast with them the next day.

I thought that was the end of it until she text me telling me I’m being difficult…..

|She seems to want it all her own way doesnt she...where you stay so she doesnt have to travel too far; not getting up early just for one day; telling you are being difficult because you arent just agreeing to what she wants!

I would just tell her that as you will have spent the day together on the Saturday you will be staying at the hotel with the pool, having breakfast at about 8.00 and it is up to her whether she decided to come over and she will be welcome if she does. Tell her that you are not being difficult, just ensuring that you make the most of the weekend away with your partner and son as well as with her

She is being unreasonable!

JosiahJosiahKate · 03/09/2021 19:16

I haven't got the filter button on my version of the app.

jwpetal · 03/09/2021 19:16

Just take care of your family. You are seeing them Saturday. If you stay the night, choose the hotel that fits your family needs an let her know your plans. She then can decide from there.

Mummacake · 03/09/2021 19:18

Book the cheaper hotel,have your day out and dint worry about meeting for breakfast. Suit yourselves.

Dangermouse5 · 03/09/2021 19:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JacquelineCarlyle · 03/09/2021 19:21

Did you mean to post that @Dangermouse5? Some very strange substitutions there!

Dangermouse5 · 03/09/2021 19:21

Lolz wrong photo!!! GrinGrinShock

Dangermouse5 · 03/09/2021 19:21

@JacquelineCarlyle

Did you mean to post that *@Dangermouse5*? Some very strange substitutions there!
They were definitely weird substitutions !
JacquelineCarlyle · 03/09/2021 19:22

How on earth do they substitute Harpic for Wotsits Grin

JosiahJosiahKate · 03/09/2021 19:22

I don't think they have the funnel filter for Android, just iPhone. Thanks though.

Mumtoalmost4 · 03/09/2021 19:23

She won’t travel to another hotel 30 minutes away but wants to have breakfast with you and expects you to stay somewhere convenient for her? She’s being difficult, not you. Book the cheaper hotel with the pool and tell her not to bother with the breakfast.

midsomermurderess · 03/09/2021 19:25

The filter function does work on android phones.

Mummyoflittledragon · 03/09/2021 19:25

Have you had a response from her?

Dangermouse5 · 03/09/2021 19:27

@JosiahJosiahKate

I haven't got the filter button on my version of the app.
Does this show it better ok? (& isn't my weird online substitution shopping list Grin!) It's a funnel button at the top.

So android app doesn't have this or does? iPhone does have this button to select our OP posts...

Meeting for breakfast - Which of us is being unreasonable.
Dangermouse5 · 03/09/2021 19:31

@JacquelineCarlyle

How on earth do they substitute Harpic for Wotsits Grin
Well that is a good question as was the caraway seeds substitute for spaghetti pasta. 😆😆 it gave me a laugh at the time.. (hence it is in my screenshots!) unsure how I managed to get the wrong photo as it wasn't what I selected.
NumberTheory · 03/09/2021 19:33

OP I think you're friends being unreasonable but it may not be for the bad reasons you're sometimes expressing on here. After all, she's following your lead on the Saturday and not complaining or trying to change it.

If she often goes to this hotel for a late breakfast, she may just want to share that with you, because she loves it and she thinks you will too. She may want a bit of the "old" friendship she had and be trying to rekindle some of that with a leisurely, late breakfast. And, not having kids, doesn't really understand why it's difficult for you to try and keep an 18 month old entertained for half a day in a hotel room with no open space nearby. And, not having an old pet, doesn't really understanding why anyone would actually need to be home early on a Sunday. Because, lets face it, those were great days weren't they - when you could go somewhere for the weekend, meet up for a leisurely brunch, maybe let it morph into something else, or head to the pub after for a Sunday afternoon pint? It was great not worrying about getting back to sort things out, or take it easy because you're totally exhausted, or because you had responsibilities, etc. wasn't it? It was lovely being able to do that. You must have had great times with friends, possibly this friend, and she probably just wants a bit of that again.

So I don't think you should accommodate her (even if you tried, it wouldn't be the adult brunch you'd have had pre-kids). But maybe appreciate what she's trying recreate by pushing you to acquiesce. And think if there's a way for you to go up alone sometime, if that's something you wouldn't mind recapturing a bit yourself.

Dangermouse5 · 03/09/2021 19:34

@JosiahJosiahKate

I don't think they have the funnel filter for Android, just iPhone. Thanks though.
Did you find it? You have to clock in my photo to see the full thing and the top of it.

Do you have it in your app?

It's such a shame if android don't have it as it really helps !

Couchbettato · 03/09/2021 19:35

This is definitely not a friendship I'd want to invest in.

I'd suggest putting your foot down and explaining that all the compromising is coming from you, that you paid more to be closer to her on her recommendation because she was unwilling to travel to a cheaper one with better entertainment options, that it's a 2 hour journey back home with a child, and now to boot she can't just get up earlier for one single day.

If she doesn't respond understandingly, then I'd probably not put any more effort into this relationship and let it fizzle out.

JosiahJosiahKate · 03/09/2021 19:37

Dangermouse, nope. No filter for me on the android version. Have tried uploading a pic but now it won't bleddy let me.

Will bugger off now as am very conscious of being a thread derailer. Thanks for trying to help though.

Lolabray · 03/09/2021 19:40

God why are you going to see this person? She sounds horrible!

Dangermouse5 · 03/09/2021 19:45

@JosiahJosiahKate

Dangermouse, nope. No filter for me on the android version. Have tried uploading a pic but now it won't bleddy let me.

Will bugger off now as am very conscious of being a thread derailer. Thanks for trying to help though.

Awww bless you!

You are forgiven for being an accidental thread derailer as it Is a long thread and if you can't filter out, I can see why you were trying to help. Be reassured it is all ok now. Thanks
Are you able to upside down the thread with the two arrows? That is so helpful too...

Sometimes if you can't upside down it, you can select out to skip to the last 6 or so pages... that can be helpful too... 😀

LoisLane66 · 03/09/2021 19:46

Unbelievable!! 😡
I'd stamp on her attitude right away, no shit.
You are right, she is an awkward madam.
Just say 'No can do'.
She has no kids so what gives her the right to say that your son can wait until 10.30 to eat.
No no no.

twinmum2007 · 03/09/2021 19:46

@cornflakegirl

Give him breakfast when he wakes, go for a walk, have second breakfast at 10.30 with friends?
This seems sensible. Ypur DS won;t know that 10:30 am is supposed to be your friends' 'breakfast', surely he'll think it's just snack time or something. Even without my kids, with that timescale I would be ready for second breakfast by 10.30!
Queenbee77 · 03/09/2021 19:47

She is a friend? My friends come to stay in my house where I cook them breakfast! Yes of course if they want to have their privacy they are welcome to stay in a hotel. But I will happily move out of my bedroom for my friends! If they came with a baby I would work around that too. Jeez some people are difficult to please. If you really really want to see them. Give your son breakfast in your room and treat the. " breakfast " as his lunch. If he plays up whilst your are eating...keep saying well its cos he is having a late breakfast😜lol.
If they dont have children they will be like my sister who thinks children should be seen and not heard.....yea she has no children either.