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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to think this is a well known scam?

265 replies

EvaRoad · 30/08/2021 20:15

....or have I just been unlucky? (Name changed as too outing)

At the end of July my girlfriend dropped her phone and it broke "beyond repair". She was distraught, did not know what she was going to do and needed a new phone. I suggested she asked her friends or asked her family but ultimately she made it clear that if I didn't get her a phone then she would not be able to contact me anymore. I was in a difficult position, her birthday was coming up, so I eventually relented and purchased her a new phone on a contract. Anyway, I never got to see the phone, as she kept on making excuses not to see me, and then last week she said she had "got back with her ex", didn't want to see me again, and blocked me. Obviously she's still got the phone and I've now got to pay for the rest of the contract.

What really gets me is that this is the second time this has happened to me, my previous girlfriend did something similar, breaking up with me within a few weeks of getting her a new phone a couple of years back.

So is this a well known scam, or have I just been unlucky? Do girls really drop their phones as often as they say?

OP posts:
Beautiful3 · 30/08/2021 21:25

It's your fault for allowing this to happen. People can ask for stuff, but it's down to you to say no. Learn from this and move on, but never sign a contract on anyone's behalf.

Meraas · 30/08/2021 21:30

@Beautiful3

It's your fault for allowing this to happen. People can ask for stuff, but it's down to you to say no. Learn from this and move on, but never sign a contract on anyone's behalf.
A bit of victim blaming here. OP acted in good faith, his ex is a using twat.

OP, get that phone blocked and try get it back via police. Threaten her that you will charge her with theft if she doesn’t return the phone (after you’ve blocked it).

Original poster
EvaRoad · 30/08/2021 21:32

It appears I was "unblocked" this evening so I have asked what she wanted to do about the phone. I'm trying to keep it civil.

OP posts:
Anon778833 · 30/08/2021 21:32

Whaaat? How long were you together??? Definitely get it blocked. What scroungers those women were.

Anon778833 · 30/08/2021 21:33

@EvaRoad

It appears I was "unblocked" this evening so I have asked what she wanted to do about the phone. I'm trying to keep it civil.

Civil????? Um no. This is where you're going wrong! Stop letting people shit on you.

Sparklfairy · 30/08/2021 21:34

@ghostyslovesheets

I mean this kidney - honestly I think you need a bit more of a build up before asking for organs
That's probably where I'm going wrong tbh Grin
ISpyCobraKai · 30/08/2021 21:35

I don't understand, how long was she your GF for?
Surely not long if it was only for a phone.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 30/08/2021 21:36

I’m sorry but why would you get someone a contract phone in your name? Maybe buy someone a phone outright as a gift (one you could afford) but I’d never take a contract that wasn’t for me.

If she doesn’t come back to you with payment or return the phone, block the SIM as others have said. No way should she get to use it.

These people who’ve taken advantage of you are absolute shits.

Anon778833 · 30/08/2021 21:36

@Beautiful3

It's your fault for allowing this to happen. People can ask for stuff, but it's down to you to say no. Learn from this and move on, but never sign a contract on anyone's behalf.

Don't listen to this. It's just another person who joined MN thinking that the point of responding on here is to always look for ways for it to be the OP's fault.

ShellyShore · 30/08/2021 21:37

Don't feel bad about being a nice person, op.

MadeOfStarStuff · 30/08/2021 21:39

Why on earth were you gullible enough to fall for this twice?!

Adults can pay for their own mobile phones. If they can’t afford a contract then they can get a cheap PAYG. If you wanted to be really nice and they were struggling financially you could give them a cheap PAYG. No one with any sense would sign up for a phone contract for something they’d not been dating long.

fuzzymoomin · 30/08/2021 21:40

Do you have anything in writing (emails, texts?) to say that the phone was a gift? If not, plead ignorance that it was obviously meant as a loan. Apply to the small claims court (or Judge Rinder!). Don't buy phones for anyone else. A clear test of a good relationship would be them NOT asking you to buy a phone!

Original poster
EvaRoad · 30/08/2021 21:43

For those saying I was gullible, how else would you respond to the line "You would do it if you really loved me?"

OP posts:
phishy · 30/08/2021 21:43

@EvaRoad

For those saying I was gullible, how else would you respond to the line "You would do it if you really loved me?"
I would dump them there abs then.

How old are you, Op?

user1471447863 · 30/08/2021 21:44

At the end of July my girlfriend dropped her phone and it broke "beyond repair". She was distraught, did not know what she was going to do and needed a new phone..

Distraught over a broken phone? Sounds like you are better off without little miss hysterics.

did not know what she was going to do - maybe buy a new one herself? depending on budget that could mean checking out cash converters, the apple store, ebay fb market place or asking friends and family what they have knocking about in the back of a drawer. Needs to brush up on her problem solving skills (or maybe not)

Don't fall for it a 3rd time please. If a relatively new partner starts demanding money or expensive gifts something isn't right and that's your cue to get out.

Anon778833 · 30/08/2021 21:45

People do things like this when they care about someone. Cut the OP some slack.

EyesAsGreenAsAFreshPickledToad · 30/08/2021 21:45

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

SweetToothsAntlers · 30/08/2021 21:45

As she's blocked you, you can't have a conversation about transferring the contract to her or asking her to purchase the contract. You've got no options really apart from paying for this woman's phone for 11 months or reporting it stolen. You can just say you were loaning it to her while you were in a relationship, but that she's taken it and blocked you. Once it's reported stolen, you can blacklist it with the IMEI via the carrier and it won't work any more.

If you know where she is, you could contact her and ask for it to be returned to prevent needing to do this. It seems extreme, but she didn't suddenly realise you weren't compatible. She strung you along to get the phone, so only you can decide whether you're going to let her profit from it or not.

Daisylg · 30/08/2021 21:46

“For those saying I was gullible, how else would you respond to the line "You would do it if you really loved me?"…

Erm try, “ if you loved me you wouldn’t emotionally blackmail me?”

Get the phone blocked. Learn from it this time

JulesCobb · 30/08/2021 21:46

@EvaRoad

For those saying I was gullible, how else would you respond to the line "You would do it if you really loved me?"
‘And you wouldn't ask for such an expensive item if you really loved me.’
MadeOfStarStuff · 30/08/2021 21:46

I would respond by telling them to pay for their own bloody mobile phone!

I wouldn’t want to be with someone who would dump me for not signing up to spend hundreds of pounds on something for them that they should pay for themselves as an independent adult.

Hugoslavia · 30/08/2021 21:47

Be sure that when you text her you do not state in writing or agree that it was a gift! Rather than you agreed to purchase a phone which she could use/borrow for the purpose of keeping in touch with you whilst in a relationship.

TartanJumper · 30/08/2021 21:47

@MadeOfStarStuff

Why on earth were you gullible enough to fall for this twice?!

Adults can pay for their own mobile phones. If they can’t afford a contract then they can get a cheap PAYG. If you wanted to be really nice and they were struggling financially you could give them a cheap PAYG. No one with any sense would sign up for a phone contract for something they’d not been dating long.

I've been in similar positions to the OP with family. It's not easy to say no, and it's not the OPs fault that the people took advantage of their good nature.
fuzzymoomin · 30/08/2021 21:47

@EvaRoad

For those saying I was gullible, how else would you respond to the line "You would do it if you really loved me?"
"If you really loved me you wouldn't ask"
stevalnamechanger · 30/08/2021 21:48

Get it blocked as stolen 😂