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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to think this is a well known scam?

265 replies

EvaRoad · 30/08/2021 20:15

....or have I just been unlucky? (Name changed as too outing)

At the end of July my girlfriend dropped her phone and it broke "beyond repair". She was distraught, did not know what she was going to do and needed a new phone. I suggested she asked her friends or asked her family but ultimately she made it clear that if I didn't get her a phone then she would not be able to contact me anymore. I was in a difficult position, her birthday was coming up, so I eventually relented and purchased her a new phone on a contract. Anyway, I never got to see the phone, as she kept on making excuses not to see me, and then last week she said she had "got back with her ex", didn't want to see me again, and blocked me. Obviously she's still got the phone and I've now got to pay for the rest of the contract.

What really gets me is that this is the second time this has happened to me, my previous girlfriend did something similar, breaking up with me within a few weeks of getting her a new phone a couple of years back.

So is this a well known scam, or have I just been unlucky? Do girls really drop their phones as often as they say?

OP posts:
Original poster
EvaRoad · 30/08/2021 22:29

Apparently I did not do enough for her when her uncle died. That's her excuse. Her final message "I don't see you doing things that I want. So...."

OP posts:
camelfinger · 30/08/2021 22:32

She’s a bastard. Get it blocked. If anyone asks you for a phone, get them to buy themselves a cheap shit one while they pay for a new one. Hope you have better experiences in the future OP.

Original poster
EvaRoad · 30/08/2021 22:32

My reply: "OK I can understand all of that. I still took out a new phone contract for you in my name. If you decide not to continue with us after just four weeks, I want my phone back. I don't think that is unreasonable."

OP posts:
EspressoDoubleShot · 30/08/2021 22:33

Look stop fannying about disable the phone. You’ll get no sense out of your ex
It’s your phone you’re stuck with the financial commitment but you can disable the phone

phishy · 30/08/2021 22:33

Op, text her:

‘I want the phone returned to me by 5pm tomorrow. If you don’t return it, I will file a report with the police that you stole the phone from me. I’ve also blocked the phone so you won’t be able to use it anyway. Once you’ve returned the phone, NEVER contact me again or I will report you for harassment.’

Regularsizedrudy · 30/08/2021 22:35

Why are you trying to reason with someone who has scammed you?

I honestly don’t mean to be offensive but do you have any additional needs? How old are you? You don’t seem to be understanding what has happened here

Hadjab · 30/08/2021 22:35

@EvaRoad

For those saying I was gullible, how else would you respond to the line "You would do it if you really loved me?"
Umm, tell her to piss off 🤷🏼‍♀️
cactijones · 30/08/2021 22:35

@phishy yes! Say that OO

Confusedandshaken · 30/08/2021 22:36

@EvaRoad

For those saying I was gullible, how else would you respond to the line "You would do it if you really loved me?"
This is a line often used by abusers (and mainly male abusers). The appropriate response is 'If you loved me you wouldn't ask this of me'

It's sad you have got caught up with two abusive women. That doesn't mean most women are abusive, I've never heard of this scam before. Learn from your misfortune and don't fall for these horrible lines again.

MadeForThis · 30/08/2021 22:36

If you ask the network to blacklist the imei number the phone won't work with any sim she puts in it. Paperweight.

You could speak to the network to see if they could move you onto a lower tariff.

If the contract SIM card you are currently using is due to expire you could cancel that number and use the new sim that came with her phone. At least you would only be paying for one contract then.

The network will not move the bill in to her name. They will not cancel the contract unless you also return the phone. And usually only within the first 14 days.

TartanJumper · 30/08/2021 22:36

I wouldn't even get into conversation with her further.
"I'm going to get the phone disabled tomorrow" and block her. And then do it.
You'll probably still have to pay the contract, but at least she won't get the benefit of it.

Ifyouarehappyandyouknowit21 · 30/08/2021 22:36

Wow. What a bitch. She sounds very immature. Get the phone blocked.

Sorry you've been fooled twice. Don't be fooled a third time.

EspressoDoubleShot · 30/08/2021 22:37

Disable the phone. Stop being civil. Cancel her phone
See what the penalty clause is for exit from the contract

Flyingantday · 30/08/2021 22:40

Could you tell her she needs to buy you out of the contract otherwise you block it… try to recoup some of the money?

EspressoDoubleShot · 30/08/2021 22:44

Look, fight back
No negotiations
No more being civil
No pleading or reaching out
deny her use of the thing she extorted from you eg the phone

Original poster
EvaRoad · 30/08/2021 22:44

Had a reply "Well you are very childish. Can't believe you. Bye. Made me really want to forget you. Now that's it." I don't feel great at the moment.

OP posts:
Zeldaaa · 30/08/2021 22:45

@EvaRoad

For those saying I was gullible, how else would you respond to the line "You would do it if you really loved me?"
‘No.’

You say this has happened twice? I think you’re being too liberal with your money. I don’t know any other woman who would think it’s reasonable for their boyfriends to take out a phone contract for them.

EspressoDoubleShot · 30/08/2021 22:46

Disable the phone
Stop.contacting her
Deny her use of the phone. Stop being a doormat

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 30/08/2021 22:46

Instead of spending money on phones you want to be paying someone for a pair of orbs and a spine.

phishy · 30/08/2021 22:47

@EvaRoad

Had a reply "Well you are very childish. Can't believe you. Bye. Made me really want to forget you. Now that's it." I don't feel great at the moment.
Have you tried sending one of the umpteen texts suggested upthread? Or are you hoping she’ll magically want to get back together again?
slashlover · 30/08/2021 22:47

What id the point of this when you are ignoring everyone?

PurpleOkapi · 30/08/2021 22:48

Having a girlfriend isn't like buying a house. You don't need to put down a deposit to show that you're serious.

phishy · 30/08/2021 22:50

@EvaRoad

Apparently I did not do enough for her when her uncle died. That's her excuse. Her final message "I don't see you doing things that I want. So...."
She’s been watching too much Schitt’s Creek. Their use ‘So’ as a whole sentence way too much.
steppemum · 30/08/2021 22:54

@EvaRoad

For those saying I was gullible, how else would you respond to the line "You would do it if you really loved me?"
the reply is - if you really loved me you wouldn't be so mercenary as to demand a phone! Or so crass as to want me to show it with money.

love is not about how much money you spend, it is about relationship

ever heard the expression - its the thought that counts?
One small present which is absolutely the right one, is worth more than diamonds.

OhRene · 30/08/2021 22:56

If it's in your name you can report it lost or stolen and get it blocked. If it's in her name and the direct debits are coming from your account, stop them.

Not exactly rocket science.