So we have made friends with the people staying next door and this afternoon took the kids (with the neighbours and their kids) to the local 'adventure park'. Which includes one of those multi coloured "air pillows" you can run across and bounce on.
DD, Alyssa and the little ones, and the neighbours' kids all ran towards the air pillows with Alyssa screaming 'me first, me first'. DD got there first.
Alyssa absolutely lost it. Came back saying "Emma [my DD for the purposes of this conversation] promised I could go first and SHE went first" then cried for ages. I didn't really believe DD would agree to her going first.
I said well go on and play then, it doesn't matter who goes first and by sitting it out she's only punishing herself. She said "No because Emma and Neighbours Kids are bow on and will have had longer than me and THATS NOT FAIR" (she actually screamed the last bit, people stared, neighbours were 
). My friend cradled her like a baby saying "poor you" and "oh dear that's awful" 
if had enough and told Alyssa there's no point getting upset when she could instead go and play. She turned to me and said "Go and talk to your daughter and tell her how upset I am" 
I swear word for word. I said no of course I won't! So my friend said "Why don't you talk to her Alyssa and I'll go with you".
How fucking intimidating is that!!! An adult and child approaching my 9yo to have a go ag her.
But off they went and I thought actually I want to see how DD handles this and I'll only step in if needed.
Well Alyssa SCREAMED at my DD and said she shouldn't be bouncing and playing when she (Alyssa) is so upset and crying. DD was too busy attempting backflips and said she'll speak to her when she's done. Alyssa basically got in her face and said "NO you WILL talk to me right now!"
DD said she did NOT promise her she could go first, She actually wanted to go first too and she's not gonna stop playing just because Alysda's decided she doesn't want to play anymore. To which Alyssa screamed I hate you and stomped off back to our picnic table.
She then ranged about how awful DD and she hates her and DD is a terrible nasty friend. To which my friend stroked her hair and said "I know darling poor you" 
I said to her this is a ridiculous over reaction about an air pillow and she should just go and play but she can't expect DD not to play.
To which my friend said "Well it seems playing on the air pillows matters more to Emma than Alyssa's feelings". I said what's wrong with that - she said Alyssa is sensitive. To which I replied that doesnt mean my DD has to put up with her 'sensitive' tantrums, it's DD's holiday too and she's entitled to fun on her final full day not be pandering to Alyssa.
Alyssa was actually shaking with rage at this point and said DD is nasty. At this point the neighbours stepped in and tried to calm things but my friend refused to see my DD as anything other than a cold hearted cow because she wouldn't grovel for doing absolutely nothing wrong.
I told friend she was out of order confronting my DD over a tiny issue. She said I was out of order for not stepping in and making DD consider Alyssa's feelings.
DD said to me later that she never promised a thing, she just went to play on the air pillows and the next thing she knew her so called friend was screaming in her face with her mum behind her telling DD to apologise. She didn't. I said I was really proud of her for handling it so well.
Anyway we agreed to spend the remainder
of the day separately and they left the park. The neighbours stayed with me and were gobsmacked at Alyssa and friends behaviour. I don't know where friend and her kids went but I went back to the cottage to get ready as we all (me and neighbours) went to the pub with our kids, and I've just got back as DS fell asleep and DD was nodding off in the beer garden (which had a playground so they weren't bored). I spilled my guts out and they were very good and understanding company.
Came back and firmed and her DD's were in bed. I need to sober up and leave first thing I haven't even packed!!!