To not want an awake child around at 11pm when I'm on holiday PART DEUX

[FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop]

First thread

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/4332702-to-not-want-an-awake-child-around-at-11pm-when-i-m-on-holiday

@Mulhollandmagoo

I'm pleased I stumbled across this thread!!! I had previously decided to adopt 'gentle parenting' and I've now changed my mind 😂

Excellent!

@PartyPotato it is in no way cute, her name is JUMANJI and if you sit outside and wiggle your toes it decides you are several worms and charges at you. She's a pain in the...toes.

I don't know what dobble is either but I pre-emptively hate it on principle.

@Crockof just a really shitty non-descript card game to be honest 😂

@SpidersAreShitheads

I am going to comment in defence of gentle parenting because it’s got a right bashing over the entirety of the threads.

I’ve got 11yr old twins and I don’t raise my voice. Not ever. They are both kind and well-behaved. They understand what’s expected of them and why. I’ve always talked to them when a problem has occurred. We have boundaries- and they absolutely understand that I will not hesitate to follow through if they are broken. Less punishment, more natural consequences if that makes sense.

Both my two are autistic and have a collection of associated conditions too. Maybe that makes a difference, I don’t know? But gentle parenting has really worked for us and created a home which is peaceful and calm - something which is desperately needed with three autistic people in the house (I’m autistic too). It took me a while to figure out the right approach but gentle parenting really works for us. We’re not all shit parents with feral children 😂

Reading this thread I feel utterly infuriated with OP’s friend and Alyssa sounds awful. I would 100% have toddled off to my room with wine, snacks and Netflix probably much sooner than OP. Clearly OP and I disagree on lots of things about parenting but we’re all different aren’t we? I know what works for my kids and OP knows what works for hers. Neither of us have kids who are selfish or bratty so that shows there’s not a single right way to parent. Gentle parenting CAN be incredibly effective - but that doesn’t mean being a pushover. A child who is “unwell with tummy ache” doesn’t get to come downstairs and play with makeup at 10pm 😳😳😳 That’s not gentle parenting, that’s shit parenting.

As I posted on the other thread, I suspect most parents do it "gently" unless they are abusive. But some people seem to think that Gentle Parenting means Pushover Parenting or Never Say No.

@Yesitsbess she sounds like a bad bitch

@MeridianB

Chances are this whole week ends with Op and 3breakfasts feeling exhausted, heading to bed and leaving Alyssa sipping wine and watching Netflix downstairs…..

Many a true word is spoken in jest. 👍🏻

DH just moaned at me because I bought a flavour of ice cream that I like but he doesn’t. I told him I thought he’d just fall asleep as usual and I’d end up eating it alone. Ten minutes later…. He’s asleep. This is why he doesn’t get ice cream. Punishment.

Sorry I thought that might be more interesting than what’s going on here.

As I posted on the other thread, I suspect most parents do it "gently" unless they are abusive. But some people seem to think that Gentle Parenting means Pushover Parenting or Never Say No.

I think it is one of those things where identifying as a 'gentle parent's does probably mean you see it a bit differently to most people and that it means certain things to you, even if many other people do similar things without the label. Just like people who 'babywear', 'do baby-led weaning' and 'have a family bed' are a bit different to people who use a sling, give their babies all finger foods and let their kids in their bed if they want to be there. Even though the actual practice is the same turning it into a deliberate ethos does mean it takes on a different status and importance and people who do it are to some extent deliberately marking themselves as 'not like the other parents'.

Yesitsbess ooo thanks! Super cute hedgehog! 🦔🦔🦔

Jumanji has made up for everything

I like Dobble

I’ll get my coat ….

Where is the OP

My DH and I went to bed at 10pm tonight to get away from our guest's pre-teen who was determined to hold court amid the adults and interrupt her mother every time she dared to talk. Fucking nightmare.

The OP has not posted since the poster who mentioned her friend who texted about struggling with her child with anxiety, praising the supportive mum she was holidaying with. The OP’s last post was 20 minutes before that and she hasn’t posted since. Now of course, it could be a coincidence….

I am sending Jumanji by express delivery to anyone who wants the bitey bastard thing. She's only alive because Pam Ayres would be upset with me if we weren't nice to her.

I now feel like the warm-up act before OP comes sliding in at midnight, swishing her gown and declaring she's had a wonderful evenink

@Hardbackwriter

As I posted on the other thread, I suspect most parents do it "gently" unless they are abusive. But some people seem to think that Gentle Parenting means Pushover Parenting or Never Say No.

I think it is one of those things where identifying as a 'gentle parent's does probably mean you see it a bit differently to most people and that it means certain things to you, even if many other people do similar things without the label. Just like people who 'babywear', 'do baby-led weaning' and 'have a family bed' are a bit different to people who use a sling, give their babies all finger foods and let their kids in their bed if they want to be there. Even though the actual practice is the same turning it into a deliberate ethos does mean it takes on a different status and importance and people who do it are to some extent deliberately marking themselves as 'not like the other parents'.

I agree

DD2 (DC3) is a twinless twin as her sister died in utero. I am convinced thats why she was very clingy as a baby (more so than any of my others). So I carried her in a sling until she was too heavy for me to carry (almost 4 yrs!) this was 19 years ago. I was also very focussed on her needs as she really did get distressed if she was alone for any period of time, sharing a bedroom with her sister helped so thankfully sleep wasnt an issue. I wasnt "othering" us, just doing what worked for my DD, but now I suppose I would be all over SM about my attachment parenting and babywearing!

Well.... I am off to bed, feeling like we're all ghosted for tonight at least.

come the fuck on OP

Hopefully OP is too pissed to type, preferably with friend rather than alone, yet again.

This is like going to watch the last episode of something you've been downloading on Sky and finding the series expired and you've missed it.

I reckon the friend found the thread (or got given a heads up by another friend/MN-er.

They are rowing it out over wine.

Jumanji is now doing that thing that dogs do when they pretend they haven't stolen all the cat food.

Is nobody bored enough to like my ice cream anecdote

Totally agree @Hardbackwriter...we have a carrier rather than a sling, I b fed, the baby shared my bed up to 3 months because it made sense for us at the time and we did move to solids as soon as poss but we did also give purees until he became more accomplished at hitting the target. Agree though that the need to label oneself does mean that there is more importance placed on it as a way of life.

I'm hoping and praying the lack of update means @FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop is paralytic with her friend.