Ex won’t let me move away

[Fomo41]

I’ve always wanted to live in the countryside-always. I’d love to move just over an hour away from where I live now. Problem is, my ex says he’ll stop me as we have 2 DC together and says ‘he has things in place legally to prevent the move’. Can he actually stop me? It would be England to wales but only an hour or so drive

Think of it this way: in a 50/50 arrangement, Dad suddenly ups and leaves with the kids one day and moves far enough away that he has to enrol them into a different school (behind mum’s back) and this is also far enough away that mum won’t be able to take them to school so has to reduce her time with them to weekends only.

It’s exactly the same scenario. You’d (rightly) expect a judge to return the children to mum in this situation, so this is no different.

Is it likely to be different if the dad does not have 50/50 care but has EOW and half holidays?

I guess a dad with EOW might be much less likely to want or be able to have the kids to live with him. So unless he was willing to be primary carer, he can't realistically stop the other parent moving if they decide they're determined to go (since any court order would only apply to the children not the parent).

If the area is horrible could you not move somewhere closer that is a nicer area. It would not be fair on the kids or your ex to be that far.

Are you in Bristol? Lots of nice areas in the outskirts.

Despite how much you don't like your ex, it sounds like the children do. So I don't think it would be fair to uproot them away from him.

He's probably jealous of your new relationship.

@Goldbar

I guess a dad with EOW might be much less likely to want or be able to have the kids to live with him. So unless he was willing to be primary carer, he can't realistically stop the other parent moving if they decide they're determined to go (since any court order would only apply to the children not the parent).

This is it really, though it’s still essential to have this conversation about consent, mediation and ultimately a court order. If it was already EOW however and the move was only an hour away so the usual pattern of time wouldn’t be affected, it’s much more likely that the court would grant permission if it came to it.

@SpareBread

Is it likely to be different if the dad does not have 50/50 care but has EOW and half holidays?

This would be different because an hour's drive is still doable under those conditions, it doesn't make a huge difference at all.

But if you've got 50/50 or any time with the children during the week, then a 2 hour round trip to get them to school in the morning and trying to fit that in with your own job too is pretty much impossible. It effectively means the 2nd parent is cut out of weekday time with the children.