CF part two. Voldemutt and the philosopher's bone

[Purplewishes]

Can't actually believe this has needed a second thread.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4331756-CF-DSD-DSDs-mum-and-dog

For any new stragglers jumping on for the ride I will try and summerise.
DSD has a dog at her mum's. Dog pisses and shits on the floor.
I'm up to my tits with my own kids with a toddler and newborn twins.
DH ex asked me to walk dog, I said absolutely fucking not.
Been lies and twisted truths about who's looking after dog.
DHs ex has fucked off on holiday anyway.
dSD has taken responsibility for walking dog but need DH to ferry her back and forward
Dog has now been renamed as voldemutt
DH has been told if voldemutt crosses the door he will be drop kicked out the door.
Once again to reiterate I'm having fuck all to do with voldemutt and plan to just sit back and watch the drama unfold (while drinking wine)

So where did we leave off?
DH took DSD at half 5 to her house to walk the dog before school no problem. The plan we were told was that a nice caring neighbour was going to walk voldemutt while DSD at school.

I was out with twins today with a friend with the buggys and we went a scenic route (this was about half 11) and who do I see walking voldemutt??????? DSD.

DSD should be at school (were in Scotland) so I'm guessing that DSD has dogged school in order to be there to walk voldemutt and there was never a neighbour involved. Now DSD didn't see me and I haven't mentioned it to her or to DH yet but I have full intentions of asking her how her day at school was when she gets home and then firing a million detailed questions about her day to see at what point she admits she was not at school.

Hertsgirl10

She will win in the end by understanding that she must stick to the rules and boundaries, not lie and hopefully will also win by not turning out like the devious and entitled mum of hers.

Can’t believe people think that she’s done nothing wrong by skipping school.
She’s 13 and knew that it is wrong.

She probably does realise she's done wrong but as I said before, might see it as the least worst option and the best way of trying to keep the peace. And yes, she is just 13 and shouldn't be stuck in the middle of a disagreement between the adults in the family.

On a serious note, DSD came in and I asked her how school was. (As I aske her EVERY TIME I see her). And she just looked very sheepishly at DH. DH immediately said we had to talk and DSD went up to her room.

DH said that when he picked up DSD she was a bit quiet when chatting about her day and he probed about and she came clean and said she wasnt at school. DSD admitted, as we all guessed, that she had agreed with her mum not to go to school today and stay home with voldemutt and take it out walks. Ex also contacted school to say she DSD wouldn't be in. No neighbour was ever planned to take voldemutt out.

Just to make it clear for all the death eaters, absolutely no punishment for DSD, neither of us have made her to feel bad about it or even gave her into trouble. It's something she agreed with her mum therefore I don't feel it's our place to give her any grief for it.

DH obv not happ about the situation and I've made it clear it is now up to him to contact ex and have it out with her.

Oh. And voldemutt is now at MILs for the rest of the weekend. Who called it?

Fucksake she really was determined not to pay for doggy day care wasn’t she 🙄

Don't forget Fang!

Oh, massive x-post.

Get MIL to hold dog to ransom to the tune of boarding kennel fees!

That is terrible. So she went away and made it so the people caring for her don’t even know where she was.

That’s terrible

Her mother has probably told her to lie to you op. Expecting your dsd to tell the truth puts her in an impossible situation. She will lose whichever way she turns. I have a 13 yo daughter. I would not expect this of her. You have to have an incredibly good relationship with a child to expect them to come clean.

It’s crap holding a punishment over her. You are holding a punishment over her if she doesn’t tell the truth. Her mother is holding a punishment (at the very least consequence for the dog) over her if she does. It is likely she has been sworn to secrecy as her mother knows she could get into a lot of trouble if you and the school find out.

It is a mistake to do this. If she ever gets into real trouble when she’s older rather than hiding it, you want to be the person she turns to. Her mother cannot be trusted, clearly.

Cross post. Thank goodness for that. Poor girl.

I get what you’re saying but she’s not in the middle of anything at all, she made plans with her mum to sort the dog out, her dad was driving her back and forth and she decided that lying and staying off school was what she wanted to do.

@Purplewishes You have handled this perfectly - your DSD will grow up proud that you are her step mother. As for her mother, I think she'll end up getting the measure of her!

Just read both threads.

Absolutely outrageous of Ex! What on earth will she say to DH to justify her appalling behaviour???

I'm glad the dog is at MILs at least it won't be on its own.

@Hertsgirl10

I get what you’re saying but she’s not in the middle of anything at all, she made plans with her mum to sort the dog out, her dad was driving her back and forth and she decided that lying and staying off school was what she wanted to do.

There's no indication at all that is what what she wanted to do! Hence the not being able to win any way comments. For you all know she may have wanted to not walk the dog.

[quote Purplewishes]@ohsmellyCatSmellyCat no I don't intend to play games with her. Just ask her how school was. If she comes clean we will get the full story and take it from there. If she lies the normal no Xbox rule will apply. That seems appropriate no?[/quote]
I too dislike liars but don't mislead her. Just tell her you saw her.
Give her the opening to come clean and be honest with you
Then deal with it depending on her answer

@CharlotteUnaNatalieThompson

Dogged school 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Most excellent autocorrect!

Not autocorrect- it's a common phrase in central Scotland to describe bunking off school. Although absolutely perfect given the topic of the thread! 😂😂

Glad she came clean so to speak. Shame the only real winner in all this is the one that abandoned the dog and left her daughter between a rock and a hard place.

Apologises, just seen the updates 🙄

I hope DH ruins her holiday by saying you all know how dreadful she has been.

Poor DSD told to lie to her father.

Takes a particular type of cow to do that.

Well done OP, on top of coping with your brood👏👏

So there was no limit to the amount that she was prepared to fuck everybody over was there? She lied, lied again and lied about lying to you and your MIL, she compromised her own daughter's education, she left a young dog alone overnight and she was aggressively manipulative to everyone to try and bend them to her will.

Surely it would have so much less effort to just book a kennels?

That’s just awful of the ex. For the sake of £150, she got her DD to miss school, she herself lied to school, she put her DD in a difficult situation. Such a poor example to set.

@queenoftheashes quite fitting I would be gandalf. Quite happy to stand outside my door with my staff screaming at the dog "YOU SHALL NOT PASS"

When is the ex back from her dirty weekend?

Your DH could contact the school and explain why DSD wasn’t in school today. It would be just desserts if ex faced a fine from the school for taking DSD out without a good reason.