CF part two. Voldemutt and the philosopher's bone

[Purplewishes]

Can't actually believe this has needed a second thread.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4331756-CF-DSD-DSDs-mum-and-dog

For any new stragglers jumping on for the ride I will try and summerise.
DSD has a dog at her mum's. Dog pisses and shits on the floor.
I'm up to my tits with my own kids with a toddler and newborn twins.
DH ex asked me to walk dog, I said absolutely fucking not.
Been lies and twisted truths about who's looking after dog.
DHs ex has fucked off on holiday anyway.
dSD has taken responsibility for walking dog but need DH to ferry her back and forward
Dog has now been renamed as voldemutt
DH has been told if voldemutt crosses the door he will be drop kicked out the door.
Once again to reiterate I'm having fuck all to do with voldemutt and plan to just sit back and watch the drama unfold (while drinking wine)

So where did we leave off?
DH took DSD at half 5 to her house to walk the dog before school no problem. The plan we were told was that a nice caring neighbour was going to walk voldemutt while DSD at school.

I was out with twins today with a friend with the buggys and we went a scenic route (this was about half 11) and who do I see walking voldemutt??????? DSD.

DSD should be at school (were in Scotland) so I'm guessing that DSD has dogged school in order to be there to walk voldemutt and there was never a neighbour involved. Now DSD didn't see me and I haven't mentioned it to her or to DH yet but I have full intentions of asking her how her day at school was when she gets home and then firing a million detailed questions about her day to see at what point she admits she was not at school.

When is dsd mum back?

Will dh have words with her on you behalf, on dsd behalf and on mil behalf

I think it’s very much something he ought to do

And say any repeat and it’s RSPCA and social service report/convo with school

I’d request the school inform dh of ANY absences too from now on.

Poor DSD.

What does the dog think about all this. Does he like being mixed up in dubious human behaviour, will he keep quiet about everything, so nobody gets put in the doghouse.

Seriously shameful behaviour by the ex. Dragging her daughter into lies and keeping her out of school so she could avoid responsibly for the dog.

Totally agree that she deserves to have her holiday ruined.

@OhSmellyCatSmellyCat

Please don't play games with your SD to see if she fess's up. She needs one adult who can be honest with her Your agreement is with her mum, don't back your SD into a corner

Agree - tell her you saw her and ask her what is going on by all means, but trying to trick her, or force her to fib to catch her out in a lie is very unkind.

[quote Purplewishes]@queenoftheashes quite fitting I would be gandalf. Quite happy to stand outside my door with my staff screaming at the dog "YOU SHALL NOT PASS"[/quote]
I'm not convinced that the dog is the balrog. I'm thinking more Gollum/Smeagol. Unpleasant, definitely not housetrained, may bite, but some redeeming features.

@Wishihadanalgorithm

Your DH could contact the school and explain why DSD wasn’t in school today. It would be just desserts if ex faced a fine from the school for taking DSD out without a good reason.

Scotland doesn't hand out fines in the way that it seems England does. In fact, I've never heard of anyone getting fined

Poor DSD, having such a manipulative mother.

However, your fantasy references are epic, I feel like we could be kindred spirits.

Definitely contact school. Child was on her own all day without the adults responsible for her knowing where she was.

@mzHz she's back on Monday afternoon.
Yes DH is going to message her and just say her behaviour is not on. Don't really think it will ruin her weekend, clearly not one fuck is given by her.

@wishihadanalgorithm we don't have fines in Scotland for missing school. I honestly don't see point in contacting school as it will get DSD into shit rather than ex and unfair position to put DSD in if mum agreed it.

@1forAll74 don't think voldemutt gives a fuck to be honest

"Oh. And voldemutt is now at MILs for the rest of the weekend. Who called it?"

I think I said it would be nice for the dog if MIL had him maybe one day so not on his own so long & the SD could do the walks herself.

I think a few of us asked if SD would be skipping school today to walk the dog.

What day was it? High schools now get out at half 12 on a Friday with a promise of optional classes Friday afternoon, except said optional classes don’t seem to have appeared and kids are being sent home instead.

Sorry if this has already been said, way too tired to go reading all the way back.

@BlackeyedSusan

Definitely contact school. Child was on her own all day without the adults responsible for her knowing where she was.

Contact the school to say that we were responsible for her but didn't know where she was?

Tbh if for some reason the school had got in touch, I don't think it wpould have taken Op long to figure out where she was!

Jeez all this for a weekend! Hope her mum thinks it is worth abandoning her pup and making her daughter lie, putting you and DH out and now MIL. All for a weekend.

That is terrible. Aside from missing school, no one close by knew DSD was on her own all day. I'd be far more livid about that the actual missing school element.

I'm still voting for Voldemutt to be dropped off at the hotel where the mum is staying.

@diddl 50 points for calling it... Points awarded to I'm going to guess Hufflepuff?

Did DP take Voldemutt to his mums after finding out? How did mil get roped into this again? 😂 poor woman

Any plan for the return of ExW?
You could refuse to give voldemutt back - but that defeats the purpose of all you've stood for and reward ExW for her lazy entitled arse.

To be honest, to save DSD the hassle of a bollocking from her mum for not keeping quiet about it all I think your DH should say that you saw her bunking off school! It's not a lie, as you did, but it takes the pressure of DSD cos she really has been out on in a predicament with all this and it would be awful if she was worried about being in trouble with her mum

@ButterflyAway

What day was it? High schools now get out at half 12 on a Friday with a promise of optional classes Friday afternoon, except said optional classes don’t seem to have appeared and kids are being sent home instead.

Sorry if this has already been said, way too tired to go reading all the way back.

That may be true where you are but it’s by no means true across the whole of Scotland. Timetabling etc varies between local authorities, where I am (LA in central belt) hasn’t adopted the Friday half day at all.

I'm picturing Pansy Parkinson with her 'face like a pug'- has your DH messaged her yet?

I'd have driven the dog to exw but I'm a bit like that and a dog lover. That dog needs a better owner and tbh your dsd sounds she needs a better mother!

And my theory - the dogs not up to date with his injections to be vaccinated against kennel cough.

So she cant take it to the kennels or get a professional walker.

What I don't get is why are people automatically assuming OP is a shit SP? She sounds measured and humorous and hasn't mentioned any concerning behaviours re her parenting.

Sounds like Purplewishes is handling it well to me

Will either of you be talking to DSD about this OP? I don't envy you because that conversation could be hard to put in an appropriately balanced way to a teenager.

Bet your OH is furious. Hope you have a stress free day tomorrow!

Gobsmacked 😮