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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DS underage drinking

175 replies

Dsandthedrink · 27/08/2021 11:26

DS is 17 in November and about to start a levels. To cut a long story short last night he told me he was going out with some friends (technically true). He wasn’t back until about half 11 but went straight to bed so I didn’t get a chance to talk to him. It turns out he was in the pub last night with a group of other underage friends I was told this by a friend who’s (adult) son also happened to be there. I am very disappointed in DS what he did was both illegal and stupid. Aibu to ask how to punish him for this?

OP posts:
Seeline · 27/08/2021 12:09

I'd like to know what fake ID he's got. My DS is nearly 20 and still gets IDd everytime he goes to a pub etc. He even got IDd when I was buying him a pint to have with our meal!

Surely you were drinking in pubs before the age of 18? Didn't everyone before ID became a thing?

CampaignToo · 27/08/2021 12:11

He was home by 11:30, got himself to bed and (presumably) hasn't thrown up or wet the bed. That counts as a parenting win in my book.

sanityisamyth · 27/08/2021 12:13

He's 17, not 7!

EeeByeGummieBear · 27/08/2021 12:22

My DS's friends have recently been doing similar. They are 14.
At 17 I wouldn't be looking to punish.

LadyDanburysHat · 27/08/2021 12:24

As everyone else has said you seriously need to unclench. I hope reading this has made you rethink.

Username91 · 27/08/2021 12:25

You are really overreacting. He’s 17, surely it’s normal at that age to go out drinking? He was home by half 11 and clearly not plastered so what is the problem Confused

Takeittotheboss · 27/08/2021 12:27

Do you actually know that he was drinking alcohol in the pub?

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints · 27/08/2021 12:30

In 15 months he'll be able to buy it for himself. He was home at a reasonable hour & seemingly still with it enough to get to bed by himself.

I was drinking spirits in the park at 13/14 (still can't stand bacardi though Envy < not envy). I remember being told it served me right. I was sharing a drink at home with my Dad on a Sunday night from 16/17, still have a love of real ale now & have never been one to go out & get absolutely rat arsed (Bacardi incident aside). Leave him be.

RampantIvy · 27/08/2021 12:32

Our local landlord is meticulous about checking ID (I think he has been stung in the past), so a 17 year old without ID wouldn't have been served, and if one person in the party was always buying the drinks it would have raised suspicions.

I think most teenagers have tried alcohol before 18 TBH.

Daphnise · 27/08/2021 12:33

It's really not a good thing to talk of "punishing" a 17 year old young man.

As long as he doesn't drink and drive any vehicle, there are other things more worthy of your concern. Such as him using contraception....or protection if he's gay.

romdowa · 27/08/2021 12:38

He is nearly 17 😨😨 at 15 most people I knew were drinking in fields / the woods while supposed to be at sleep overs. At least he came home at a reasonable time , was quite and went straight to bed with no hassle. I think at his age you really need to pick your battles.

Arghlife · 27/08/2021 12:43

I wouldn't be thinking about punishment. At the end of the day, it's the pubs duty to check id. I was 14 when I started to have the odd drink with my friends, at 16/ 17 I would chance a few drinks in the local pub depending on who was serving Wink. It was occasional, and I rarely drink as an adult. If you punish him all you're going to have are secrets .

FinallyFluid · 27/08/2021 12:45

Oh give me strength.

Wagglerock · 27/08/2021 12:46

At 17? He'd be a late starter in my day.

Merryoldgoat · 27/08/2021 12:48

Is this a joke?

LakieLady · 27/08/2021 12:51

Blimey, I was drinking in pubs at 14, so were lots of my mates.

We used to hang out at a bus shelter with bottles of cheap German wine. Blush

Have a chat with him about safe drinking etc.

Porcupineintherough · 27/08/2021 12:55

I wouldnt be impressed with 14 year olds drinking in pubs (understatement). But at (almost) 17 I think a chat about the cultural pressure to drink and judging your limits would be more appropriate than punishment. In fact punishing him could prove massively counterproductive.

Overitallnow · 27/08/2021 13:22

Disappointed, illegal, stupid........ give me strength.

Balonzette · 27/08/2021 13:24

Yes that would be a bit of an overreaction. He's not 13 chugging near vodka in a field. He's 17

Balonzette · 27/08/2021 13:26

We used to drink white cider on the beach from about 14 years old, I think pub at 17 is very civilized in comparison to a lot of teens 😂

Wilmaa · 27/08/2021 13:28

I thought you were going to say he's 12 or something 😂
At 17 my parents used to drop me in town for a night on the drink😅
Before that I was drunk in a field.

JuneOsborne · 27/08/2021 13:28

You don't even know if he drank anything alcoholic!

Notaroadrunner · 27/08/2021 13:30

Lighten up. Don't bother giving out to him. Ask him if he's feeling ok today and give him a paracetamol if he's not. Ds is 19, drinking since he was 16 with our knowledge. No point trying to stop them and it's better to know and accept that they will drink. We allowed Ds drink at home as we have done with dd who is 17. That way there is no need for secrecy and running straight to bed when they come in from a night out.

elenacampana · 27/08/2021 13:30

He hasn’t done anything punishment worthy OP, he’s growing up and you’re going to need to get your head around that. He’s not a baby anymore.

GrandTheftWalrus · 27/08/2021 13:35

My friends dad used to go to the shop and get our drink before we went out nightclubbing at 16/17. Only rules were to make sure we had a big dinner before we went out and stick together. Had some great times.

I started going to the pub at 16 with my first wages and was always back by 12. My mum would get annoyed when I phoned her to say I was waiting on taxi and would be home soon lol, this was before mobiles being as popular and I never had any credit.

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