AIBU or was the Doctor correct?

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I visited my GP this morning, I’m not someone who visits them regularly and I’ve been putting off this visit for a while.

He asked me what the visit was for. I started to say that I ‘thought’ I may have IBS, ‘woah’ he said, ‘that’s for me to decide, not you’.

Okay, so I started describing my symptoms. ‘You’ve been reading too much google you have’ he said ‘just use the word tummy, no need to say abdomen’ big sigh, roll eyes.

It put me on the back foot and I felt awkward to further explain my symptoms in case he pulled me up on my terminology again.

I do think I may have some issues with bile acid malabsorption but didn’t like to say in case he pulled me up on it. I just said I had yellow / orange stool. ‘POO’ he said.

I came away feeling like he thinks I’m some kind of hypochondriac who obsessively checks google for everything. Yes I have had a read to try and see what’s up with me but AIBU? Or was he rude?

Not that it’s relevant but I have a science degree and am very familiar with the right terminology for things, I could have been a nurse or doctor as far as he knew!!

I came away really annoyed. AIBU?

he'd prefer you to use words like "poo" and "tummy" - just tell him that you're not a fucking toddler, and you'd prefer a consultation with an adult.

Saw my GP a couple of weeks ago (or stand in for my GP who is away) - she is fine, but tried to get me to make appointments with a particular nurse i'd had a few phone appointments with in lockdown.
I haven't made a formal complaint, but said that the woman was rude and patronising, and I had better things to do with my time.
I got the feeling she'd had similar replies from others.

Just wanted to say adults using the word tummy gives me the ick

Many times when I’ve been to visit the GP, in recent years, they’ve asked me what I think is wrong! I always thought it strange but this is the total opposite. I think this is absolutely awful, you should definitely bring this up with the practice.

@Busybee5000

Many times when I’ve been to visit the GP, in recent years, they’ve asked me what I think is wrong! I always thought it strange but this is the total opposite. I think this is absolutely awful, you should definitely bring this up with the practice.

I think often they ask that question to find out if there is something that is particularly worrying you. E.g if you go in with a lump, they ask you what you think it is, and you answer "I'm worried it might be cancer", then they know they need to particularly reassure you of why it isn't cancer. Otherwise people might be too afraid to ask so they just continue to worry.

Sorry you had a frustrating consultation. I hope your follow up appointment goes better.

I am not defending poor communication however I do work in healthcare & I do find a lot of non medical people or vaguely medical -but-not-familiar-with-my-specialty-people use medical terminology imprecisely or incorrectly especially if they have googled and already decided what is wrong. They may come out with a whole lot of medical jargon that on further exploration turns out to be frankly incorrect and could lead me down the wrong path if I accept it at face value. I often ask people to use everyday language to describe what is going on and then we can both understand what has been said - it can then be reframed in medical terminology as necessary. It is possible he was trying this approach but being a bit clumsy about it maybe. Clearly I would anticipate a health care professional is using terminology properly and wouldn't ask them to use other terms. I am embarrassed if I have used very basic oversimplified language to people who know what they are talking about whether due to being in the medical profession or having a science background, or being a patient with more years of experience and education on their condition than I have.

I’d feedback. He sounds like a trainee who has listened to the don’t use jargon class but missed the judge your audience class. A bit of mentoring now could do him world of good.
On a positive note he did examine you/tests not fob you off.

He sounds like a patronizing dick.
His job is to help his patients, not show off his superiority complex. This attitude might actually put off people from seeking medical help. Definitely complain, if it’s not for you then it’s for those who might start to avoid the GP because of his POO 💩 attitude.

YANBU that’s horrible

I mention to go that I was tired all the time and she asked what time I went to bed at 😵‍💫 turns out I was severely aenmic

Definitely complain. No science or medical background but if a doctor was telling me to say "tummy" and "poo" I'd walk straight out to reception and ask for someone more professional. I would be saying stomach/abdomen (depending on issue) and stool. Just because I feel more comfortable with those words.

What a prat! How dare you take an interest in to your own health. As for telling you to use infant vocabulary 😡Be ready for him next time. 🥊

Patronising and condescending twat!

I'd be straight onto practice manager.

He could have assessed you whatever way you chose to communicate your concerns.

I've had similar - even worse since I got a mh diagnosis. Apparently this renders me incapable of understanding words of more than one syllable and things must be repeated to me slowly and loudly as if I'm both stupid and deaf! I am neither! I hold 2 degrees inc nursing and my mh issue is ocd not anything that affects my cognitive abilities!

he kept me there for 40 minutes

I wouldn't call that thorough I'd say he made the appointment last longer than it needed to by constantly interrupting and correcting you!

I agree a GOOD hcp knows how to work with a patient who is engaged with and knowledgeable about their body and may know what's wrong with it

I'd bet good money he wouldn't have spoken to a man like that! Sexist dick!

In your shoes I'd also be requesting a different gp for the following appointment and instructing the practice that you never want to see that one again.

New - so HE is insecure and is dealing with that by belittling patients? Fuck that! Get him told!

Goodness I wouldn’t have stayed for forty minutes. Feedback to the practice and someone will speak to him. I’d request an appointment with someone else also.

You’ll now be flooded with stories about the time I told the dr what was wrong with me and I WAS RIGHT. The vastly larger number of people who were completely wrong - including those who demand a cannula in a certain spot and then confidently point to a tendon - will stay quiet.

The solicitor who finds drs attitudes change when it somehow ‘gets dropped’ into conversation that she’s a solicitor made me laugh. In my experience it’s the very first thing solicitors say…..no need for it to be dropped in. I’m never sure if they’re trying to say ‘I also have a degree’ or if it’s meant to imply they’re about to sue me. It’s certainly never once been relevant to the conversation.

@NotMyCat - your consultant sounds fab!

I have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, as diagnosed by Professor Grahame's team at UCLH who specialise in EDS. I was diagnosed 8 years ago.

I have had so many instances like yours where a doctor, usually an A&E doctor or a GP, occasionally a Rheumatologist, has said to me when I say I have been diagnosed with EDS 'that's very rare, you almost certainly don't have that, what made you think you did?'. Some have even said I was mistaken and definitely don't have EDS.

What made me think I did was when the EDS consultant said to me 'you have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome', followed up by a letter which read 'Diagnosis: Ehlers Danlos Syndrome'. They then ask 'and who was this "consulant" and then shut up when I say it was Professor Grahame's team.

It really annoys me! I also have EpidermolysisBullosa Simplex which is very rare but no-one queries that diagnosis as it's diagnosed with a DNA test. Although I did have a physiotherapist once who told me off for going swimming and said it wasn't fair on the other pool users to have 'someone like you' in the pool and wouldn't listen to me when I tried to explain that I don't swim with open blisters. I didn't swim for months afterwards as he knocked my confidence. Twat. The EB clinic were furious as swimming is recommended for the condition as other forms of exercise triggers blistering. I also had a job convincing my dentist that no my gums won't stop bleeding if I 'persevere' with flossing as people with my condition are advised not to floss. Also, that I can't use normal mouth wash either as I get blisters in my mouth. He did get it eventually and the hygienist is wonderful - she went away and did loads of research after we first met so she could give me better care.

I never complained about the physiotherapist as he upset me so much and made me worry for months that I had been doing something awful going swimming and I had a long wait to see the EB clinic for reassurance. I regret not complaining so I hope OP complains. No HCP should make people feel uncomfortable or criticise them for using the correct names for body parts.

I am autistic and one of the things that makes me tweak is not using the correct terminology. He'd have had to watch my head slowly revolve if he'd made me call it a tummy and poo. The pain is clearly in my abdomen and I am describing my stool.

I have refused to see one of the GPs at my local practice for similar offences. I am an intelligent woman with a STEM degree and a very senior job in medicines licensing and I don't need to be patronised.

Start off next time by telling him not to be a cunt (that is definitely the correct terminology in this instance) as you are quite capable of using words with more than 3 letters in the correct context.

This makes me rather angry on your behalf.... I'll come and tell him!

I had this exact thing with one of DS’s doctors. I had to try really hard to not use the correct terms (Biology formed part of my degree).

@EpidermolysisBullosa he genuinely is brilliant. When I have bloods done he will throw in my thyroid ones or anything else, he couriered me antibiotics when I had a UTI and couldn't see a GP, he arranged everything when I was missed off the shielding list from food to medication deliveries

What are the odds he would have talked to a man that way?

@MissTrip82

Goodness I wouldn’t have stayed for forty minutes. Feedback to the practice and someone will speak to him. I’d request an appointment with someone else also.

You’ll now be flooded with stories about the time I told the dr what was wrong with me and I WAS RIGHT. The vastly larger number of people who were completely wrong - including those who demand a cannula in a certain spot and then confidently point to a tendon - will stay quiet.

The solicitor who finds drs attitudes change when it somehow ‘gets dropped’ into conversation that she’s a solicitor made me laugh. In my experience it’s the very first thing solicitors say…..no need for it to be dropped in. I’m never sure if they’re trying to say ‘I also have a degree’ or if it’s meant to imply they’re about to sue me. It’s certainly never once been relevant to the conversation.

I was thinking this!

In my experience solicitors often get annoyed that medics/barristers get all the glory whilst they get labelled ambulance-chasers and similar. Gives some of them a chip (although I have met several who are wonderful people, NASALT!).

He was very rude

He was definitely rude! And as for all the others on here - words fail really.

I also use proper terms as I spent time working for a GP and then had a job in forensics. Why any adult would use 'tummy' is beyond me.

Complain- Drs are often arrogant and need telling off IMHO.