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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU or was the Doctor correct?

170 replies

Quantokz · 26/08/2021 14:00

I visited my GP this morning, I’m not someone who visits them regularly and I’ve been putting off this visit for a while.

He asked me what the visit was for. I started to say that I ‘thought’ I may have IBS, ‘woah’ he said, ‘that’s for me to decide, not you’.

Okay, so I started describing my symptoms. ‘You’ve been reading too much google you have’ he said ‘just use the word tummy, no need to say abdomen’ big sigh, roll eyes.

It put me on the back foot and I felt awkward to further explain my symptoms in case he pulled me up on my terminology again.

I do think I may have some issues with bile acid malabsorption but didn’t like to say in case he pulled me up on it. I just said I had yellow / orange stool. ‘POO’ he said.

I came away feeling like he thinks I’m some kind of hypochondriac who obsessively checks google for everything. Yes I have had a read to try and see what’s up with me but AIBU? Or was he rude?

Not that it’s relevant but I have a science degree and am very familiar with the right terminology for things, I could have been a nurse or doctor as far as he knew!!

I came away really annoyed. AIBU?

OP posts:

girlmom21 · 26/08/2021 14:59

He does sound like a condescending arse.

I wonder if he'd had a stream of patients trying to self-diagnose... still a massive arse though.

QueenBee52 · 26/08/2021 15:04

@Quantokz

And he was a new doctor to the practice, quite young, no more than 30 yrs old!

Aahhh he thinks he's Hip and Cool ... Fail

just sounded like a Dick..

I'd remind him that whilst Health Practises closed their doors to Joe Public during the Pandemic.. Dr Google was all we had... 🙄

I hope you get to the bottom of your symptoms OP 🌸

NoNoThankYou · 26/08/2021 15:05

He sounds like a patronising twat who would prefer his patients to be entirely ignorant and in awe of him. I would also formally complain.

"Even I say tummy, even now." Christ alive. Some responses:

"I see. In which case, I'd feel more confident if another GP could write up my referral to ensure it's accurate and comprehensible for the doctors at the other end of the communication."

"If I use any words you don't understand, just let me know and I'll be happy to explain them"

marmaladehound · 26/08/2021 15:09

OMG! As a nurse that's appalling, how can he tell you what terminology to use? Your use of the correct terminology clearly shifted the balance of power to a more equal footing that he was comfortable with.

I can understand the irritation of giving him a diagnosis at the start, so many patients do with and really are way out due to looking at less than reputable websites. But you should never talk to a patient like that regardless.

LaikO · 26/08/2021 15:11

Oh that is out of order. I say "tummy" to my babies, I'd feel silly saying it to an adult - it would be abdomen or stomach for me.
I was seen by a doctor at my practice who was quite condescending, very polite but completely ignored my issue to talk about something unrelated.
I ended up asking to see another GP who listened to me, was shocked the previous GP had ignored the problem and prescribed me antibiotics for the obvious infection that was rapidly worsening. 🙄

marmaladehound · 26/08/2021 15:12

@Quantokz

And he was a new doctor to the practice, quite young, no more than 30 yrs old!

I was wondering this. Experienced enough to have more confidence but not experienced enough to realise he can make mistakes and probably will one day and develop a bit of humility.

Not that all Drs get like this, but a sizeable few certainly do.

DevilFinger · 26/08/2021 15:12

I have a 1 in 30 million rare autoimmune condition and frequent hospital a lot which means lots of people come to see me as im a rarity(!)

Last time I was in a dinosaur (male) came from another hospital to see me / review my notes and said to the sister that accompanied him that she would need to explain what he was saying after his visit as it would include complicated medical terms that I wouldn't understand

I'm quite clued up on my condition and some of the words that I wouldn't understand included; artery, aneurysms, plasma and leukocytes which are pretty much key components of my condition ffs

Complain complain complain.

He wanted to revisit and I refused as he wasn't involved in my care, just nosy.

FreezerBird · 26/08/2021 15:19

Definitely complain, not least because he was fairly young and it might be an opportunity to nip this nonsense in the bud.

I've got kids with complex medical conditions and I often get asked if I have a medical background when giving history etc. I usually say 'no, but I've been doing this for sixteen years now'; we all laugh and crack on.

MilduraS · 26/08/2021 15:21

He sounds ridiculous. I never use the word tummy regardless of who I'm speaking to. It's stomach or abdomen in my mind. As for poo.... nope, I'd have said bowel movement too and it wouldn't have been Googling. It's the terminology used in adverts

2Rebecca · 26/08/2021 15:26

I'm a GP, he sounds like a pillock, particularly the tummy not abdomen comment. I prefer it when patients know their anatomy and it can be confusing if people talk about their stomach and mean their lower abdomen not their upper abdomen where their stomach is as I get a different idea of where the pain is especially if over the phone and they aren't pointing to the area. Him talking about poo rather than stool is weird, you aren't 5 I presume. He should be able to cope with adults using adult language.

SecretDoor · 26/08/2021 15:27

Was he a junior doctor eg a foundation year one/two or a GP registrar ?
As you were in there for 40 minutes it is unlikely he was a normal GP!!

sillysmiles · 26/08/2021 15:28

I'm a scientist and always feel more comfortable with correct terminology. But I've never had a doctor react like that.

If he tries to patronise you like that again, correct him. I hate when something happens and afterwards, once you process it, you get even angrier!

Loubiemoo · 26/08/2021 15:30

@Quantokz

He said ‘even I don’t use the word abdomen, I still use tummy even now’.

I have wondered if he was trying to make me more at ease? An failed spectacularly.

He’s talking bollocks. He’s never going to refer a patient and write tummy ache in the letter. Or if he does, he won’t do it twice! What a monumental knob!

I agree with complaining to the practice. His attitude could stop a patient seeking help or speaking up.

FTR, I’m a nurse. I use medical and surgical terminology when I speak to my gp. She prefers it. No crossed wires, clear and concise.

SomethingLiteraryYearOfBirth · 26/08/2021 15:31

@Quantokz

To be fair he was very thorough, he kept me there for 40 minutes but he clearly felt I was some anxious idiot who had googled themselves into a frenzy.

All I did was go in and try to describe my symptoms! I have to go back and see him after my blood results come back. I’m going to speak exactly how I want and if he pulls me up again I’ll tell him I’ll use whatever terminology gets my symptoms across to him! The more I’ve thought about it the more annoyed I’ve become!!

Don't go back to him.

Loubiemoo · 26/08/2021 15:33

@NoNoThankYou

He sounds like a patronising twat who would prefer his patients to be entirely ignorant and in awe of him. I would also formally complain.

"Even I say tummy, even now." Christ alive. Some responses:

"I see. In which case, I'd feel more confident if another GP could write up my referral to ensure it's accurate and comprehensible for the doctors at the other end of the communication."

"If I use any words you don't understand, just let me know and I'll be happy to explain them"

I like the last one

starrynight87 · 26/08/2021 15:37

Complain - so rude and patronising.

Rapunzelsplait · 26/08/2021 15:40

Some doctors forget that intelligent people may have careers outside medicine

Yep - just that.

YANBU - I would also ask to see another doctor. We changed GP surgery as one of the GPs there was high-handed and frankly I worried he was useless as well.

The GP practise we're now at - all of them are great and very approachable. Especially important when you have kids too...

Fairyliz · 26/08/2021 15:41

Blimey I get annoyed because my doctor always asks what I think it is.
I’m always tempted to say if I knew that I’d be sitting on your side of the desk and earning a big salary.
Obviously I don’t.

shallIswim · 26/08/2021 15:41

Awful
Especially when we're all used to seeing doctors google stuff during consultations.
And I understood it was better to use accurate rather than nebulous terminology.
Some doctors really do think they're all that when they're not.
Complain

randomsabreuse · 26/08/2021 15:41

Complain. DH is better at using technical anatomy than "colloquial" as horses have the same bones but different colloquial names (our wrists= horse knee, our knee = horse stifle...) So would probably use carpus for wrist without thinking about it because it's clearer to him!

He always gets clocked as a medic type, which we use where necessary - annoyingly often!

AnyOldPrion · 26/08/2021 15:42

So sorry you went through that. I have had the same experience with a doctor who was very patronising about the fact that I used technical terms and had read up on possible diagnoses and I’m a vet. It’s very difficult to deal with when you’re seeing a doctor because you are already in a vulnerable position. In my case, unfortunately there were no significant findings on tests, so despite obvious physical problems, my condition was written off as psychosomatic. I’ve since discovered that more women’s diseases are written off by doctors as psychosomatic than men’s diseases. Medicine really is sexist to a very deep level.

I hope you can see another doctor. What he said was patronising, even if unintentional.

BlackIsQueen · 26/08/2021 15:43

Urgh. Wanker medic klaxon. I'd have torn a strip off him right there and then. Who the fuck does he think he is? Talking to a patient like that. Absolutely, complain and loudly.

onelittlefrog · 26/08/2021 15:44

@Quantokz

To be fair he was very thorough, he kept me there for 40 minutes but he clearly felt I was some anxious idiot who had googled themselves into a frenzy.

You don't HAVE to go back and see him. See a different GP instead. He sounds like a dick and I don't blame you for feeling uncomfortable.

skodadoda · 26/08/2021 15:45

@Quantokz

And he was a new doctor to the practice, quite young, no more than 30 yrs old!

He needs to have his superiority complex flattened 🙄 Seriously, the most experienced person in the practice needs to have words with him.

skodadoda · 26/08/2021 15:47

@Craftycorvid

Good grief! Did you explain to him ‘Even I don’t use the word ‘doctor’ anymore, I find ‘patronising asshole’ does just as well.’

🤣🤣🤣

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