AIBU or was the Doctor correct?

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I visited my GP this morning, I’m not someone who visits them regularly and I’ve been putting off this visit for a while.

He asked me what the visit was for. I started to say that I ‘thought’ I may have IBS, ‘woah’ he said, ‘that’s for me to decide, not you’.

Okay, so I started describing my symptoms. ‘You’ve been reading too much google you have’ he said ‘just use the word tummy, no need to say abdomen’ big sigh, roll eyes.

It put me on the back foot and I felt awkward to further explain my symptoms in case he pulled me up on my terminology again.

I do think I may have some issues with bile acid malabsorption but didn’t like to say in case he pulled me up on it. I just said I had yellow / orange stool. ‘POO’ he said.

I came away feeling like he thinks I’m some kind of hypochondriac who obsessively checks google for everything. Yes I have had a read to try and see what’s up with me but AIBU? Or was he rude?

Not that it’s relevant but I have a science degree and am very familiar with the right terminology for things, I could have been a nurse or doctor as far as he knew!!

I came away really annoyed. AIBU?

Arrogant is a good word for his behaviour. No good doctor would be like this and on that basis I would move on to someone who will be.

He really needs to get with the 1980s and realise it's normal to check online to avoid wasting the doctor's time.

Maybe if we didn't all have to wait three weeks for an appointment, instead of seeing the doctor the next day, we wouldn't be concerned enough to try researching symptoms online.

And as for 'abdomen' - infant school children learn that word when they study insects.

OP, I agree with everyone else about reporting it in writing to the Practice Manager.

I do, however, have a slightly more disturbing suggestion about why paediatricians are sometimes now called baby doctors. Several years ago there were some news stories about paediatricians being targeted by thugs of limited intelligence (are there any other kind?) because they saw the start of the word and assumed that they were paedophiles and therefore, fair game. Calling them "baby doctors" removes the possibility of them being duffed up, although it irritates the hell out of intelligent people.

@dreamingbohemian

Years ago I had to deal with a doctor who kept referring to my 'front passage', I had no idea what he was talking about (we don't use that term where I'm from) so I kept saying, My what? You need to examine my what?

He just kept saying front passage until I finally clocked it and said, Oh you mean my VAGINA

What is wrong with these people!

🤣😂🤣 That made me LOL 😂

Luckily I have a GP who knows I have a brain and treats me as such. He prints off Patient Uk for extra information or draws a diagram and explains using proper words.

There did used to be a doctor in there that asked my friend's son ‘ Have you had a shit today.’ Call a spade a spade! He was a great doctor and you could asked him anything come to think of it mine is in his room now 😂 Similar chat!

YANBU

He was rude and patronising.

Surely it’s best if the patient uses whichever terminology they’re comfortable with as long as it’s clear what they mean (and if it’s not clear the doctor should ask appropriate questions to clarify).

Complain and ask to see a different GP

I work with doctors. That is not acceptable. Please complain to the practice manager.

How awful. When I was in labour, the young midwife kept saying I sounded like I'd swallowed an encyclopedia. Put in my nursing notes "educated?".....

Even when I was rushed off for an emergency caesarian (whilst she was off the ward), she came in to the operating theatre and said..... "you still sound like you swallowed an encyclopedia"

I asked my husband, he said I sounded completely normal... I worked for the NHS at the time as well...

Ask him where he got his medical degree as you had assumed they would have covered the correct terminology at any decent university.

@OkSpiritualknot I was asked if I was a nurse when in labour when I was just using terms I'd read about in my antenatal books. It seemed to annoy the midwife for some reason. I don't have a medical background and work in professional services now, but I have a masters in chemistry and did all the sciences at A level so have always had an interest. As upthread, some medical staff seem to think it should all be a mystery or that non-med folk are idiots. I got 5 As at A level, I possibly could've been a doctor if I wasn't workshy and from a family of doctors that managed to put me off

Some GP's are just patronising twats with a God complex.

I once went with tonsillitis and saw a locum. I have it at least once a year and have since I was born. I'm not a hypochondriac and I've learnt to recognise when it's tipping over from viral to bacterial by the pus, my temperature and the time I've been ill. I need antibiotics roughly 1 in 4 times, when I can manage it myself I don't bother the GP.

This once I made the mistake of beginning with 'I've had tonsillitis for about ten days which I think might need antibiotics now...'

If I did. She cut me off, held up her hands and said 'RIGHT well most cases are just viral...' and then explained to me in detail the difference between viral and bacterial, including sketching a bloody diagram - and that 'although you might not know this, antibiotics don't have ANY effect on viral illnesses!' with big patronising smile.

I think it was only my dead pan face that shut her up eventually, then I then had chance to advise that I fully understood the differenced but that a virus had developed into my tonsils being covered in white pus and a temperature of 40.

I think some older GP's especially really hate the fact that nowadays if you're reasonably intelligent, the Internet gives the average person access to a lot of information that you previously wouldn't have had.

I’d not see him again. You let the patient explain in their own words, that way they can tell you what’s happening. I’d have just repeated back to him ‘you want me to say tummy?

I had to see a (youngish) specialist earlier this year who began speaking to me using baby words... "tummy" etc. When he got to "food pipe" I couldn't stand it any more, and asked if he would mind if we used the word "oesophagus". He immediately apologised and changed to talking to me as if I was an intelligent adult. To be honest, he seemed relieved.

Before I left, he told me they are taught to use baby words with patients. They have to assume ignorance in order to avoid the possibility of people not understanding vital information.

I wouldn’t use tummy or poo unless I was talking to a child. Abdomen and stool are perfectly normal terms?

Even if you don’t have a degree, when was the last time some fictional detective on TV said ‘the victim was shot on their tummy’.

YANBU he was unnecessarily rude to you.

He would have loved me....as I've never had children, I've never used the words 'tummy' or 'poo' and God help anyone - especially a doctor - who expects me to...

I'd make a complaint. I bet he wouldn't have talked that way with a man of your age.

Arrogant patronising git

I’m assuming you’re female. I can’t imagine this patronising attitude towards a male, but it happens far too often to women.

Please complain op he sounds awful. He must put people off going in.

I now wonder if he was very newly qualified too. He had to go and get another doctor for a second opinion about my symptoms and to examine my stomach. I apologised that I’d kept him for so long and he said it was okay, he was new so was being given longer to see each patient.

He sounds like an absolute twat. I bet he wouldn't have said any of that to a male patient.

Pls feedback to the practice. It sounds like he might be doing his gp training from your last post. Or possibly he's finished gp training and is just new to the surgery. Either way they'd want to know.

He's a patronising arse who has made you feel uncomfortable. I'd complain to the practice manager.

He'll be a gp trainee so its definitely worth giving feedback either directly to him for the satisfaction or to the practice.

I’m a doctor…sorry there are dickheads in our profession. He sounds incredibly patronising, I would have felt the same as you. Write your complaint, make it as non emotive and factual as possible to ensure it has the greatest impact.