AIBU or was the Doctor correct?

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I visited my GP this morning, I’m not someone who visits them regularly and I’ve been putting off this visit for a while.

He asked me what the visit was for. I started to say that I ‘thought’ I may have IBS, ‘woah’ he said, ‘that’s for me to decide, not you’.

Okay, so I started describing my symptoms. ‘You’ve been reading too much google you have’ he said ‘just use the word tummy, no need to say abdomen’ big sigh, roll eyes.

It put me on the back foot and I felt awkward to further explain my symptoms in case he pulled me up on my terminology again.

I do think I may have some issues with bile acid malabsorption but didn’t like to say in case he pulled me up on it. I just said I had yellow / orange stool. ‘POO’ he said.

I came away feeling like he thinks I’m some kind of hypochondriac who obsessively checks google for everything. Yes I have had a read to try and see what’s up with me but AIBU? Or was he rude?

Not that it’s relevant but I have a science degree and am very familiar with the right terminology for things, I could have been a nurse or doctor as far as he knew!!

I came away really annoyed. AIBU?

I would have struggled not to tell him what I thought tbh, what a rude patronising git. Wonder if he is like this with male patients?

Some doctors forget that intelligent people may have careers outside medicine...

I think that's potentially quite dangerous. Tummy surely means stomach and I'm guessing that, given you are concerned about IBS, the problems are lower down. Using the wrong terminology could send you down the wrong diagnostic path.

He said ‘even I don’t use the word abdomen, I still use tummy even now’.

I have wondered if he was trying to make me more at ease? An failed spectacularly.

I'm a GP and would never speak to a patient like that. Using medical terminology may make me wonder if you have a medical background or not (in which case I'd ask) but I certainly wouldn't object in any way to you using words like abdomen and stool. And with regards to you saying what you think might be going on I would always want to know that, if you hadn't volunteered it I would have asked your thoughts. Otherwise there is a risk you could be coming to me worried about a particular condition and if I'm not thinking along the same lines I could end up not addressing that concern.

I think it would be worthwhile at your follow up appointment explaining to the GP how he made you feel. It sounds like he would benefit from that feedback.

YANBU

Unbelievable.
Literally.

I think I'd have been tempted to continue the conversation in a child's voice saying "my tum tum do hurty hurt at poo-poos time" and then mime taking a dump in a potty.

Good grief! Did you explain to him ‘Even I don’t use the word ‘doctor’ anymore, I find ‘patronising asshole’ does just as well.’

You are not being unreasonable at all. What an arsehole doctor. Years ago, when I was around 18 years old, I went to my gp, I explained there was something wrong with me and explained my symptoms. He smirked and said there was nothing wrong with me, and would prove it with a blood test. I felt embarrassed and a little humiliated. But there was actually something wrong with me, I was urgently referred to the hospital.

It really irritated me when the pediatricians were referred to as "baby doctors" when I was in hospital having the babies

He sounds like an arse to be honest.

How did he know you didn’t have a healthcare background? I’m a hospital AHP and would always use the correct words and that’s what I use all day long!!

I think I’d report him tbh.

It really comes down to the GP. I too have a science background and have a passion for medicine, so although I didn't get to study it, I naturally got to know quite a lot about it and am familiar with the terminology.

I had doctors acting just like yours, as if I was making their life more difficult because I came with preconceived ideas, even though I always want to hear their views. They are not interested in discussing matters, they just want to examine and tell me what is wrong and that's that.

I however had doctors who were delighted that I had a good knowledge of the issue I was going for, loved being able to have a discussion, and then said that it was really nice to have a patient who knew so much and had already done their research.

I avoid the former and stick to the latter!

@fudgecat I came on to say that! I know what a paediatrician is, thank you very much.

I image the vast majority of parents do. Simplify for some people, yes, but not all.

As you used neither word incorrectly, you might have asked if it was a requirement that patients use toddler language. 'Stool' is only one syllable long, and you seemed to know the meaning just fine.

Next time, throw in some Latin.

What a condescending jerk.

I would make a complaint.

I frequently use proper terminology to describe medical problems and it is not from using Google. I may even ask questions about articles in medical journals. I frequently get asked by doctors if I am a doctor or a nurse. I do work In an area that most of them are willing to accept gives me some credibility, even though I have absolutely no medical background, and it is amazing to see how differently I get treated once that comes out. I’’m suddenly worthy of having an actual conversation with them about my condition and care instead of listening.

It shouldn’t be that way. People shouldn’t need the right credentials to be seen as an active participant on their own medical care.

Seriously?
I would have left the consultation had anybody spoken to me like that.

I'd have been tempted to patronise him right back with something like, "yes, I could use words like tummy, but I expected a trained doctor to be comfortable with less childish terms."

A key part of communication us moderating your speech to the level of your audience. If what they say suggests they have a good vocabulary and they're using terms accurately, they should continue at that level. It's only if it's clear they don't understand that you start rewording in different ways, which might mean more colloquial wording.

Definitely complain.

So if a man goes in with a sore penis is he meant to tell the doctor that his willy hurts?

I bet not!

Good grief - what would he have done if you had a vaginal problem? Told you to call it your flower or tuppence?

A relative was seen this week by their specialist and told "we work with patients these days, we don't tell you what to do". Sounds like he didn't get the memo

I would ask to see another GP when you go and discuss your blood test results.

For the simple reason that you are not going to fully trust what he is going to tell you.

@Mummyratbag
'Good grief - what would he have done if you had a vaginal problem? Told you to call it your flower or tuppence?'

Definitely write a complaint and ask to see a different doctor. I would've walked out. What a rude prick.

YANBU. It sounds like he was on a power trip and how dare anyone else have understanding of medic conditions. Complain.

What on earth? Does any adult use the word "tummy" when they're not talking to a child?