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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To enjoy being a bit skint

337 replies

Welcometotheterrorzone · 26/08/2021 08:39

I realise this might sound really privileged to some.
We are by no means struggling to pay our mortgage or buy food. We both have alright jobs, low paid but steady and enough to pay for a lovely house in a rough part of town. Like I said, we do alright but have to budget in order to have Christmas and holidays. We camp, we don't eat out, we share subscriptions with friends, we have one car, we buy second hand everything, we use freetogo apps etc to save. I am an obsessive yellow sticker shopper and do not pay full price for any meat, bread, milk or fruit as I hit different supermarkets at different times and have a huge freezer to store it all in. We eat veggie 70% of the time too.
Yesterday it was a one off treat day for DS as he's starting school. I had £24 for the day and no access to anymore money. We had such a lovely time, bakery lunch, went to a national trust place where just going in the grounds is a lot cheaper than tickets for the house so did that, treated them to an ice lolly and found a Poundland on the way home for a toy instead of getting (the same quality) toy in the gift shop. I was a bit worried at one point as we walked past this amazing sweet shop and I thought that they were going to ask for something I couldn't afford (only had £2 left by this point as we were on our way to the train station) but brilliantly they had a reduced section with these Harry Potter chocolate bars for 50p so still had a £1 at the end of it.
My aibu is that I don't want to lose this feeling of joy that we have found something that fits our budget and makes me feel like I'm treating them. I've had times where I felt really down that I can't just say 'choose whatever you like' but I think every parent sets limits so I'm not being unnecessary harsh. I'm trying to teach them to find pleasure in small things, and that finding the right toy in a charity shop is better than going to a big toy shop full of plastic where you can choose anything. I hope they don't resent me for it.
Luckily it's payday tomorrow!

OP posts:
icedcoffees · 26/08/2021 10:56

The OP had £24 for a day out.... Its not like she's wiping her ass with wads of bills.... Shes not saying she has £24 per day... She's saying this is what she had for her day out. I don't like referring to people as "skint" but yes, she is and there is no need to be rude about it is there. If your offended by her self claimed "skintness" then why are you on her post...

Having a nice house, a mortgage and all your childcare, food and bills covered each month is not being skint.

I'm not offended but I think OP's post is tasteless and misses the mark somewhat. There's nothing wrong with enjoying budgeting or getting your finances to stretch, but saying you "enjoy being a bit skint" when you're not even remotely skint is just a bit...off.

Skint is not being able to pay the rent. It's choosing between using the heating or feeding yourself. It's scraping pennies together from down the sofa to buy bread and milk. It's not having a nice home, a mortgage and "only" having £24 to spend on a day out Hmm

Somethingsnappy · 26/08/2021 10:56

@WitchBaby

I don't get this thread. OP started off 'privileged' in the OP and just playing at being skint. But then a few drip feeds posts in says she had her electricity cut off for not paying her bills, well that's not privileged is it? 🤷🏼‍♀️
I think she was talking about that happening in the past, wasn't she?
powershowerforanhour · 26/08/2021 10:56

I have a massive bugbear with people who have their bills all covered and spare money to play with on nice days out buying up all the yellow sticker items.

My mum always used to say this. I love the yellow sticker section but she insisted we leave the things unless there was loads of the item we wanted left, or it was just before closing and guaranteed to get chucked and go to waste anyway.

As far as the original OP is concerned- finding a pound in your coat lining or a canny charity shop purchase- always fun. Getting the green eyed monster over this- My friend on UC (but earns more than me) gets a huge hamper of food every two weeks which she doesn't have to pick up, it's delivered. She also gets free holiday club all summer, with a bag of food to take home for dinner - not fun.

DGFB · 26/08/2021 10:59

I think the point you’re trying to make is that being frugal with young children can be a good thing…
Wait until they are teenagers though and want branded stuff to keep up with their mates. Plus cash for cinema and burgers

namechangeno7 · 26/08/2021 11:00

I actually do hope a paper picks this up, then OP will know from multiple comment threads just how skint they are not.

Somethingsnappy · 26/08/2021 11:01

[quote Welcometotheterrorzone]@Bluntness100 you're always so tiresome on threads. I'm not saying I never want to to change, I'm saying that i don't want to lose this feeling of appreciating the little things. Yes with that comes feelings of failure at times, but also joy, relief, exhilaration. Finding a dress for a friends wedding for £3 in Cancer Research and everyone asking where you got it. Not that complex is it.[/quote]
This makes sense, OP. I think you just didn't properly think through some of the wording in your first post and title.

Although you're getting a hard time on the here, I hope it will please you to know that this thread has got me thinking and actually inspired me in some ways. Smile

WitchBaby · 26/08/2021 11:02

I think she was talking about that happening in the past, wasn't she?

No, "twice this summer" OP said she had her electricity turned off allegedly.

Somethingsnappy · 26/08/2021 11:05

@WitchBaby

I think she was talking about that happening in the past, wasn't she?

No, "twice this summer" OP said she had her electricity turned off allegedly.

Ah, OK.
grapewine · 26/08/2021 11:07

And as much as some people would scoff at me for this, I have a massive bugbear with people who have their bills all covered and spare money to play with on nice days out buying up all the yellow sticker items. Families who really really struggle are desperate for lower priced goods, but there's you hoarding them in your massive freezer and skipping merrily through National trust properties on a lovely day out, with money left over for toys and sweets. Those other families can't even dream of it because they're unlikely to be able to visit multiple supermarkets and swipe up all their perishables for cut prices, so every penny goes on bills and food, with much juggling and corner cutting

I'll probably get flamed, but I couldn't agree more.

3ormorecharactersss · 26/08/2021 11:07

@namechangeno7 I’m glad you understood what I meant - I have asked MN to remove my comment as I realised the wording I used was really bad form and potentially upsetting and I didn’t mean it like that at all. Brain and mouth are often disengaged these days!

WitchBaby · 26/08/2021 11:14

I’m gonna make them choose between an ice cream or a ride on the carousel, even though we can easily afford both, because I think they’ll enjoy it more and it’ll make them better people xx

This is a really good idea. We grew up with not very much and it was so exciting when we did get things, I can still remember the feeling now 🤗 . My DNephew has always had everything he wants/asks for and he doesn't even get excited at Christmas, it's very sad.

wtfisgoingonhere21 · 26/08/2021 11:16

Working poor family here.

Earn too much to get help with anything but not enough to have any savings or emergency funds thanks to Covid ripping our finances apart for 18 months and still continuing now.

We will be trying to catch up for a good 12 months now and we've had some hairy moments with less than £24 for a week for fuel and food so it's utterly shit and no I don't enjoy being frugal at all.

It's a shit show when two full time workers struggle to financially keep a house and family.

In fact it's disgusting that so many people are currently in the same boat and worse.

I hate the counting of pennies every week and budgeting so tight to the wire I don't sleep towards the end of the month worrying in case it doesn't quite stretch.

It's a vicious circle for many people op so I think your post will run people up the wrong way.

Covid has caused such a massive divide in the country in terms of finances it's unreal.

Our local community kitchen and cupboard is about to close down and move to different premises and people are seriously worried how long this will take because that's how they feed their kids each week and they work Shock

It's a disgrace

Flak · 26/08/2021 11:19

I am an obsessive yellow sticker shopper and do not pay full price for any meat, bread, milk or fruit as I hit different supermarkets at different times

If I weighed up my petrol & time spent doing this, it would work out better for me to just get it all in Morrisons in one go.

MarleneDietrichsSmile · 26/08/2021 11:21

Being skint is no fun

Being careful with money can be rewarding though, especially if you have experienced being really skint

It is also nice to spoil your kids without spoiling them iyswim

But yes OP you worded it clumsily Shock

strangethoughts · 26/08/2021 11:24

I don't agree with the slack you're getting at all op.
At the end of the day, there is ALWAYS going to be someone worse off than you regardless if it's about money or something else in life. This is totally circumstantial to you, just remember that. You are absolutely allowed to feel those things and have every right speak about how you're feeling in this situ. Try to not let the haters get to you.

Timeforredwine · 26/08/2021 11:24

I agree with you op its that simple.

GinPin2 · 26/08/2021 11:26

@Welcometotheterrorzone, well I think your post is a lovely post.
Sounds so, so much like me when our 3 girls were tiny.

Three.thirty on a Sunday afternoon was a good time to go shopping in Asda !

Never went abroad or stayed in a holiday home until the girls were late teens - always camped in our own tent until then.

My grandchildren love going to charity shops or to the beach with me, and Yes they will walk the 3 miles ! Treated them to a £1.20 Mr Whippy 99 yesterday because the beach was too crowded Sad so we turned around and walked home again, feeding ducks and squirrels on our way.
Hope your little boy loves school, I used to teach Reception. Smile

Just off now to pick blackberries now for jam and to store any extra in the freezer.

Good luck to you @Welcometotheterrorzone

OhWhyNot · 26/08/2021 11:27

Sometimes you should keep things to yourself

This is one of those times

JSL52 · 26/08/2021 11:28

Some people don't have £24 for the week.
So no 'bakery lunch' or NT visits or toys and sweets on the way home.
Please don't claim to be 'skint' when you've got £24 for a day to spend on treats.

Laiste · 26/08/2021 11:28

Ooh blimey OP - brave to post this. Sometimes it's better to keep your thoughts firmly in your own head.

It's like being all thrilled about getting a buzz out of being ''a bit hungry'' and wanting some sort of pat on the back because of it.

The buzz is only possible because you know you can walk into the kitchen anytime and eat. You surely don't post online about what jolly fun being hungry can be Hmm

georgarina · 26/08/2021 11:29

I totally get what you mean OP, it is nice to have nonmaterialistic days where you realise the fun is in making do with what you have. One of the best days we had this summer was when our washing machine broke and we walked to a laundromat and we had a picnic and the kids played at the park while we waited.

But as some people have said the wording of the post was off. I'm as far from 'professionally offended' as it gets but it reads a bit like being on crutches for a week and enjoying the novelty, and then writing that you're enjoying being 'a bit disabled.' I know it's not what you meant, it's just the phrasing of it.

LordOfTheOnionRings · 26/08/2021 11:41

You own a house...you're not skint

wewereliars · 26/08/2021 11:41

Didn't Pulp do a song about you OP?

JulesJules · 26/08/2021 11:45

This is a bit Marie Antoinette, OP

Thewiseoneincognito · 26/08/2021 11:45

You don’t need to be skint to make your money go further- it’s all about creativity and being able to think out of the box which I think is the essence of the OP. It’s far easier to do when you don’t have to do it as necessity and you have a thousand other stresses swimming around your head on top of having no money and having no way to get any more money.