To enjoy being a bit skint

[Welcometotheterrorzone]

I realise this might sound really privileged to some.
We are by no means struggling to pay our mortgage or buy food. We both have alright jobs, low paid but steady and enough to pay for a lovely house in a rough part of town. Like I said, we do alright but have to budget in order to have Christmas and holidays. We camp, we don't eat out, we share subscriptions with friends, we have one car, we buy second hand everything, we use freetogo apps etc to save. I am an obsessive yellow sticker shopper and do not pay full price for any meat, bread, milk or fruit as I hit different supermarkets at different times and have a huge freezer to store it all in. We eat veggie 70% of the time too.
Yesterday it was a one off treat day for DS as he's starting school. I had £24 for the day and no access to anymore money. We had such a lovely time, bakery lunch, went to a national trust place where just going in the grounds is a lot cheaper than tickets for the house so did that, treated them to an ice lolly and found a Poundland on the way home for a toy instead of getting (the same quality) toy in the gift shop. I was a bit worried at one point as we walked past this amazing sweet shop and I thought that they were going to ask for something I couldn't afford (only had £2 left by this point as we were on our way to the train station) but brilliantly they had a reduced section with these Harry Potter chocolate bars for 50p so still had a £1 at the end of it.
My aibu is that I don't want to lose this feeling of joy that we have found something that fits our budget and makes me feel like I'm treating them. I've had times where I felt really down that I can't just say 'choose whatever you like' but I think every parent sets limits so I'm not being unnecessary harsh. I'm trying to teach them to find pleasure in small things, and that finding the right toy in a charity shop is better than going to a big toy shop full of plastic where you can choose anything. I hope they don't resent me for it.
Luckily it's payday tomorrow!

Skint seems very subjective in this context. Skint to some is literally paying the bills, buying food and then having nothing left over to enjoy days out. I think your day sounds lovely op, and you seem to be good with budgeting etc. I'd just be more careful with wordings, as it can be very disheartening to people when they see posts like this.

Now I can't get the tune out my head... Thanks for that @araiwa!
I've listened to it twice.

You're not skint. You're just on a budget. If you really couldn't afford food or even second hand shoes for your DC, I can assure you that you wouldn't enjoy it.

I will say, I'm like you. All our bills are paid. We can afford to eat and clothe ourselves. We can afford the odd treat. However, we are on a budget. I do love bargain hunting and getting special offers

Typical mn overreaction and dramatisation.

100% agree, MN typical my hardship trumps yours, it’s not a competition!

You are entitled to your view op.
But for many skint is a nightmare, going without food, no heating or anything.
No gadgets and holes in shoes. £24 would have been a luxury.
I have been both skint and whilst we are far from rich. There is no worries about food, I have too many clothes ( many 20 years and the little summer dress I wore yesterday has to be more than 40 years old )
There was no pleasure in being truly skint.
It is great knowing that I can eat what I want ( I know that is partly why I am overweight), no putting cardboard insoles in shoes because there is a hole, being able to afford clothes and the basics. And prior to covid enjoyed modest holidays short haul abroad.
I never want to be skint again. I am careful with money like so many and enjoy a bargain.

@Welcometotheterrorzone

I'm sorry but the only people who I know who have struggled to feed their kids are the working poor, as in those who aren't eligible for much but genuinely struggle. My friend on UC (but earns more than me) gets a huge hamper of food every two weeks which she doesn't have to pick up, it's delivered. She also gets free holiday club all summer, with a bag of food to take home for dinner. This might be a postcode lottery type thing but it's not as clear cut as those on benefits are starving and those who work are tucking into cote de beouf every night. A couple with a mortgage, with one self employed, and childcare costs are usually the ones I see in financial difficulties.

Not everybody on welfare has a charmed life. And the people who have mortgages and so on are obviously going to be in a better position 20 years down the line when they are mortgage free than the other person.

I don't get this thread.
OP started off 'privileged' in the OP and just playing at being skint. But then a few drip feeds posts in says she had her electricity cut off for not paying her bills, well that's not privileged is it? 🤷🏼‍♀️

I think you'd have been better saying 'AIBU to enjoy sticking to a budget.'

Is a ‘bit skint’ even a thing?

@WitchBaby

I don't get this thread. OP started off 'privileged' in the OP and just playing at being skint. But then a few drip feeds posts in says she had her electricity cut off for not paying her bills, well that's not privileged is it? 🤷🏼‍♀️

Cynical moi is wondering if that would have been mentioned at all if the thread had gone 100% her way from the outset...

@FrankButchersDickieBow

My friend on UC (but earns more than me) gets a huge hamper of food every two weeks which she doesn't have to pick up, it's delivered. She also gets free holiday club all summer, with a bag of food to take home for dinner

Ahh right. I was actually waiting for the OP to get this in somewhere.

I thought it would have been sooner tbh.

Right. So a benefit bashing thread in disguise.

Typical MN unless you are living in a cardboard box in the middle of the road etc. etc. you are not allowed to say anything about sometimes not being flush with cash. I think you had a brilliant day out on not much money and our budgeting skills are better than mine.

God, lighten up people. She is not "playing at being poor" She has acknowledged that she is lucky to have a home and food on the table, but equally she buys second hand and reduced food as they have to be very careful with money. She's not a millionaire pretending to be poor for the day.

OP, I get what you're saying.

I'm ok for money. Not loaded but ok. I could go into a gift shop and say "chose whatever you want" and I could pay for it. It would have an effect on my finances though and it isn't something I'd do because it would be a stupid waste of my money.

Basically, I don't have enough to say "choose what you want" and it not matter. And I do sometimes wonder what it would to be so wealthy that I could just do that all the time. And while that thought is initially attractive, I can see how very quickly you wouldn't really get any joy out of that.

So yes, I completely understand the joy at finding something you want that is reduced or just within your budget. I get what you are saying.

Visiting bakeries, National trust properties, sweet shops and even having a spare £24 for a day is not skint, OP. Far, far from it. You were just on a budget for the day. How many days of the month are you deciding between food or putting money on the electricity meter?

And as much as some people would scoff at me for this, I have a massive bugbear with people who have their bills all covered and spare money to play with on nice days out buying up all the yellow sticker items. Families who really really struggle are desperate for lower priced goods, but there's you hoarding them in your massive freezer and skipping merrily through National trust properties on a lovely day out, with money left over for toys and sweets. Those other families can't even dream of it because they're unlikely to be able to visit multiple supermarkets and swipe up all their perishables for cut prices, so every penny goes on bills and food, with much juggling and corner cutting.

I fully understand what you mean OP
I grew up on the breadline and it was very hard but we were happy and very careful. I remember going on free/ very cheap days out and dreaming about being able to buy food from the cafe, get a big ice cream or buy something more than a pencil (if I was very lucky) from the gift shop.

My sibling and I had so many ‘if we had lots of money’ fantasises and would play imaginary games together over what we would do. We took SOOOO much pleasure in little treats.

No I have plenty of money and it turns out the cafe food is usually shit, the ice cream has become normal and the gift shop is just overpriced tat. I miss the joy of fantasising. I have 2 small children of my own and my DH thinks I’m crackers because I fully intend to conceal that we can afford things from them.

I’m gonna make them choose between an ice cream or a ride on the carousel, even though we can easily afford both, because I think they’ll enjoy it more and it’ll make them better people xx

@Notcontent

I am assuming you don’t mean to offend anyone but really, your post is so out of touch….

Why do you think that.?

You’re far from being skint. Very, very far.

Nothing wrong with being frugal and seeing how far you can make your money stretch. It’s a good skill to have. But I imagine anyone who is genuinely skint reading your post would not be terribly impressed.

Come back and tell us how fantastic it is when you are REALLY skint OP.

I won't hold my breath.

Being skint = not having enough money for your basic needs. That is not you. YABU.

[quote 3ormorecharactersss]@namechangeno7 I don’t buy reduced bits because it’s like feeding time at the zoo usually, but I’ve never thought about it that way. Your post would definitely make me think twice in the future.[/quote]
I also find it a mad rush, but I know all too well that half of the people there are just desperate to save some money so that a bill can be paid or a school uniform can be bought and the other half are like OP, smug over saving a fiver that they didn't need, unless you believe all of OPs drip feeding and hole digging about having her electricity cut off twice after she stated she was fine for mortgage payments and bills....

@EmeraldShamrock

Now I can't get the tune out my head... Thanks for that @araiwa! I've listened to it twice.

You're going to be humming it for weeks now... Be warned!

@Lonelylooloo

I fully understand what you mean OP I grew up on the breadline and it was very hard but we were happy and very careful. I remember going on free/ very cheap days out and dreaming about being able to buy food from the cafe, get a big ice cream or buy something more than a pencil (if I was very lucky) from the gift shop.

My sibling and I had so many ‘if we had lots of money’ fantasises and would play imaginary games together over what we would do. We took SOOOO much pleasure in little treats.

No I have plenty of money and it turns out the cafe food is usually shit, the ice cream has become normal and the gift shop is just overpriced tat. I miss the joy of fantasising. I have 2 small children of my own and my DH thinks I’m crackers because I fully intend to conceal that we can afford things from them.

I’m gonna make them choose between an ice cream or a ride on the carousel, even though we can easily afford both, because I think they’ll enjoy it more and it’ll make them better people xx

This is what I was trying to say. You've put it much more eloquently than me.

Sharing subscriptions is stealing and pushes prices up for those of us who do pay full price.

@icedcoffees

I am sorry you are getting flak on here. It's inevitable and not a nice side of MNet.

Personally I don't think it's very nice to post about "loving being skint" when you're clearly not skint.

This. ^

Dreadful thread.

And the 'Jesus lighten up' brigade can do one.

As has been said, being ACTUALLY SKINT is no picnic. It's dreadful. It ruins lives, and affects peoples mental health...

@Welcometotheterrorzone this thread is in very poor taste. Ask for it to be deleted FFS.