To enjoy being a bit skint

[Welcometotheterrorzone]

I realise this might sound really privileged to some.
We are by no means struggling to pay our mortgage or buy food. We both have alright jobs, low paid but steady and enough to pay for a lovely house in a rough part of town. Like I said, we do alright but have to budget in order to have Christmas and holidays. We camp, we don't eat out, we share subscriptions with friends, we have one car, we buy second hand everything, we use freetogo apps etc to save. I am an obsessive yellow sticker shopper and do not pay full price for any meat, bread, milk or fruit as I hit different supermarkets at different times and have a huge freezer to store it all in. We eat veggie 70% of the time too.
Yesterday it was a one off treat day for DS as he's starting school. I had £24 for the day and no access to anymore money. We had such a lovely time, bakery lunch, went to a national trust place where just going in the grounds is a lot cheaper than tickets for the house so did that, treated them to an ice lolly and found a Poundland on the way home for a toy instead of getting (the same quality) toy in the gift shop. I was a bit worried at one point as we walked past this amazing sweet shop and I thought that they were going to ask for something I couldn't afford (only had £2 left by this point as we were on our way to the train station) but brilliantly they had a reduced section with these Harry Potter chocolate bars for 50p so still had a £1 at the end of it.
My aibu is that I don't want to lose this feeling of joy that we have found something that fits our budget and makes me feel like I'm treating them. I've had times where I felt really down that I can't just say 'choose whatever you like' but I think every parent sets limits so I'm not being unnecessary harsh. I'm trying to teach them to find pleasure in small things, and that finding the right toy in a charity shop is better than going to a big toy shop full of plastic where you can choose anything. I hope they don't resent me for it.
Luckily it's payday tomorrow!

[quote notanothertakeaway]OP reminds me of this story,
about a private school doing an 'austerity lunch'
www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-44578499.amp[/quote]
Are you quite seriously comparing OP - who scraped together £24 over a period of several weeks in order to treat her kid to one day out and some sweets - to the über wealthy pupils of an £8k per term private school? Fuck me. How do you not understand that it’s you who is being deeply offensive and tone deaf.

@VeryLongBeeeeep

IWantToBreakFree the fact that probably the majority of people on this thread have all pointed out that they don't think 'skint' describes the OP's situation suggests a consensus view that it means 'poor'. Yes, some people say "I'm skint until I get paid"...some people also say "I'm starving, is it lunchtime?" That doesn't mean they actually are starving, any more than the people who use "skint until payday" are actually skint the way most people understand the word.

I think enough people have argued the opposite to prove that there is ambiguity to the meaning of the word. It makes no sense to continue to batter OP over the head about it when it is extremely obvious by now that not everyone thinks ‘skint’ means completely destitute. It’s nonsensical. She doesn’t mean what you are all holding her to account for. That’s not what the word means to her and her definition is not less valid than yours.

I don’t think this thread demonstrates anything other than how much people love a pile on and a bit of bullying tbh.

I think the title is someone ill thought out. What i think you mean is " aibu to enjoy budgeting." £ 150 week on days out aint skint.

Boris Johnson calls £250k ‘chicken feed’ attracts under 2 pages of comments, many of them not angry.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/in_the_news/791176-Boris-calls-his-additonal-250k-salary-chickenfeed

Woman in precarious financial situation scapes together £24 over the course of the holidays to treat her son attracts 13 pages and counting. Many responses are vicious or manipulative claiming she’s making people cry.

OP is the victim of a deliberate campaign by people who are pretending they are poor to kick a struggling person down. They don’t want people like her to have any pride, to feel good about themselves or aspire to more. When you start seeing people post that she is at the same level as an £8k a term private school, the agenda becomes obvious.

Look at all the examples the various dictionary websites give for usage. A lot of “I’m a bit skint before payday this month”. That doesn’t mean crushing poverty to me. You're right.
My explanation Skint is down to the bones the brown coins and a few receipts in your purse. Meant similar, skint till payday not destitute, I'm not great with wording.

OP’s use of the word is fine.
It is fine.
I have to agree the thread is bonkers.
Admittedly I'd find it difficult to have a day out on OP'S budget.
You done well OP, the DC had a lovely time, job done.

This thread is bonkers. People use skint as a relative term. I've just driven to the seaside and spent almost £24 already. £10 on coffee on way, approx £10 on petrol and £2.50 on parking. That's before we dander round the shops and get a chippy lunch.

@IWantT0BreakFree

they used a certain word which to most people means being on their arse and wishing they had £24 for a day out

You’re describing poverty. I have never heard people use the word ‘skint’ IRL to describe actual poverty. In my experience, ‘skint’ means that money is tight, but it’s clear from this thread that it means different things to different people. If you accept that there is no real definition of the word because it’s just slang (which you seem to, since you say “to most people it means…”) then why can’t you accept that other people, including Op, don’t ascribe the same meaning to it as you do? Why is only your definition correct? Some words have multiple or ambiguous meanings. It is nonsensical to deliberately take offence at the use of a word like that when it’s obvious you are applying a different meaning to it than the OP. It’s nothing more than a flimsy excuse to pile on an OP who has received scores of nasty comments. It’s bullying at this point.

Very intelligent point you've made there actually.

I don’t think this thread demonstrates anything other than how much people love a pile on and a bit of bullying tbh.

Yeah, there are some absolute shitwitches on this thread. Really depressing to see.

I agree with others, a bit out of touch 😂 We had a no spend day yesterday which we were quite chuffed about. DH then said to me that he was chuffed that we’d also had a no spend day the day before…until I reminded him that we’d spent £1100 on things for our new house 🏡 The best laid plans and all that.

@JackieWeaverHandforthCouncil

Boris Johnson calls £250k ‘chicken feed’ attracts under 2 pages of comments, many of them not angry.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/in_the_news/791176-Boris-calls-his-additonal-250k-salary-chickenfeed

Woman in precarious financial situation scapes together £24 over the course of the holidays to treat her son attracts 13 pages and counting. Many responses are vicious or manipulative claiming she’s making people cry.

OP is the victim of a deliberate campaign by people who are pretending they are poor to kick a struggling person down. They don’t want people like her to have any pride, to feel good about themselves or aspire to more. When you start seeing people post that she is at the same level as an £8k a term private school, the agenda becomes obvious.

It is really disgusting the way people have piled on. Guarantee that none of these people have a fucking clue what it is to live in poverty - people who have been through that have a bit more understanding and compassion for other people's money struggles. They are just bullies and shitwitches.

I've only read your OP. Sounds exhausting to be looking for deals all the time, but if you enjoy it then it works for you. Though my mum insisted that we shopped around when we were younger and it drove me barmy. Walking around the shops for an hour or more to save less than a fiver (when I don't need to) isn't worth it to me. Now that I'm am adult, I feel very guilty and anxious about spending money, whereas my sibling spends it like water. Not sure if being aware of my parents constant penny pinching has anything to do with it, who knows.

National trust membership is a good investment btw. £10.50 per month for a family membership.

I doubt any of the charity shops in my local town would have wedding outfits that those at a posh wedding would envy. I think those who scrimp and save when they don't have to can be quite joyless, and maybe their kids would actually like the toy at the gift shop sometimes rather than going to Poundland after.
Each to their own but the OP obviously isn't skint.

@RedHelenB

I doubt any of the charity shops in my local town would have wedding outfits that those at a posh wedding would envy. I think those who scrimp and save when they don't have to can be quite joyless, and maybe their kids would actually like the toy at the gift shop sometimes rather than going to Poundland after. Each to their own but the OP obviously isn't skint.

The point was that the OP couldn't afford the toy in the gift shop. Did you miss that bit? And she certainly didn't sound joyless to me, quite the opposite.

Tone deaf!

Having £24 for a day out is not being 'skint'.

It’s not bullying to disagree with someone on aibu. Sometimes I think mumsnet wants to open up a new section called ‘I’m not being unreasonable, don’t say I am.’

Plenty of people have disagreed with her use of ‘skint’ while still giving warm and friendly responses.

This thread is crazy.

Deary me.

@RedHelenB

I doubt any of the charity shops in my local town would have wedding outfits that those at a posh wedding would envy. I think those who scrimp and save when they don't have to can be quite joyless, and maybe their kids would actually like the toy at the gift shop sometimes rather than going to Poundland after. Each to their own but the OP obviously isn't skint.

To me it's a bit joyless if the only way you can create a good time is to throw money at it. But as you say, each to their own.

I’ve been very very poor ( not eating to feed the kids , electricity on emergency credit kind of poor) and then comfortably off , but with a stressful job that left me sick and was not sustainable . now I’m retired and manage but have to be very careful . I feel a real sense of achievement at managing and enjoy the small treats for myself or grandchildren more than if money was no object . It has made me more conscious of the value of things ( not just monetary value) and aware of how much we waste .i have enough .

I feel a bit sorry for the OP getting so much flak - but its hardly suprising. Perhaps you should delete this missguided post. It really is a bit insensitive.

Friend on UC gets a massive hamper of food every fortnight? Really? Where does she get that from then? And free holiday club all summer? I presume you are talking about the HAF scheme? Families on FSM could send their DC to holiday club for the morning with lunch provided for up to 16 days over the summer holiday - so, no not all summer and bags of food were not part of the scheme either.

@araiwa

Op,

Do you come from Greece?
Do you have a thirst for knowledge?

This comment wins

I doubt anyone in the position of crying to hmrc or having no electric would enjoy the feeling of being skint. You enjoy being frugal not skint. Think you confused yourself in trying to say that.

You're not skint though are you OP?

Your post is really nasty, you have no idea what skint means or feels like, evidently.

I'm wondering if actually the op meant only a 'bit skint' and opposed to 'totally skint'.

Whatever, her title wasn't the most appropriately worded but if you read the post it's not exactly offensive

Loads of people use 'skint' when they are not literally down to the last penny. It's a slang term. I usually think of it as not having enough money to go out.

If somebody is in dire straits to the point where they £2 for the next two weeks I would be surprised if they used 'skint' to describe their situation.

And actually if the op has only managed to scrimp together £24 across the whole summer holiday for ONE day out then she is pretty hard up/skint, not destitute, but skint.

She's hardly gloating about her wealth she sets out the struggle she had to get the money together.