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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To enjoy being a bit skint

337 replies

Welcometotheterrorzone · 26/08/2021 08:39

I realise this might sound really privileged to some.
We are by no means struggling to pay our mortgage or buy food. We both have alright jobs, low paid but steady and enough to pay for a lovely house in a rough part of town. Like I said, we do alright but have to budget in order to have Christmas and holidays. We camp, we don't eat out, we share subscriptions with friends, we have one car, we buy second hand everything, we use freetogo apps etc to save. I am an obsessive yellow sticker shopper and do not pay full price for any meat, bread, milk or fruit as I hit different supermarkets at different times and have a huge freezer to store it all in. We eat veggie 70% of the time too.
Yesterday it was a one off treat day for DS as he's starting school. I had £24 for the day and no access to anymore money. We had such a lovely time, bakery lunch, went to a national trust place where just going in the grounds is a lot cheaper than tickets for the house so did that, treated them to an ice lolly and found a Poundland on the way home for a toy instead of getting (the same quality) toy in the gift shop. I was a bit worried at one point as we walked past this amazing sweet shop and I thought that they were going to ask for something I couldn't afford (only had £2 left by this point as we were on our way to the train station) but brilliantly they had a reduced section with these Harry Potter chocolate bars for 50p so still had a £1 at the end of it.
My aibu is that I don't want to lose this feeling of joy that we have found something that fits our budget and makes me feel like I'm treating them. I've had times where I felt really down that I can't just say 'choose whatever you like' but I think every parent sets limits so I'm not being unnecessary harsh. I'm trying to teach them to find pleasure in small things, and that finding the right toy in a charity shop is better than going to a big toy shop full of plastic where you can choose anything. I hope they don't resent me for it.
Luckily it's payday tomorrow!

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 26/08/2021 09:00

[quote Welcometotheterrorzone]@icedcoffees I've been really skint. I've been the person crying on the phone to HMRC when they stopped my tax credits for six months. Ive had to explain to my boss that I would have to resign as no tax credits means I can't afford childcare so therefore won't be able to work. I've still got debt from that time. Things are a lot better now that I'm not paying childcare for two kids. What my post was saying was that I don't want to lose this, I don't want to ever think that finding a quid isn't really exciting. I don't want to become. This choice (being able to spend money) is sometimes daunting (as there were days when I couldn't ever spend money) and I find it hard to not go crazy and buy my kids everything. [/quote]
How much were you loving that call to the Hmrc then? And if you get off on the excitement of finding a pound and like it, go you. Most don’t. Nor would they wish to.

TartanJumper · 26/08/2021 09:01

Your not skint, though are you?
You wouldn't enjoy having to make a food shop last for 2 weeks, or trying to choose between food and heating.
You have enough for the necessities, and some left over for treats.

powershowerforanhour · 26/08/2021 09:02

My aibu is that I don't want to lose this feeling of joy that we have found something that fits our budget and makes me feel like I'm treating them

Well money doesn't automatically turn you into an arsehole so I'm sure you will be equally happy if you win the lottery.

ComeonJulia · 26/08/2021 09:02

To me, that’s skint.

To my cousin, that’s less than she has for the month after her bills are paid and that’s before she does a food shop for her and her 3 children. Try having £20 to feed 4 people for a month and then maybe you won’t find it so fun and cool.

I don’t really understand why you posted this?

Bluntness100 · 26/08/2021 09:04

Op are you saving for your kids? Maybe your excitement could be better places elsewhere?

GoodnightGrandma · 26/08/2021 09:05

I think that the best days out are often the free ones. My kids much preferred a day on the beach to expensive theme parks.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 26/08/2021 09:07

I think it would have been better if you had said ‘enjoy budgeting’ or ‘enjoy getting value for money’ instead of ‘enjoy being a bit skint.’

That’s what you seem to be getting at in any case!

readingismycardio · 26/08/2021 09:09

I think what you mean is even though you have the cash you love to budget.

MrsRobbieHart · 26/08/2021 09:09

Sounds marvellous Hmm

Surely what you were really enjoying was being able to treat your DC?

MrsRobbieHart · 26/08/2021 09:09

I mean, are you saying you wouldn’t have enjoyed the day if you could have afforded to spend more? Confused

Jerseygirl12 · 26/08/2021 09:10

A bit of a funny post I think. If you was skint then you’d not have gone to a paying place but spent the day at a park or walking around the woods and packed a lunch and some snacks.

Original poster
Welcometotheterrorzone · 26/08/2021 09:11

Rich and poor doesn't just apply to money though does it?
There's a lovely couple I know from school who both don't work. I might have a few quid for an ice cream after school but I only do one pick up per week so which is better for children? The ice cream or being in afterschool club four days, hearing all their friends talk about adventures at the local park at 3.30 which they are never part of?
Why am I never able to talk of others being rich in time with their children? I have two weeks or less off with mine in the summer. Apart from that they're shipped off to holiday clubs, relatives and friends who I've organised swaps with. My friend was moaning about her child getting on her nerves after being with her 24 hours for the summer holidays, I don't see that is any more sensitive than my post.

OP posts:
Auntienumber8 · 26/08/2021 09:11

There are always people worse or better off than all of us. This online resource is useful though subject to debate ifs.org.uk/tools_and_resources/where_do_you_fit_in

What your describing is what your life is like on your income and how £24 is a major treat for you to be able to spend on totally unnecessary items and to afford that you have have to save and spend a lot of time budgeting and micro managing your income.

People will start to quote absolute poverty. What your doing is describing how your managing your income well.

One of DH mates is incredibly well off but he is still terrible at money management . He has the room to make mistakes but he is such an idiot with it I have contempt for him if I’m honest.

Didiusfalco · 26/08/2021 09:12

I’d get the title changed to something like the pp said ‘enjoy budgeting’ is so much less inflammatory than being skint.

ActonSquirrel · 26/08/2021 09:13

We are by no means struggling to pay our mortgage or buy food. We both have alright jobs, low paid but steady and enough to pay for a lovely house in a rough part of town.

I got that far. You aren't skint. Don't know the meaning of the word

MrsRobbieHart · 26/08/2021 09:13

@Welcometotheterrorzone

Rich and poor doesn't just apply to money though does it? There's a lovely couple I know from school who both don't work. I might have a few quid for an ice cream after school but I only do one pick up per week so which is better for children? The ice cream or being in afterschool club four days, hearing all their friends talk about adventures at the local park at 3.30 which they are never part of? Why am I never able to talk of others being rich in time with their children? I have two weeks or less off with mine in the summer. Apart from that they're shipped off to holiday clubs, relatives and friends who I've organised swaps with. My friend was moaning about her child getting on her nerves after being with her 24 hours for the summer holidays, I don't see that is any more sensitive than my post.
So quit your job and be with your kids. Sure you love being skint anyway.
Getyourarseofffthequattro · 26/08/2021 09:14

@icedcoffees

I am sorry you are getting flak on here. It's inevitable and not a nice side of MNet.

Personally I don't think it's very nice to post about "loving being skint" when you're clearly not skint.

It's subjective though isn't it?

I'd feel really skint if I only had £24 before payday (I have been in this situation frequently in years gone by!) But my friend would feel skint if she only had £500 in her account and £10k in savings - by comparison I would feel rich with that amount.

It's different for everyone.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 26/08/2021 09:14

I love being skint too. Just last year I had to choose between buying gas or electric and weighing up the pros and cons of both. Fun times.

Original poster
Welcometotheterrorzone · 26/08/2021 09:16

I think I am skint. I don't ever have any money at the end of the week. If I had to pay for something today, I wouldn't be able to, my partner wouldn't either, we don't have savings we can access apart from the kids ones which are locked until 18. I think that's skint in many peoples books, not budgeting knowing you've got £800 in the bank. Having to budget so you can have a £25 day out at the end of the summer holidays is hardly flush. We chose this place rather than the wood or park as there was something as there was something of interest in this place for my son and it was his special day.

OP posts:
Original poster
Welcometotheterrorzone · 26/08/2021 09:17

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult why do you think that hadn't happened to me. I had my electric turned off due to lack of funds twice this summer, defrosted all my food and everything.

OP posts:
AuldFox · 26/08/2021 09:18

Errr you enjoy being frugal, not skint.
I assure you you wouldn’t enjoy having no money to feed your kids. Do you not see how your post is offensive?

BikeRunSki · 26/08/2021 09:21

£24 for a day out is not skint!

YouJustDoYou · 26/08/2021 09:22

Oh dear

Cornflowerdream · 26/08/2021 09:23

@Sobeyondthehills

Try having that £24 to get you through the fucking 6 weeks of summer holidays and then come back and tell me you like being skint
Is this actually your position or are you just spoiling for a fight?
DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 26/08/2021 09:25

[quote Welcometotheterrorzone]@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult why do you think that hadn't happened to me. I had my electric turned off due to lack of funds twice this summer, defrosted all my food and everything.[/quote]
Mainly I thought that because of your op.

Surprised you had a spare £24 if you struggled so much your electric went off twice already this summer for long enough to defrost everything.

What a turn around in your circumstances. Well done you.