To enjoy being a bit skint

[Welcometotheterrorzone]

I realise this might sound really privileged to some.
We are by no means struggling to pay our mortgage or buy food. We both have alright jobs, low paid but steady and enough to pay for a lovely house in a rough part of town. Like I said, we do alright but have to budget in order to have Christmas and holidays. We camp, we don't eat out, we share subscriptions with friends, we have one car, we buy second hand everything, we use freetogo apps etc to save. I am an obsessive yellow sticker shopper and do not pay full price for any meat, bread, milk or fruit as I hit different supermarkets at different times and have a huge freezer to store it all in. We eat veggie 70% of the time too.
Yesterday it was a one off treat day for DS as he's starting school. I had £24 for the day and no access to anymore money. We had such a lovely time, bakery lunch, went to a national trust place where just going in the grounds is a lot cheaper than tickets for the house so did that, treated them to an ice lolly and found a Poundland on the way home for a toy instead of getting (the same quality) toy in the gift shop. I was a bit worried at one point as we walked past this amazing sweet shop and I thought that they were going to ask for something I couldn't afford (only had £2 left by this point as we were on our way to the train station) but brilliantly they had a reduced section with these Harry Potter chocolate bars for 50p so still had a £1 at the end of it.
My aibu is that I don't want to lose this feeling of joy that we have found something that fits our budget and makes me feel like I'm treating them. I've had times where I felt really down that I can't just say 'choose whatever you like' but I think every parent sets limits so I'm not being unnecessary harsh. I'm trying to teach them to find pleasure in small things, and that finding the right toy in a charity shop is better than going to a big toy shop full of plastic where you can choose anything. I hope they don't resent me for it.
Luckily it's payday tomorrow!

@Bluntness100 you're always so tiresome on threads. I'm not saying I never want to to change, I'm saying that i don't want to lose this feeling of appreciating the little things. Yes with that comes feelings of failure at times, but also joy, relief, exhilaration. Finding a dress for a friends wedding for £3 in Cancer Research and everyone asking where you got it. Not that complex is it.

It's not so much as do I 'want' it to change as I 'know' it will not change as neither of us are in the sorts of positions where you get promotions and pay rises.. so yes, I learn to be content with where we're at

I totally get you OP and I love your approach. I've just come back from a lavish short break with some well off friends. Their children are wandering around in designer gear, they have money on tap, can have whatever they want, whenever they want. They have loads of these kinds of holidays.

They are lovely children, but I can't help but feel that it must all get a bit meaningless and hollow for them. When you can have whatever you want, whenever you want, do you get to the stage of thinking "what's the point?"

For us, the weekend was a massive treat and we were just delighted with everything. Because it was their normal, they didn't seem to get as much out of it. Or didn't seem to anyway.

I can't believe what I've just read.

Oh yes it is great fun especially just for a day. 🤔 "I wanna live like common people" An experience.

Weve had a lot of 'cheap' days out this summer... I say cheap as they didn't cost much at the time, but had initial investment into them.

1. having a car so we can get to various places
2. camping... actually owning the camping equipment
3. zoo trips as we have season tickets... per visit we are now less than £10per person and only 4 months in.
4. we own a canoe, plus safety equipment, and a waterways licence. Lots of cheap fun.
5. DDs went to a caravan park at the seaside for a week... its owned by distant relatives and the family rate is lower.

Even having a big freezer means you can live cheaper.

Like the majority, we have to watch our spending... but definitely not skint.

Enjoy what you have.

@AuldFox

Errr you enjoy being frugal, not skint. I assure you you wouldn’t enjoy having no money to feed your kids. Do you not see how your post is offensive?

Totally agree that you’re just digging a hole now.

I agree with with @AuldFox It’s fine to say that you’re proud of being frugal, and that you hope you don’t lose sight of that.

I grew up with a childhood where the day you described wouldn’t have happened. But a trip to a free park would. No bought food, and pound shops weren’t everywhere. I earn quite a lot now. I still appreciate when something is free or well priced, I haven’t lost that.

You really hit a wrong note saying you enjoy being skint though. And you’re making it worse with the hole digging.

Sounds nice OP. It sounds quite like my own childhood, where money was tight, but we managed to have fun, and looking back now as someone with plenty I really appreciate the fact that our parents managed so well with what they had.

Don't worry too much about the knockers. We all have different thresholds of where skint is. I think you were pretty clear about that in your first post. And I agree that there's a lot of joy in having to think carefully about what you spend. It's a bit like living in a small flat where you have to think carefully about what possessions you can fit in and where everything should be kept to use the space most efficiently.

I understand OP. I like knowing that we can have a really good time on a modest budget. It’s freeing.

@icedcoffees

I am sorry you are getting flak on here. It's inevitable and not a nice side of MNet.

Personally I don't think it's very nice to post about "loving being skint" when you're clearly not skint.

Exactly this. Unbelievably insensitive post.

Welcometotheterrorzone I get what you are saying regarding the dress. I’m the same, recently I went out to a mega posh restaurant wearing a £5 ebay dress and got a really good feeling knowing it was £5. My household income is in the top 1% according to the link upthread but I still want value for money. I’ll buy my hot chocolate for 99p in McDonald’s instead of £3 in Costa.
I think your thread is wrongly titled.

I get it OP .You like to feel you have VFM! I see where you are coming from.On here seems a bit of a gap from the 50k and upwards posters ,to the quiet "JAMS "( "Just About Managing") As Mrs May coined them! Seems like you had a lovely day .NT is not "free" though as a monthly subscription is needed surely.Maybe instead of skint (Someone at local park who cant afford an Ice cream) say you are "managing" without a lot to spare?

I think the op chose an unfortunately worded title.

If she had said 'to enjoy budgeting' it would have been met with a different response

It is a odd choice of title but I understand the point she was making. She was pleased with herself for having a nice day out for £24.

Obviously some people on here will blow £24 every day on just ice creams others have £24 for the whole holiday.

That doesn't take away from the substance of the OP.

Some people love to get offended.

@ComeonJulia

To me, that’s skint.

To my cousin, that’s less than she has for the month after her bills are paid and that’s before she does a food shop for her and her 3 children. Try having £20 to feed 4 people for a month and then maybe you won’t find it so fun and cool.

I don’t really understand why you posted this?

Jesus. How does your cousin do it?!

You’re not actually skint, OP.

It’s good that you’re teaching your DC the value of money and budgeting, but your post is very boastful and insensitive to those who genuinely struggle.

Sounds like a really, really lovely day!

I think people are being vaguely ridiculous getting worked up about this.

You said you were a bit skint, and I'd say £24 for a whole day is a bit skint! You didn't say you were living in dire poverty/barely surviving!

While having £24 is not at all skint - and is more than the vast majority have for any entertainment activities, I get that you enjoyed having a frugal day and getting value for your money. Most people I know that are half normal enjoy this too.

My friends took their children charity shopping this week and gave them a few quid to get what they wanted and boy they loved it and wouldn't stop talking about it. Will be doing to same with mine as they want to try it now! It's important to teach children skills about living frugally, that the same in a gift shop is overpriced and an alternative can usually be found nearby, that ice cream doesn't taste any different if you buy a multi pack Cornetto rather than one from an ice cream shop.

Some people lack imagination and don't think you can do anything without lots of money. They often complain about being bored and don't know how to live frugally or on a budget. You seem to be saying you don't want to end up like that, which is fair enough! Carry on

It is good that you know how to budget and pass this on to the DC.
Your wording was off.
It is nice when you find things you can afford, I agree.

I get where the OP is coming from. I've had months in the past where I'm 'skint' towards the end. However, I still paid my Netflix and Spotify subscriptions, made 'unnecessary' trips to gym/friends house in my diesel guzzling truck, and put the usual amount in my savings account and share save accounts etc. I usually consider myself 'skint' when I don't have any money left to do ad hoc things outside of the usual. I'm well aware this isn't the same as living on gruel.

OP I’m glad you had such a lovely day. I don’t really understand the AIBU and the thread title, but it’s great you and your family had a nice day to end the summer holidays.

Some MN posters are literally offended by EVERYTHING.

@VestaTilley

You’re not actually skint, OP.

It’s good that you’re teaching your DC the value of money and budgeting, but your post is very boastful and insensitive to those who genuinely struggle.

The thing is, when people post that they’ve come into money or have ‘£500 to treat themselves’ or earn six figures or want to buy an expensive item and they ask about it on here, we don’t berate them for being insensitive so we? OP wanted to share her nice day after some tough times, she just used some poor choice of words. It doesn’t have to be a beat down to the bottom.

@araiwa

Op,

Do you come from Greece?
Do you have a thirst for knowledge?

Was just thinking the same thing!

@LegoCaltrops

You're right. It does sound privileged. A car, owning your own lovely home, holidays, both employed, trips out, a huge freezer (which of course needs a decent sized kitchen or other space to store it in). No-one who is actually skint enjoys it. Try it for several years, then come back to us.

Totally agree.

You don’t understand the meaning of “skint”.