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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To enjoy being a bit skint

337 replies

Welcometotheterrorzone · 26/08/2021 08:39

I realise this might sound really privileged to some.
We are by no means struggling to pay our mortgage or buy food. We both have alright jobs, low paid but steady and enough to pay for a lovely house in a rough part of town. Like I said, we do alright but have to budget in order to have Christmas and holidays. We camp, we don't eat out, we share subscriptions with friends, we have one car, we buy second hand everything, we use freetogo apps etc to save. I am an obsessive yellow sticker shopper and do not pay full price for any meat, bread, milk or fruit as I hit different supermarkets at different times and have a huge freezer to store it all in. We eat veggie 70% of the time too.
Yesterday it was a one off treat day for DS as he's starting school. I had £24 for the day and no access to anymore money. We had such a lovely time, bakery lunch, went to a national trust place where just going in the grounds is a lot cheaper than tickets for the house so did that, treated them to an ice lolly and found a Poundland on the way home for a toy instead of getting (the same quality) toy in the gift shop. I was a bit worried at one point as we walked past this amazing sweet shop and I thought that they were going to ask for something I couldn't afford (only had £2 left by this point as we were on our way to the train station) but brilliantly they had a reduced section with these Harry Potter chocolate bars for 50p so still had a £1 at the end of it.
My aibu is that I don't want to lose this feeling of joy that we have found something that fits our budget and makes me feel like I'm treating them. I've had times where I felt really down that I can't just say 'choose whatever you like' but I think every parent sets limits so I'm not being unnecessary harsh. I'm trying to teach them to find pleasure in small things, and that finding the right toy in a charity shop is better than going to a big toy shop full of plastic where you can choose anything. I hope they don't resent me for it.
Luckily it's payday tomorrow!

OP posts:
Heathcliff27 · 26/08/2021 09:25

I pretend I'm rich till the credit card bill comes in

FlumpsAreShit · 26/08/2021 09:25

Oh come on, this isn't the pain Olympics. It's nice the OP is comfortable now and can take joy in scrimping. Yes, there are people with less but also many people who can easily spend more than £24 on a couple of drinks.

I know what you mean OP. I've been a single mum with not enough food to feed me after I fed my daughter. Now we are comfortable I still struggle to spend money sometimes and really enjoy the sport of saving money. It helps me feel safe and secure.

Sally872 · 26/08/2021 09:26

You are not skint you just don't have unlimited disposable income, very few people do. Even those who are well have to make choices they just have more options.

Yanbu to appreciate the £24 and create a fun day out sticking to your budget rather than wishing you could do more, that is an excellent attitude. Yabu to consider it being skint.

LAgeDeRaisin · 26/08/2021 09:26

Urgh it's the hardship competition OP. I'm waiting for someone to point out that families in Kabul would love to have £24 left to cover 2 weeks of living and all those saying that's REAL hardship are insulting their struggle.

The OP had a nice day on a modest budget. She has posted about how she had a special day with £24 including lunch for an adult and 2 children. The post was fine, and a good reminder that we don't need to spend a fortune to have a special treat day out.

The whole 'many have it worse' brigade are such bores.

"I'm so thankful I only lost 1 arm in this tragic accodent, you can still enjoy life with one arm"

"Well fuck you OP lots of people lost both arms"

ComeonJulia · 26/08/2021 09:26

If you’re having your electric cut off you shouldn’t be spending £24 on a day out. So instead of trying to come across as frugal, be honest and say you have poor money management.

YouJustDoYou · 26/08/2021 09:27

I had my electric turned off due to lack of funds twice this summer, defrosted all my food and everything

Well then it's foolish to spend £24 on a day out on stuff you don't need when you've ALREADY been unable to pay the bills not once but TWICE in one summer, wasting an entire freezer full of food TWICE you say you spent so much time accumulating from the yellow sticker sections etc. My friend's are like you - will have their electricity cut off, can't pay their rent, their kids are upset because yet again the bills haven't been paid and yet they'll go and spend £25 on takeaway "as a treat", and it's like - you can't do that when you have bills to pay for first, ESPECIALLY when you have children you need to be putting first. Kids don't NEED paid for days put or toys or chocolate, but you do need electricity and those freezers worth of food!

Bluntness100 · 26/08/2021 09:27

I think you’re just digging a hole now op. And really when you see if you’ve dug one and climbed in it’s useful to stop digging.

It’s great you love being skint, crying when your benefits are stopped, having no savings, and your power switched off. That’s lovely for you.

araiwa · 26/08/2021 09:27

Op,

Do you come from Greece?
Do you have a thirst for knowledge?

CoastalSwimmer · 26/08/2021 09:27

I understand Op. Some of our happiest times have been when we were on a strict budget and focussing on what was important and enjoying our family time together within our means. We're now at a stage of our lives when we are financially very comfortable but money doesn't bring happiness, we have a lot of stresses and worries in our lives. We look back fondly at our earlier days.

Hopdathelf · 26/08/2021 09:27

Rich and poor doesn't just apply to money though does it?

…is something only the well off ever say.

Original poster
Welcometotheterrorzone · 26/08/2021 09:27

I'm sorry but the only people who I know who have struggled to feed their kids are the working poor, as in those who aren't eligible for much but genuinely struggle.
My friend on UC (but earns more than me) gets a huge hamper of food every two weeks which she doesn't have to pick up, it's delivered. She also gets free holiday club all summer, with a bag of food to take home for dinner. This might be a postcode lottery type thing but it's not as clear cut as those on benefits are starving and those who work are tucking into cote de beouf every night. A couple with a mortgage, with one self employed, and childcare costs are usually the ones I see in financial difficulties.

OP posts:
Heathcliff27 · 26/08/2021 09:27

@araiwa

Op,

Do you come from Greece?
Do you have a thirst for knowledge?

GrinGrin
EvenRosesHaveThorns · 26/08/2021 09:29

It's nice to have this viewpoint on Mumsnet. Most of the discussions are way over my head, talking about three figure salaries and what expensive handbag to buy and what kitchen gadget is must have, so there is simply no need for the vitriol being displayed (people being indignant on the behalf of the invisible man). I'm in a similar situation, you are constantly conscious about money, always on a 'no spend', I see a takeaway or even going to a cheap pub as a luxury a few times a year, keep a close eye when big annual water bills and car tax etc. are coming up, have to go camping, in no way could afford a hotel, reduced food stickers etc. Many mumsnetters seem to be more cushioned from these daily micro acts of scrimping and saving. It's certainly not poverty, but it's a finely orchestrated dance of trying to live a well-balanced life with much less

Bluntness100 · 26/08/2021 09:30

This is the oddest thing I’ve ever seen on here and that’s saying something.

“I’m so poor my power is switched off regularly as I can’t pay the bills and cry when my benefits are impacted. I fucking love it, me”

Okdoke

Calmdown14 · 26/08/2021 09:30

Some harsh responses here. If the OP didn't organise her life in such a strict way she would be 'skint'.
I understand what you mean. We are similar. We have a fairly low household income but I am also a bargain shopper and we don't fritter away money.
I do also derive pleasure from doing it well and when you manage to find something to match your budget it's a proper little thrill.
I've often said that if I won the lottery I would miss that feeling!
So no, you don't sound unreasonable at all to me. You sound like a thrifty mum doing her very best to give her kids a nice life

Bigassbeebuzzbuzz · 26/08/2021 09:31

Trying to think of the fun I'm going to have in the supermarket today making sure I dont go over on food so I can afford to put some electric on.
I do get what your trying to say op but the way you have worded it is off.
Being skint isnt fun, its mentally and physically exhausting

MrsRobbieHart · 26/08/2021 09:31

@araiwa

Op,

Do you come from Greece?
Do you have a thirst for knowledge?

😂😂😂
Bluntness100 · 26/08/2021 09:31

@EvenRosesHaveThorns

It's nice to have this viewpoint on Mumsnet. Most of the discussions are way over my head, talking about three figure salaries and what expensive handbag to buy and what kitchen gadget is must have, so there is simply no need for the vitriol being displayed (people being indignant on the behalf of the invisible man). I'm in a similar situation, you are constantly conscious about money, always on a 'no spend', I see a takeaway or even going to a cheap pub as a luxury a few times a year, keep a close eye when big annual water bills and car tax etc. are coming up, have to go camping, in no way could afford a hotel, reduced food stickers etc. Many mumsnetters seem to be more cushioned from these daily micro acts of scrimping and saving. It's certainly not poverty, but it's a finely orchestrated dance of trying to live a well-balanced life with much less
But do you love it and never want it to change? You always want to live like this? Because that’s what the op is saying.
BubbleCoffee · 26/08/2021 09:31

No doubt this will be in the Daily Fail soon...

DrSbaitso · 26/08/2021 09:32

"A millionaire may enjoy breakfasting off orange juice and Ryvita biscuits; an unemployed man doesn't." - George Orwell

Wavypurple · 26/08/2021 09:32

A day out and a gift at the end of it is not skint.

MrsRobbieHart · 26/08/2021 09:32

Ahhh so this is a stealth benefit bashing thread. I was waiting for the point to kick in.

EvenRosesHaveThorns · 26/08/2021 09:32

Do watch the Yorkshire men sketch with John Cleese et Al. Grin

RyanReynoldsHusband · 26/08/2021 09:33

National Trust, sweet shop, toys on the way home. And this is ‘skint’? Get a grip

Getyourarseofffthequattro · 26/08/2021 09:34

What gets me is the people of MN usually think everyone is poor who doesn't have a 6 figure salary a nanny and 6 foreign holidays a year. Now here everyone is telling op how well off she is for having a whole £24 left at the end of the month.

That's not well off at all. Yes there are people worse off but those saying she's "comfortable' are having a laugh. That's not comfortable at all!

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