2nd Thread: friend wants to move in for a 'few months'

[islandhoppin]

As continued from my previous thread.

[quote YellowandGreenToBeSeen]**@youvegottenminuteslynn* and @caughtinanet*
Ok. You’re right.
I’m wrong.
Be happy in your righteousness.[/quote]
Right and righteous aren't the same thing you know

Sorry for no updates / replies. I'm going to sleep now. Absolutely exhausted! Thanks again everyone for your support x

Sleep well @islandhoppin
Hopefully tomorrow is a better day, with no unwarranted voicemails

@caughtinanet you don’t say?! Well, every days a school day!

@youvegottenminuteslynn not sure that’s even a word but I’m sure you know best.

[quote YellowandGreenToBeSeen]@caughtinanet you don’t say?! Well, every days a school day!

@youvegottenminuteslynn not sure that’s even a word but I’m sure you know best.[/quote]
Well no, it's not a word obviously.

You're a funny one!

@islandhoppin you sleep well. Honestly you're doing fabulously.

@islandhoppin Another who wishes you a good nights sleep. Hope you have a peaceful weekend

Sleep well, OP.

OP, I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw this thread, I was commenting on the first one at the very beginning and never thought it would go to this. Imo she was a CF just to ask you at the first place but to put you under so much pressure when you clearly said “no” and worded it really reasonably and politely!

You dealt with it really well, she just showed her true colours to you. Ignore her and don’t engage.

Hope you have a nice relaxing weekend.

Its become quite a drama........................

Some people just can't cope with refusal and the word No 😕

Absolutely it has become way too much and a drama indeed. Not what I wanted or expected. It's been a nightmare, I can't cope with things like this at the best of times let alone coming from a lady I called my best friend.

@islandhoppin

I hope you wake tomorrow refreshed and feeling like a new person who has removed a dead weight.
I truly believe she has worn you down over the years which is why your initial reaction to her request was one of anxiety instead of a form confident no. You have learned over the years that she is unstable and capable of going off the handle, you just haven’t seen it in all it’s “glory” until now. That is why you were anxious.

I also echo others in that I suspect she has fed you a pack of lies over the years about her financial circumstances and the supposed paying off of the mortgage. There is some reason why she urgently needs to move and can’t wait for her house to sell and it could be a whole range of things such as: debt build up or gambling, house remortgaged and spent on something, maybe having never used the cash gift to pay off the mortgage so the mortgage is maybe still huge, maybe the gift never existed, the joint owner is maybe actually the sole owner, wanting to give money to her new DP for some reason or coerced into it (he seems to be gaining a lot from the proposal). Or trying to buy a house way out of her budget.

In banking we see all sorts of things that people would never disclose to their close friends to “ keep up with joneses”.

There is something going on which you might never get to the bottom of and she still hasn’t given you the courtesy of enlightening you.

Nonetheless she has burnt her bridges with you now that’s for sure!

I was going to say is she prone to lying or exaggerating situations-maybe the mortgage story is bolocks not thats any reason to talk to a friend like that

@VillanellesOrangeCoat

I’ve always wondered why I got notification of voicemails when phone hasn’t rung - now I realise they’re blocked numbers! Learnt something, thank you! (iPhone user too)

On some networks, it is possible to ring straight through to voicemail by placing a digit (I think 5, in some cases) ahead of the phone number.

@CharityDingle Didn’t know that either! Off to google…

She's deluded if she thinks after her performance you'll be changing your mind cam you imagine 2 days of living with her, let alone 2 months??!
Bullies like her get their way through intimidating and coercing people, then playing the victim. Same pattern always.

Well done, it's so hard i know from personal experience, but you won't regret it long term

What is your DP saying about the whole thing ? it's His home too ... Try to keep your stress levels down .. I know its easier said than done.. but please keep focusing on the positives in your life.. 🌸

Really feel for you, stay resolute, you owe her precisely nothing. You've grown up with her, but so what? You're a grown up now and you can tell her to wind her fucking neck in or the police will be involved. Seriously. I'd say that because nobody crosses my boundaries. I also think an email to your local police force is a good idea. It's easy to just lodge it without asking for action. Please protect yourself from this absolute bully. She is not your friend. You can have much better friends. But never be afraid to stand up for yourself.

Wow she's a nutcase. Leave her to it. Well done OP and good luck!

Yes good luck today

Did you listen to the second voice mail?

No I haven't listened to the 2nd voicemail yet

And if you don’t want to then don’t, delete without listening.. protect your energy! Let her rant and ignore her.