2nd Thread: friend wants to move in for a 'few months'

[islandhoppin]

As continued from my previous thread.

Glad you’re ok and DP is there. Keep a note of what’s going on and if she turns up again where you are I’d report to the police.
It’s great that mumsnet has been able to provide such support and advice and enables you to stand your ground.
Honestly she sounds deranged. Glad your DP is so supportive and massive well done for standing up to her bullying tactics.

To the people saying talk to the police please calm down and stop making such silly comments.

Of course the OP can't ring up the police saying
"My friend wants to move into my home and I said no. Now she is sending me texts and has shouted down the phone at me leaving me angry voicemails. She even turned up at the Train Station Car Park when I was on my way home. She's said she is going to speak to her boyfriend to try and get me and my partner to change our minds. What are you going to do about it?!"

Get real people and stop frightening the OP.

Wtf is WRONG with her,?

OP 🥺 I can feel your anxiety it’s awful! I don’t know what to suggest but she is acting wild..!

Have you partner listen to the voicemails, she might have calmed down a bit. I think I’d unblock her and just ignore, better than the not knowing and worrying if she’s just going to pop up at any moment. She really is not being fair and using your anxiety against you to get what she wants. X

@friendlycat The OP didn't dare leave the station because this woman's car was there and had to call her partner and you think it's 'silly' to suggest she talk to the police? Do you always minimise other people's problems like this?

Next step Police

I've heard of similar stuff happening within families where estranged relatives are expected to house uninvited guests that just turn up, or are asked to care for them when they come out of hospital when they've refused care in their own homes.

Wow I’m just catching up since last night and this woman is completely mental!

OP this is not how a friend would behave at all so you should reassure yourself you have done everything right.

I’m not sure what the previous dynamics of the friendship was but if you take a step back are you sure she isn’t the root cause of all your anxiety problems? She is majorly controlling and if she was a partner we would all tell you to get out of the relationship. This is no different.

I’m glad your partner got you home before she cornered you at the station, and please ask him to say something to her if you don’t feel strong enough. She needs to be told in order uncertain terms that this behaviour is unacceptable.

@FangsForTheMemory
No I do not minimise other people's problems and have been supportive of the OP throughout this thread as you would see from my posts.

But I think it is alarmist encouraging her to contact the Police.

I understand she is upset as I would be as well but this is not a Police matter.

No uncertain terms*

Is there any other reason she'd be at the station at the exact time you got there?

@islandhoppin

She was gifted a fairly large sum which she put against her mortgage, so she doesn't have long left at all.

Where does the family member she lives with come into it if she reckons she’s paid off the mortgage?

Is it a joint mortgage? I just think she’s lying about this it makes no sense I think she’s making this up and thus lie is somehow tied in with her wanting to move in

[quote FangsForTheMemory]@friendlycat The OP didn't dare leave the station because this woman's car was there and had to call her partner and you think it's 'silly' to suggest she talk to the police? Do you always minimise other people's problems like this?[/quote]
Well yes, it is silly to push for a call to the police, because the first question the police will ask is whether ex friend was in the car, and OP will have to say she doesn't know.

Yep, she wanted to "offer" you a lift and to convince you once you were in the car that you now owed her some rent-free accommodation. She's a fruitcake!

@QueenBee52

Next step Police

Don’t be ridiculous, you can’t call the police because a bat shit ex friend asks to move in with you then leaves you some voice messages and is parked at the train station.

Get a serious grip, this is horrible behaviour but it’s not police worthy.

[quote friendlycat]**@FangsForTheMemory
No I do not minimise other people's problems and have been supportive of the OP throughout this thread as you would see from my posts.

But I think it is alarmist encouraging her to contact the Police.

I understand she is upset as I would be as well but this is not a Police matter.[/quote]
Then you clearly don't understand that this is STALKING and HARASSMENT, and it is very much a police matter.

Then you clearly don't understand that this is STALKING and HARASSMENT, and it is very much a police matter

No, at this point it isn't.

@Jemand

Then you clearly don't understand that this is STALKING and HARASSMENT, and it is very much a police matter

No, at this point it isn't.

At what point does it become that then?

Of course it is.

How does she think living together could possibly work after all this? She's a complete fruit loop!!

Her behaviour has gone so far beyond what is acceptable. Yours has been exemplary, islandhoppin.

I’m predicting she’ll turn up at your house next OP, better prepare yourself!

If this is her typical behaviour, its a good thing you didn't agree to have her staying with you. Even a week sounds awful.

According to my friend, who is estranged from her children - the police have taken the many instances of her stalking them seriously. She is certainly minimizing her actions but they only got involved once her children had sent her clear messages telling her to leave them alone or they would involve the police. They had to formally tell her to leave them alone.

Once the police became involved then things moved very quickly. The police couldn't stop her from being in public places but she wasn't allowed to approach her children. I think it was the later restraining order that kept her away from places she knew they'd be.

How would she know your work schedule and that you'd be at the train station? Could she just have left her car there and also have gone on the train?
I also doubt she's paid off her mortgage sounds like she's struggling with something.