CF. DSD, DSDs mum and dog

[Purplewishes]

Currently on mat leave with twins, also have a toddler and DSD13 who stays between 2-4 nights a week depending on what she wants to do.

Have a great relationship with DSD and been in her life since she was 4 and usually have a good relationship with her mum.

DSD has a dog at her mum's, it's a small dog, unsure of the breed, it's yappy and it's not house trained and still pees and shits in the house. (DSD tells me this) I am not a great lover of dogs (traumatic experience when I was younger so please don't let the dog lovers hate me) anyway DSD has been talking a lot recently about her dog and she should bring it to meet the twins (?) Obv met with a laugh and "no chance"

I got a message from her mum a few days ago "Hiya, just a random question, are you a dog person?" To which I replied no. She then messaged back and said "oh well if you want to take the dog this weekend for us then I'm sure you will become one" She has a weekend away with her partner that has been booked for ages (which we obv knew about for childcare for DSD) I messaged her back joking and said no way. A few messages back and forth and she explained that her dog care had fallen through at the last min and she's really stuck.
She said that she either will need to cancel the weekend or that me and DSD would need to travel back and forward to her house twice a day to walk the dog so that would be two half hour round trips. I said no that I would be busy and she Jokingly said it would give me something to do while on mat leave

Also to note DSD will be in school on the Thurs and friday so her mum would be expecting me, the toddler and the twins to all take the journey to walk the dog ourselves.

Spoke to DSD who has been begging me to allow the dog to come and I was starting to feel a bit guilty and was starting to consider it UNTIL she let the cat out of the bag and said her mum had never booked dog care in the first place and had told DSD the dog would always be coming with her to our house.

AIBU to just sit and laugh knowing there's not a fuckin chance in the world I'm doing it now

I would rather my dog be with my ex and kids than in a kennel. But I always ask him outright, not force the dog on him. He always has him if I’m away to be fair.

However, I also remember what it’s like to have baby twins. Can’t imagine how stressful it would be to have a toddler and a dog to look after as well!

Tell her the twins and toddler are coming to stay with her the next weekend (with no nappies) and they aren’t house trained either!

I absolutely love dogs, but this would be a definitely
be a no from me.

If she can't be bothered to toilet train the dog, can she be bothered to worm and vaccinate the dog? Without vaccinations she'll never get the dog in kennels. Without worming I'd never have a dog anywhere near a baby especially one that goes to the toilet in the house.

Stick to your guns, she's taking the pee

Glad to see you are staying strong and not entertaining this CF!

Is the dog vaccinated? If not, it can’t go into kennels.

I wouldn't be surprised if her weekend away ends up being cancelled and she thinks you're the reason. Our dog is in kennels until Sat and they couldn't extend the stay till Sun (last min change of plans) because they're fully booked with it being the bank holiday weekend. I wouldn't start ringing round, it implies you're partly responsible.

I agree with the poster who said if she can't be bothered to toilet train the dog he's probably not vaccinated or wormed. Do not let this animal anywhere near your babies.
And definitely don't start ringing round kennels.

Why is she trying to guilt trip you saying if you don’t help she’ll have to cancel her trip? That’s just not true, she could do what everyone else does by necessity and book a kennel/dog sitter for her pet.

Hopefully she’ll be happy when you let her know it’s her turn to babysit your baby twins because otherwise you’ll need to cancel your three week Caribbean cruise.

This is beyond CFery!

Stick to your guns OP, if you don’t the dog will be with you full time before you know it!

And I say this as a dog obsessed dog owner!

@orphlids I can confirm I did not take your comment seriously and no dogs will be out down on my watch

I did however get the following message
"Oh ok. I don't see the big deal about having the dog. If not I'm not sure what we will do we might have to cancel and will lose all the money"

@kanaloa ohhh that does sound like a good trade.

"I will watch dog if you take the twins next weekend "

Wow she's so ridiculous.
You could send her a link to one of the many dog sitting sites, or "Hope you find somewhere hun "

Predictably, she's now trying to guilt-trip you all. If it's put the trip in jeopardy, she should have sorted something out much earlier. Send her the numbers of local kennels.

Do not refer to the emotional manipulation in any way. Just respond with something like "good luck!" and leave it. She'll keep trying to push you into doing it. These types don't give up.

Firstly I am a dog lover . However I would not bring a yappy untrained dog into a house with young children . Do not give in .

I love it. You have a toddler and twin babies, and she 'doesn't see the big deal' ...

Don’t even attempt to take that dog in😂😂😂 cheeky cow!!! You will be up to your elbows In baby shit as it is you don’t need to be scrubbing dog shit! And something to do on maternity leave 😂😂😂 what planet is she on have you not enough on your plate!!!

Twin babies, toddler & a random dog shitting everywhere, I think fucking not!
She's a cheeky bitch, I can't believe she replied again I would just tell her straight this time, if your dog ends up at my house I will call the dog warden saying I found it wandering around.

[quote Purplewishes]@orphlids I can confirm I did not take your comment seriously and no dogs will be out down on my watch

I did however get the following message
"Oh ok. I don't see the big deal about having the dog. If not I'm not sure what we will do we might have to cancel and will lose all the money"[/quote]
Say "that would be a shame for you"

This is bloody CF behaviour. You didn't make a commitment to have a dog, they did.

Her message is hilarious. Reply in an equally “not actually saying what you’re saying way” with something like: What a shame for you! Take care.

If DSD turns up with the dog anyway, take the dog back to ex’s house and call the RSPCA about a dog left alone.

If the dog is the daughter's, then I do think that her dad should be taking her there to walk it tbh.

To be honest, if it's dsds dog then I would start to realise that it may come with her, it's not fair on the dog to be left (whether she should have bought a dog is a different matter!) we've ended up up with dp's DD's cat because her mum said it had to go - I'm allergic to cats but I couldn't break her heart and send it to rehoming. Not ideal but you do these things for the kids not their parents

Of course you don’t have to have the dog.

However I’d be tempted to take it then crate it in the garden (nice warm weather, anti bark muzzle) and do some intensive training while she’s away. Old school methods and strict obedience training, do you have a friend who trains working dogs or anything?

She’ll either have a trained dog when she returns or she’ll never ask you to dog sit again!