CF. DSD, DSDs mum and dog

[Purplewishes]

Currently on mat leave with twins, also have a toddler and DSD13 who stays between 2-4 nights a week depending on what she wants to do.

Have a great relationship with DSD and been in her life since she was 4 and usually have a good relationship with her mum.

DSD has a dog at her mum's, it's a small dog, unsure of the breed, it's yappy and it's not house trained and still pees and shits in the house. (DSD tells me this) I am not a great lover of dogs (traumatic experience when I was younger so please don't let the dog lovers hate me) anyway DSD has been talking a lot recently about her dog and she should bring it to meet the twins (?) Obv met with a laugh and "no chance"

I got a message from her mum a few days ago "Hiya, just a random question, are you a dog person?" To which I replied no. She then messaged back and said "oh well if you want to take the dog this weekend for us then I'm sure you will become one" She has a weekend away with her partner that has been booked for ages (which we obv knew about for childcare for DSD) I messaged her back joking and said no way. A few messages back and forth and she explained that her dog care had fallen through at the last min and she's really stuck.
She said that she either will need to cancel the weekend or that me and DSD would need to travel back and forward to her house twice a day to walk the dog so that would be two half hour round trips. I said no that I would be busy and she Jokingly said it would give me something to do while on mat leave

Also to note DSD will be in school on the Thurs and friday so her mum would be expecting me, the toddler and the twins to all take the journey to walk the dog ourselves.

Spoke to DSD who has been begging me to allow the dog to come and I was starting to feel a bit guilty and was starting to consider it UNTIL she let the cat out of the bag and said her mum had never booked dog care in the first place and had told DSD the dog would always be coming with her to our house.

AIBU to just sit and laugh knowing there's not a fuckin chance in the world I'm doing it now

Dog care my arse;she doesn't want to pay kennel fees.

Say no;to everything;not your circus not your monkeys.

Once you’ve said no way to both having it AND walking it, I wouldn’t discuss it with her any more.

Anyone who said this to me:-“oh well if you want to take the dog this weekend for us then I'm sure you will become one" can fuck right off. She didn’t even ask you! Saying, ‘if you want to’ is bizarre as it paves the way for you to reply, ‘no, I don’t want to.’

Why can't she book a kennel?

The relationships and dynamics between you all don't matter, I wouldn't even watch the dog of my best mate in the world!

No harm in her asking but to keep pushing it is sooooo cheeky!

Is she on MN 👀??

Tell her to send it to a training kennels so it can be housetrained by someone who isn't a CF

I was thinking that for someone you are amicable with and considering it’s DSD’s dog, that looking after it as a one off would be fine but not when I read that care had never been booked. Glad you are standing firm and I agree with PP about not saying anything about the lie for your DSD’s sake.

God, definitely glad you aren’t agreeing. A dog that isn’t properly trained in an unfamiliar environment that might get stressed out with the noise of babies and toddlers is a disaster waiting to happen.

Just to add the dog should not be left home with just someone coming in to walk twice a day, that would be very cruel.

Don't do it. I did this once because my then ex gave me a guilt trip and I always regretted bending my rules for them.

@Blueeilidh

Just to add the dog should not be left home with just someone coming in to walk twice a day, that would be very cruel.

And obviously you are completely reasonable to refuse to have the dog stay

That's pure cheek. 2 babies and a toddler and she thinks it will give you something to do while on maternity. Tell her to start phoning kennels cause there's no way you have time for a non trained yappy dog or trips to walk it.

Ha ha, chancy mare! I'm glad she's met her match in you, OP, it sounds like you can stand your ground!

She’s a rascal isn’t she? No I wouldn’t say that I knew she was lying because I wouldn’t want to do that to DSD but absolutely no fucking way would I budge on that dog coming to stay. You’d be well within your rights to say no even if it was a little angel, but it’s not even housetrained ffs. Nah, not for me… and I love dogs.

YANBU, so refreshing to read about an OP who responded with ‘no chance’ as soon as she was asked!

Just how much of a CF is she? I'd be worried she's going to leave the dog behind to force someone to take it in/go feed it etc. She needs to hope a local kennel has last min availability. Her problem, not yours.

Don't let on that DSD dropped her mum in it. You just can't do it.

UNTIL she let the cat out of the bag
And then you say she won’t sneak the dog in her school bag… be careful! If the CF mum is this cheeky, your “no” won’t be the end of it. She’s going to get that dog to your house somehow.

@thenewduchessofhastings I did actually think that the kennel fees would have maybe played a part. Why pay for something when you assume you can get it for free right

@sunbathingDragon yup it was when I found out she hadn't arranged anything that fucked it. I probably would have ended up going to walk the dog but no chance now.

@huuskymam not like the toddler and twins keep me busy or anything. Just sit about all day looking for something to do.

She hasnt replied to my message yet but had opened and read it.

A 13-year-old can stay at her own house with the dog for a weekend. Would that not be an option? I don't think a 13-year-old can't be left alone

@Hellotoallmyfans

Why can't she book a kennel?

The relationships and dynamics between you all don't matter, I wouldn't even watch the dog of my best mate in the world!

No harm in her asking but to keep pushing it is sooooo cheeky!

Is she on MN 👀??

I bloody hope not. But if she is here and she is reading then "hello... I'm still not taking the dog" 🤣

[quote Purplewishes]@JenniferAllisonPhillipaSue first of all, I just sang your user name

DH said initially it was totally up to me. Then when we found out she was always planning sending dog here he said no chance and she was trying to pull a fast one.

As for the organisation thing, DH couldn't organise a piss up in a pub so it makes life easier for me and DSD mum to make plans and then I fill in DH later. It's always worked well this way and me and DSD mum have always got on really well. This will probably end that lol

She doesn't know that DSD has let it slip she was always planning sending dog here and that she's lied about dog care falling through.

Should I just say no and leave it at that or challenge her on the lying?[/quote]
Cant get over the fact that your DH has just given you and DSD mum the organisation of your DSD. He has done very well out of this hasn't he!

@xelaM no, there's no way I would be comfortable with DSD being left alone for a night let alone a weekend nor would her mum or DH.

What a cheeky cow!

I bloody hope not.
But if she is here and she is reading then "hello... I'm still not taking the dog"

😂

What a CF.

Glad you shut her down straight away

You are so not being unreasonable.

I would probably end up taking the damn dog and feeling like a mug, as well as being knackered with twins and a toddler.

Good on you for standing your ground. I admire you for it!